I'm Not Okay

I stared outside the window, watching the snow softly fall to the ground and land on the ground making the drape grey concert sparkling white with untouched snow on it. It was history, the last class of the day. The most boring class might I add. The teacher had the same deep monotone voice that made me want to fall asleep every time I heard it. But luckily it was Friday, so I didn’t have to see Mr. Tanner or hear his voice for two days. But today I got to go Pete and Patrick’s house for my therapy with Patrick. Every Friday I went to their house for my therapy, and spent the night so I could go to group with Patrick the next day. On Friday’s we hardly got anything done, Frank usually came over with us and most of the time we went on double dates or just stayed in and had game nights.

“Mr. Way?” Mr. Tanner asked. I looked up from him, he must of asked me something while I was thinking. Since I got adopted I had taken the Way’s name, it still felt weird to be called that instead of just Gerard.

“Yes?” I asked sheepishly. I felt Frank grip my hand I looked over to him to see him silently laughing at me. I squeezed his hand hard enough to feel his bones scrap against each other. After that I didn’t hear a laugh from him.

“I asked, what year did the cold war start.” He sighed exasperated. That was the same thing all of my teachers did, I have a hard time focusing and listening. It’s not like it’s my fault.

I just stared at him opening and closing my mouth like a fish, I heard a couple of people snicker. I felt my face burn up, I put my head down so that my newly dyed black hair hid my face from the laughs. I heard Mr. Tanner say something to them,, but I was too busy still hiding.

“Gerard,” he sighed out my name. “The cold war started in 1947 and lasted till 1991. If you were paying attention and not daydreaming out the window you wouldn’t have had to embarrass yourself like that.” I watched as he walked away from my desk and back to the front of the room. I could tell my face was still hot. I sighed and looked down at my hands in my lap. I start fiddle with a loose string on my Misfits shirt. I heard something land with a soft plop on my desk. I looked at it to see a folded piece of paper with my name on it. Gee. There was only one person in this class who called me that, it was from Frankie. I unfolded it and read the note.

Don’t take their laughing to heart. I can tell that you are. Hell, I bet half of them had no idea when it started. They just love prying on the ones that are better than them. Stay strong my Geebug.

Love, Frankie xoxo

I smiled down at the note and saw Frank smiling up at me, I smiled back at him.

10 minutes later the bell finally rang for the end of the day, I grabbed my back and raced to the door. I exited the door and walked down to my locker to get the books I needed for the weekend. I put them in my black tattered shoulder bag. I turned around to go down to Pete’s art room when all of a sudden this girl stopped in front of me. I knew who she was immediately. She had bleached blonde hair, a fake tan, her face plastered with makeup and her lips so glossy you could cause a crash if light reflected off of them. She was wearing super tight yoga pants that shower her ass and a low cut shirt that showed her boobs. It was our resident slut, Brittany.

She put a red manicured hand on my chest. I flinched at the touch, after the thing with Cobalt I hated strangers touching me. “You're Gerard right?” She purred in her too thick Jersey accent. I just stared at her. I’ve been going here for 4 months, I’m pretty sure by now she knows who I am especially considering we have math together. She shrugged and started to twirl her finger around my chest. My breathing started to come out choppy.

“Well Gerard, my parents aren’t home this weekend, and I think you’re pretty hot. How about you come over and you can help me study chemistry?” She winked at me with an eye that had so much eyeliner on it that it made her look like a raccoon. She leaned in. I held my breath, I could smell her overpowering perfume. It smelled like lavender, I hated lavender. I preferred the smell of Frank Iero.

I tried to push her away, but she grabbed my wrist. I felt her nails dig into my wrist. I was starting to panic. My breathing was becoming irregular; I was starting to see spots and it felt like a metal band was crushing my ribs. I felt like I was going to throw up. I saw Frank walk up behind her, I stared at him with a plea in my eyes. He must have of understood because he marched up to Brittany. He tapped her on her shoulder. She turned her head with a disgusted look on her face.

“What do you want you emo fag?” she sneered. I glared at her. How dare she call my boyfriend that!

“Yes, you see at least I’m not a slut like you,” Frank taunted back. I had to smile at that, Frank could get under anyone’s skin if he tried hard enough. I saw her gasp and flick her bleached blonde hair behind her shoulder. She finally let go of my wrist and put both of her hands on her hips. I rubbed my wrist staring down at the bloody scratches she made.

“How dare you call me a slut when you take a dick in your ass.” She sneered back at him. He just laughed.

“Bitch, I’m still a virgin unlike who was probably born sucking a dick.” By now a crowd had gathered around and laughed at what Frank said.

She just glared. Frank walked over to me and put his arm around my waist.

“Leave my Gerard alone. Or I will come after you. He’s been through enough as it is.” Brittany stared at us shocked.

“You…and him?” She said with her mouth hanging open. I just laughed at her.

“Yeah. Surprised that you found out your hook up was gay and could care less about you? I bet I’m the first person to deny you.” I taunted her I put my hands on my hips to mimic her. She was about to lunge forward, but Frank pulled me back.

“Lets go Gee, Let’s go to Pete. Patrick is probably waiting for us.” I nodded and frank dragged us away. We walked through the crowd that had formed hearing people call us fags, and Brittany yelling at us to kill ourselves. But we just ignored her, and walked with our arms around each other down to Pete’s room.

Notes

And here is the first chapter for I'm Not Okay!

Please tell me what you think. I had so much fun writing that scene wiht Brittany xD


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