You Can Cry All You Want To, I Don't Care

By the time Ian's alarm goes off my eyes are stinging, my eyelids are heavy and my head is pounding. "Did you sleep at all?" Ian croaks out as he opens his eyes and I shake my head, sitting up and saying "I'll get out of your way," grabbing my laptop and leaving the room. I put the laptop back in the bedroom before making my way out to the living room and I lay down on the couch, curling up as much as I can as I stare off into space, just listening to the sounds of Ian moving around the apartment getting ready. Just before he's about to leave Ian comes into the room and kneels infront of me as he says "Gee I have to go now, will you be ok?" And I shrug, remaining silent. "I'm gonna call him again. I'll be home at 2 if you're around, we can hang out. Try to get some sleep, you look exhausted." "Thanks Ian" I croak out, my voice sounding rough. "It'll be ok Gee" he reassures me as he stands back up and gently reaches down to stroke my hair back off my face as he walks away, the sound of the front door closing sounding out a few seconds later. I spend the next hour just staring into space until I physically can't keep my eyes open any longer and I fall into a nightmare filled sleep, dreaming about Frank tying me up and torturing me and when I wake up I stumble off the couch, rushing towards the bathroom and I barely make it to the toilet before the vomit gushes from my mouth, my stomach churning and I swear the smell of my own blood that is clouding my nose is real. I vomit until there's nothing left and I am just painfully dry heaving, my stomach protesting the action and I stand up, flushing the toilet and stumbling to the sink, my whole body shaking and my legs feeling unstable as I rinse my mouth out, splashing water on my face before I turn to leave the bathroom.

Once I step back out into the hallway I decide to go lay in bed rather than on the uncomfortable couch again and once I get there I collapse in the middle of the mattress, pulling the blanket over myself, even over my head as I curl up around Franks pillow which I have crushed to my chest and I let my eyes slip closed, falling back to sleep quickly. The next time I wake up I'm still alone in the room and the very last of the afternoon sunlight is shining through the blinds. I sit up slowly, looking around and the room is empty, no signs that Frank has been here visible and I feel my heart throb painfully as I slide off the side of the bed, standing up and making my way out to the kitchen where I find Ian sitting at the table with a beer in his hand. "Hey, how are you feeling now?" "Did he come back?" Ian sighs before saying "Yeah, he was here but I told him not to wake you. He'll be back real soon." "Where did he go?" I ask as I walk in and sit at the table. "He's...." But the front door opens and I look over to the doorway as Frank walks in, his expression unreadable. "Gerard, we need to talk" he says, his voice low and even and I swallow hard as I stand and follow him from the room, going into the bedroom and sitting on the bed as Frank closes the door behind us and crosses the room to join me.

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