Hey Mr. Way

I was woken up by Gerard calling my name from the kitchen.
'' Frankie I made you food, '' he called out to me. I dragged myself out of bed, not wanting to leave the comfy duvet but knowing I had to.
'' Listen, about today, '' Gerard said, putting a plate of pancakes down infront of me as I slumped into a chair. Oh shit. It's today. Today's the day I have to fucking go identify my mum's body.
'' Yeah? '' I sighed, looking up at Gerard.
'' I'll come in with you, okay? Just to make sure you'll be okay. It's gonna be fine, it won't take two seconds, you just have to promise me to stay strong Frankie, you always have me, okay? ''
'' Okay Gerard, '' I said quietly, '' I'm...not very hungry...''
'' You don't have to eat if you don't want, I wont force you baby. Do you wanna go get yourself dressed and sorted? ''
I nodded in reply and went back to the bedroom, dragging my feet along the floor. Gerard came in just as I'd finished getting dressed, giving me a reasuring smile. I decided to put some eyeliner on, because I felt that for some reason I had to be like myself for this. My mum always saw me in eyeliner, and I wanted it to be this way now.
I huffed in anger and wiped off the eyeliner which had gone wrong for the third time, and went back into the bedroom to the mirror to try again, to see Gerard waiting there smiling at me.
'' You want some help? '' he asked, and I nodded and handed him the eyeliner.
'' I've had practice. I used to wear it all the time as a kid, but I don't wear it often now. '' he said applying it carefully.
'' Thanks, '' I said, taking back the eyeliner before adding, '' I bet you look great with eyeliner. ''
Gerard chuckled and I could tell that he was proud of me for trying to talk and take my mind off things, and lighten the mood a little.
'' You ready? '' he asked, shoving the rest of the pancake which I left into his mouth.
I nodded and we headed out to the car. It was fucking freezing so I had to run back and get my jacket. After about 10 minutes in the car I realised I had no idea where we were actually going and how long it was going to take.
'' How long will it take? '' I asked.
'' Do you mean the car journey or..? ''
'' The journey. ''
'' About another half an hour ish, '' Gerard said.
'' Gerard? '' I asked, wanting to ask him another, more important question.
'' Yeah Frankie? ''
'' Where...where am I gonna go...like where am I gonna live now..? ''
'' I'm...not sure. You'll probably stay with me for now, but you might end up going into a care home type thing, but don't worry you're not gonna get fostered or anything. ''
'' Okay, '' I sighed. Gerard knew that I really didn't want to go to a care home or anything like that. He knew that I wanted to stay with him forever, but that just wasn't possible. I'm as lucky as hell to be alowed to live with him temporarily like I am now.
I sat the rest of the journey in total silence, getting more and more worked up and nervous over seeing her. I didn't want to, it was going to be horrible, and I had no idea what the fuck I was supposed to be doing or saying. Am I just going in a room and looking at her and saying '' Oh yes, it's definitely her, that's definitely my dead fucking mother '', jesus fucking christ.
'' We're here, '' Gerard said, pulling into a space. I got out and looked at Gerard. I had no expression on my face yet he still could tell how nervous and upset I felt.
'' It's okay, '' he said, taking my hand and walking inside the building with me. It was cold in there, not much difference to the temperature outside. At least, that's what I thought, but maybe it was just me feeling cold. We sat down in some waiting room kinda thing with white walls and about five green chairs, and a wooden table with a couple of magazines that where all torn and a newspaper. The whole place was silent, we hadn't passed a single person since we'd been here. I sat quietly, not wanting to talk, but at the same time hating the silence.
'' I love you Frankie, '' Gerard whispered.
It made me smile, even though I was about to cry.
'' I love y-''
'' Frank Iero? '' I heard a woman's voice say.
I looked up to see a woman dressed in white. She looked...upset for me, as I nodded and slowly rose to my feet. She gave me a sorrowful look.
'' This way then, '' she said, giving me a weak smile. I didn't smile back, instead I just followed her, Gerard coming along behind me. We walked down a deserted hallway, the only sound was the woman's shoes tapping on the floor as she lead the way. As I got further and further down the cooridor my breathing got faster and faster and I could feel myself going into the start of a panic attack as a tear rolled uncontrolably down my cheek. I wiped it away and mentaly told myself to stop and keep it together.
'' Here, just go in Frankie, '' the woman said. Frankie. Nobody apart from Gerard or my mum had ever called me Frankie, and the woman didn't even know me. I looked up to see Gerard narrowing his eyes at her, obviously hating the fact that she was giving me a nickname. I found it cute how he was protecting me and how he thought it was like she was hitting on me or something. I chuckled at him out loud and he smiled at me. The woman looked confused as to why I was laughing, but Gerard just went and gave her another dirty look, as if to say ''stay away from my Frankie''.
I took a breath and pushed the door open.
I breathed out again, '' It's not her. ''

Notes

So guys on Friday I got to see Gerard AGAIN! I travelled 4 hours to Glasgow. And it was a surprise :3 I was meant to meet him backstage cos I know the manager of the support band Darlia, so he was trying to get me backstage to see him, but Gee didnt go backstage he stayed in his tour bus to dress cos the dressing room was so small. Then he was in a mood about it and he didnt wanna see anyone:( It was still amazing cos I got to meet Darlia and they signed stuff and took their picture with me :D
P.S. I'm changing my name on here, I'll post an authors note about it too incase people dont read these notes at the end cos I know a lot of people dont.
Thanks for reading this guys I hope you're still enjoying it :) x