I'm Not Okay

*Frank’s POV*

I stayed with Gerard the whole time he was out which was around 19 hours. Through that whole thing he stayed out. He didn’t move at all. He just stayed on his back breathing very very softy. So softly that if you weren’t looking would look like he was dead and you would have to stare at him for awhile to see that gentle rise and fall of his chest. He didn’t even make that cute little snore he does when he’s asleep. He just….lied there. I don’t even know if he was really resting or the drugs took over his body and made him rest. I could still see his eyes rapidly moving behind his eyelids so I knew he wasn’t as peaceful as Patrick would have wanted him. I sighed softly and stroked his long black soft hair.

“Oh Gerard…” I whispered. “What are we going to do with you?” He didn’t even respond. Didn’t move a finger or toe. I sighed softly and lied back down next to him and grabbed his hand in mine. I wasn’t leaving his side. Never.

But that was short lived because the next thing I know Gerard’s door was slowly opening. I glanced up and saw Patrick standing there.

“Frank, if you want any of us too we can switch with you.” He told me. I just shook my head.


“No,” I croaked out. I haven’t had anything to drink in awhile so my voice was scratchy. “I’m staying with him until he wakes up. I need to be here.” I had this determination to be with my Gee when he woke up and calm him down.

Patrick slowly nodded. “Okay but anytime you want to change just call Pete, Mikey, or I.”

I nodded in understanding and watched as he walked back upstairs shutting the door silently. I sighed softly and wrapped my arms around Gerard and snuggled close to him.

*Gerard’s POV*

I could feel myself slowly start to come out of my drug induced sleep. I could feel myself be physically calmer than a couple hours ago. I rolled over still not opening my eyes but when I rolled over I rolled into a hard surface I buried my head into it and realized that it was just Frank. I inhaled his scent deeply and buried my head into his chest. I felt his arms tighten around me as he slowly woke up.

“Gee?” He asked in a voice full of sleep. It was very sexy might I add. I hummed in reply. “You awake?” This time I nodded against his chest. He shifted until he could properly see my head and stroke my hair. I slowly cracked my eyes open and looked at him.

“What time is it?” I croaked out licking my dry and chapped lips.

He reached over for his phone and clicked the button for the screen to light up and checked the time. “Um about 11 am.”

I furrowed my eyebrows. “But…when I had my…freak out…it was only 4 pm…what happened?”

I felt Frank tense up beside me. “You don’t remember?”

I shook my head but paused as flashes of memories came back to me. “Um I remember Pete and Patrick coming into my room and telling me about my dad and uncle being out of prison and all that.” I waved my hand around and accidently smacked Frankie in the face. I giggled, “sorry babe.”

He smiled, “It’s okay. Anything else you can recall?”

I furrowed my eyebrows and scrunched up my nose. I could hear Frank say a quiet Awww. “I remember you forcing that pill down my throat and Pete and Patrick holding me down. What did you give me?”

“It was a sleeping pill to help you sleep. And that’s why you were out for 19 hours.”

I whistled. I had never slept for 19 hours straight. “How do you feel?” He asked me.

“Tired, hungry, and thirty.”

“How would you like some coffee, pancakes, and hash browns.” He asked.

I almost squealed but I’m a manly man so I had to hold it in. I nodded gruffly. “That’ll do Frank.”

He just chuckled and ruffled my hair I pouted and slapped has hand away. “Awww not even your hella hot boyfriend can touch your hair?”

I glared and crossed my arms. “No.”

He shook his head and climbed out of my bed walking up the stairs and to the kitchen. I swung my legs out of bed and shuffled after him. I arrived in the kitchen and saw Frank already cooking so I sat down at the kitchen. I watched Frank as he moved his hips back and forth and swung them around. I hate to admit it but it somewhat turned me on, I bit my lip and looked down.

I could smell the sweet aroma of coffee brewing, I grinned. God I would and could never get tired of that smell. I looked around the kitchen and the little counter we have separating the living room from the kitchen and saw Pete and Patrick. Patrick was fast asleep in Pete’s lap. I felt kind of bad because I knew I was hard to deal with and Patrick probably had to deal with me a lot. I frowned slightly. Frank must have noticed my mood because when he set the coffee with pancakes and hashbrowns in front of me he smoothed down my hair.

“What’s wrong honey?” He asked concerned.

“Nothing,” I said picking up my fork and digging into the pancakes. I ate them and nodded my head in appreciation to Frank and his wonderful cooking skills. He smiled in reply and sat across from me nursing his own cup of coffee.

“So what we going to do today?” I asked with a mouthful of hash browns.

He chuckled and shrugged. “Whatever you want to do babe.”

I tilted my head, what DID I want to do? I honestly didn’t know so I just shrugged. “I don’t care.”

Frank sighed. “Well me either, that’s why I asked you!”

I chuckled and finished my food pushing the plate away slightly. “We could-“

But before I could continue I heard a knock on the door. I was going to get up to answer it but Frank put a hand on my arm shaking his head no at me. I huffed, I knew what that meant. He didn’t want me to answer the door in case it was why father and uncle. Well fuck him. I was about to stand up again but my younger flew down the stoars to the door shouting,

“I GOT IT!” I heard the door open and some muffled conversation and then the door slam and Mikey come in with a pale face.

“Mikey?” I asked concerned. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Pete and Patrick walk into the kitchen.

“Umm Gerard…there are people at the door for you.”

I paled and looked at him whispering. “Who?”

“Just go and see.” He walked away slower than before and shuffled up the stairs. I stood up and ignoring everyone’s call, I yanked the door open and immediately paled.

Standing there was my father. My father for whom I haven’t seen in years. The father who originally broke me. He at least gets some credit for that. I just opened and closed my mouth and moved my eyes to the person standing to the right of him. I should have known. It was my uncle with a sadistic grin on his face.

I looked back at my father and saw that his hazel eyes boring into mine. I had to inherit his and not my mothers beautiful green eyes. I started to shake the longer I stood at the door staring at them. My fathers mouth twisted into something that should have resembled a smile but instead looked like something the joker would even have been afraid of.

“Well well well,” He said in his scratchy voice that sounded like nails on a chalk board. I flinched, I was hoping on my short life that I would never have to hear that voice ever again. “It’s been awhile hasn’t it?”

Notes

A little information about my chapters: i dont write them before hand. Literally i write them and post them. I dont edit them, how i write them is how you get them but i might go back through I Don't Love You and edit that.

I've been off school all week. Thanks weather :)

Some feedback would be very appreciated :D