Lost Lovers in the sea, are you gonna die with me?

Eighth grade year, quite possibly the shittiest year of my life and now that I look back on it a sinking feeling sets on my body. 'Used wasted piece of shit, breaking down with every hit' I thought to myself writing it down in my journal as I did so. Now it was my senior year, my friends had all but left me and I honestly didn't blame them. I'm shit at singing I can't even play the guitar right, I'm ugly, fat, stupid, and don't even get me started on my sexual preferences. Oh and if I hadn't forgotten surely the asshole that made me feel this way kept into my mind reminding me as usual that I should kill myself. I grew up in a happy home, parents and dogs. Church every Sunday until eighth grade year. I ignored half of my friends, dove into my bands, and seldom few people still talked to me. My mother has me in therapy but if I'm honest it's not doing anything. I started cutting when I was 13 and now as my 18 birthday draws near I'm stuck on wether or not I should try and graduate. Gerard Way is about the only reason I'm still living. He knows everything except the major crush I hold for him. Maybe I could tell him how I feel this year and not have to worry. If I'm rejected I can just kill myself, no one would care anyways. 'Maybe you can help me for a while, see through my plastered smile, but you'll never save me from my head, when all it asks is to be dead.' I wrote again before putting my journal away. I walked our of my house and grabbed the keys to my car. I started the engine and headed off to school desperate to end this school year already

Notes

Sorry it's short but I'm going swimming and have to hide some stupid cuts :/