You Can Cry All You Want To, I Don't Care

When we get home Mikey and I walk inside and it's like a family reunion, all our grandparents and aunts and uncles and cousins are there. Mikey and I keep our grip on each other's hands as we are passed from one relative to another, suffering through hugs and kisses and prods in the sides and being told that we're "Far too skinny, aren't they feeding you at that school?" By the time we make it out of the living room we are both exhausted and feeling upset again. We walk up the stairs and separate, going into our own rooms and after a few minutes I leave and cross the hall to mom and dad's room, slowly walking over to moms dressing table and sitting in her chair, running my fingers lightly over all her things before I get up and lay on her side of the bed, burying my face in her pillow and inhaling the sweet scent I haven't smelled in far too long, letting myself break again as I start to sob into it. A few minutes later the door creaks open and I turn my head to see Mikey in the doorway and we lock eyes, his own red and swollen too and he runs across the room and jumps onto the bed, crushing himself against my side as we lay together, squeezed into moms side of the bed, both breathing in the scent we'll only ever smell here again. After a while I let my eyes drift closed, Mikey's already having done so, his breathing deep and even and I let myself fall into sleep where I hope it will be less painful.

I wake up a few hours later, Mikey cuddled up to me, his head in my neck and his arm around my waist and I shift slightly, realising we're not in the bed alone. Dad is asleep on Mikey's other side and I reach out over Mikey and grab his hand, needing to know he's still with us. I lay awake for a while just thinking when Dad stirs and opens his eyes, mumbling to himself before he fully wakes up and he looks over at me, pain in his eyes and he whispers "I'm sorry Gee." I squeeze his hand in response and he whispers "How's Mikes doing?" "Not good" I tell him and he sighs before bringing his free hand up to gently rub up and down Mikey's back. "You wanna go get some coffee?" He asks and I nod before we both carefully slide off the bed, trying to not disturb Mikey, making our way out of the room and downstairs where everyone has left for now to let us rest. I follow dad into the kitchen and sit at the bench while he makes the coffee and once he's seated beside me he says "So, Frank is it?" Causing me to smile softly as I think about him. "Yeah Frank." "How long have you been together?" "A little while, he's only transferred not long ago." Dad nods, clearly unsure of what to say but trying his best to make a connection between us that we seem to have lost since Mikey and I went to boarding school. We talk for a little while before a warm hand touches my back and another slides around to steal my cup, Mikey drinking half of what's left in one gulp before sitting the cup back on the bench. "Hey" I greet him and he nods before making his way to the counter, grabbing a cup and pouring his own coffee, bringing the pot over and refilling mine for me before offering it to dad. "No thanks" dad says and Mikey returns the pot before taking the third seat at the bench. "Boys I have some things to sort out so you can either stay here or come with me." "I don't wanna....I just wanna stay here" I tell him and he smiles softly and says "That's alright, I'll be back in a few hours, I have my cell if you need anything at all." We nod in response and he gets up, leaving the room and a few minutes later the front door closes. I open my mouth to speak to Mikey when my cell starts ringing in my pocket and when I pull it out it's Frank.

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