You're Not In This Alone

After Sophie finishes her breakfast I take her into the bathroom and run her a small bath, sitting her in the water while I wash her before I get her rubber duck pa bought for her and her eyes light up when I hold it out to her, making it kiss her nose before I let her take it and she squeals before splashing it around in the water and I let her play for a few minutes before I get her out and dry her off, the duck coming with her and she plays with it as I lay her down and put her diaper on before dressing her and once she's dressed I carry her into the living room and sit her on the floor, sitting nearby and she waves the duck around, putting it in her mouth and babbling to it. Pa comes into the room dressed for work and I smile up at him as he walks over and leans down to kiss my forehead. "What are your plans for today?" He asks and I shrug as I say "Talk to Ry I guess." He frowns and nods before saying "You want me to take little monster with me for a little while?" I think about it for a second before nodding and saying "If you don't mind." "Of course not, I only have paperwork to do so I'm sure we can manage." He turns his attention to Sophie and she lets out a small squeal as she holds her hands out to him and he smiles and scoops her up, settling her on his hip as she waves the duck in his face and he reaches up and squeezes it, making it squeak and her eyes go wide before she squeals and giggles and I smile at how cute she is.

After he leaves with Sophie I get dressed and sit on my bed, staring at my phone for a few long minutes before I pick it up and dial Ryan's number. It rings a few times before he picks up and when he says hello I say "I want to see you but if you speak to me the way you did last night and this morning I will be leaving. Are you at home?" "I'm at the studio." "Ok I'll be there in like fifteen minutes" I tell him before hanging up and I climb off the bed, pulling my shoes on and leaving the apartment. When I get to the studio I let myself in and I see Ryan sitting on the couch with his head tipped back, his eyes closed and when he hears my footsteps his head snaps up and he opens his eyes again. "Hey" he says in a scratchy voice and he looks terrible, his eyes red and the skin under them dark, bruised from my punch and his nose is slightly swollen. "Hi" I say softly as I walk over and stand in front of him. He reaches out and wraps his arms around my stocking covered thighs, leaning forward and resting his head against my lower stomach and I reach down and gently stroke my fingers through his hair. We remain silent for a few minutes before he sits back and looks up at me and I slide my hand around to cup his chin, leaning down closer to look at his nose and bruises. "I'm sorry I hit you" I say softly and he smiles weakly and says "I think I probably had it coming, I don't really remember all too well. And I'm sorry about this morning, you were gone and I knew I did something bad and I was hung over and I just wanted to see you." I nod in understanding and he slides back on the couch, pulling me forward and guiding me into his lap, straddling his legs as his hands slide around my waist and come to rest on my lower back, mine sliding down to rest on his shoulders as we stare into each other's eyes. "You look so beautiful today" he tells me and I feel my face flush and he chuckles softly and leans forward to rest his forehead against mine. "I'm sorry for yesterday, and the night before. I just....things have been so messed up since we lost the baby and I felt like I was losing you too. You've pulled away from me so much and I'm scared. You never want to talk about it or be overly intimate anymore and I don't know what to do." "I'm sorry" I say softly and Ryan shakes his head as he says "I don't want to hear those words from you I just want you to let me in." I sigh and nod slightly before saying "It hurts Ry, it hurts all the time. It's like someone cut into me and took a huge part of me and it's like I'm barely surviving without it. It feels like there's just this big throbbing gaping hole in me and I don't know how to fix it and I just want to curl up and hide from the world until I feel better but I can't. I feel like I failed, like it was my fault this happened, like I'm being punished for something and I'm so scared that you resent me for it and....." "Oh baby, no. This isn't your fault, I promise you I do not blame you for one second." "I'm sorry about the other night too. I do want you Ry, but I'm scared of this happening all over again because I really don't think I could survive it twice." Ryan stares into my eyes for a few long seconds before whispering "I love you so much Ruby and I'm sorry for the way I've been acting. You don't deserve it." "I love you too" I tell him before he leans in and kisses me, his hands clenching in the back of my dress and I kiss back, my arms tightening around his shoulders and we kiss heatedly, our lips only parting for a second at a time as we gulp in air before we're surging towards each other again and after a minute of heated kissing Ryan's hands trail up my back, finding the top of the zipper at the base of my neck and he slowly unzips it, our lips never parting and once he has it open he gently pushes the dress off my shoulders, my arms sliding out of the sleeves and the dress falls down and pools around my waist, Ryan's hands sliding back down to unclasp my bra, removing it from me and dropping it on the floor before he stands up, my legs wrapped around his waist as he turns us around and lays me down on the couch, climbing over me and settling between my parted legs and he breaks the kiss to trails his lips down my neck and I start slowly unbuttoning his shirt as his hands slide up under my dress and grip the top of my stockings, pulling them down and dropping them on the floor with my bra before sliding his hands back under my dress and he starts rubbing me through my panties as he bites down on my sweet spot behind my ear and I can't help but gasp as I buck my hips down against his hand, seeking more friction as my hands stop moving, his shirt clenched in my fists and I pant out "Ry." He pulls away and stares down at me, both of us panting for breath and I see his pupils are blown and when I slide my hand down I feel the large bulge in his pants. We continue to stare into each other's eyes as my hands open his belt and then his jeans, his dick springing free and I glance down to see he wasn't wearing any underwear and I smirk as I start pushing his jeans down off his hips. He springs back into action then and climbs off the couch, quickly removing his clothes and reaching down to remove the rest of mine before climbing back onto the couch but as he does I push him to sit instead as I sit up and shift around, straddling his lap again and lowering myself onto his dick. I give myself a second to adjust before I start to bounce and grind on him and Ryan's hands grip my hips, helping my movements and we work together until we're both panting for breath and tingling from our orgasms. Once we both come down a bit Ryan helps me off his lap, shifting to lay down and pulling me to lay down with him, me half ontop of him laying face down with my head resting on his chest. We remain silent for a while, Ryan's hands softly skimming up and down my bare back as we both regain our breath and I break the silence to say "I'll go." "What?" He asks, panic clear in his voice as his arms tighten around me like he's afraid I'll run. "To LA, I'll go." "Really?" He asks, sounding hopeful but unsure and I push myself up to stare at him as I nod and say "Yeah, I think we need to get away and start over and it's where you want to be and I want to be with you so...." "Thank you" he rushes out as he leans up to kiss me, his hands cupping my cheeks and pulling me back closer to him and I kiss him back, just a soft sweet kiss before we pull apart again and Ryan's smile is blinding.

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