You Can Cry All You Want To, I Don't Care

Ian holds me while I cry it out before I sit back up and wipe my cheeks dry and he says "Gee, he'll come home. He loves you he's just upset." "It's not just that he's gone, he doesn't trust me Ian and I never did anything for him to doubt me and despite everything he's done to me I trusted him enough to let him back into my life." "Oh Gee" he says softly as he pulls me back into his side. "Sometimes people say and do things when they're upset or scared that they don't really mean. I know how worried Frank was about you and things just escalated. He'll come back, I promise you." "But where is he? Why isn't he answering his phone? Is he out fucking someone else again? I told him how fucking worried I am, why wouldn't he atleast text back?" "I don't know, do you want me to try calling?" "You don't have to, I guess I'll just wait for him to come back." "Ok Gee, I'm gonna take a shower and go to bed, I'm doing the early shift tomorrow. You can come wake me if you need anything." "Thanks Ian" I say softly as he gets up and leaves the room and I turn the volume on the tv down as I shift around and lay on the couch, deciding to wait here for Frank to come home but after a while my eyes get heavy and I can't keep them open any longer, Frank still not home.

I wake up with a jolt from one of the worst nightmares I've ever had, falling from the couch and hitting the floor hard and I sit up as tears stream down my face. I slowly stand up, the tv still playing and lighting the otherwise pitch black living room and I stumble over to the door, tears still streaming down my cheeks as I feel my way down the hallway and when I reach the bedroom the door is still open and I fear the worst, Frank didn't come home at all. I reach out and flick the light on and my fears are realised, the bed is empty and hasn't been touched and I let out a low whine as I sink to the floor and start sobbing uncontrollably, the pain in my chest feeling unbearable. I sit on the floor sobbing for a minute before I'm startled by warm hands touching my back and shoulder and I jerk harshly as I turn, praying it's Frank but I'm met with Ian kneeling behind me in the doorway. "He didn't come back" I wail out and Ian sighs before saying "Hang on" and he stands up and walks back into his room, coming out with his phone pressed to his ear. "Frank call me back, your husband is fucking beside himself right now incase you can't hear him. Call me back or get your ass home right fucking now" he snaps before hanging up and coming back to kneel beside me. "Gee how about you try to get some sleep?" I shake my head as I say "Don't want to, I had a nightmare and I don't want to." "Ok well how about you do something to take your mind off it? We could go back to the living room and start another movie? Or play a game? Or you could draw?" "You don't have to stay up with me, I'll be ok" I choke out, my voice cracking and Ian frowns and says "I'm not gonna leave you like this and just go back to bed. Do you wanna come lay in there with me then? We could watch something on your laptop?" I nod slowly and Ian helps me up, waiting while I grab my laptop and we settle in his bed, the laptop laying between us and it doesn't take long before Ian is snoring softly again, his phone laying on the table beside the bed and Frank doesn't call back or come home and I spend the rest of the night laying in Ian's bed staring at the laptop screen with movies cued up but I'm not really seeing what's happening on the screen, my mind preoccupied with where Frank could be and who with, my heart aching inside my chest.

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