You're Not In This Alone

Ryan pulls me into his arms and I curl my hands into fists around his damp shirt as I sob into his chest. "Ruby baby, Shh it's alright, we'll figure this out but baby I need you to calm down and breathe" he tells me softly as I start to sob louder. His hand gently rubs up and down my back and the longer we stand there the colder I get and I start to shiver and Ryan removes his jacket, wrapping it around my shoulders and the heat from his body and his scent envelop me and I sigh as I feel myself calm down. "Thanks" I murmur out as his hands rub up and down my arms outside the jacket, trying to warm me up further and the rain starts to ease off so he takes my hand and we start to walk back towards my apartment. When we get there we are both soaked, the rain having picked up again and we brush past dad and pa, going into my room and grabbing dry clean clothes, Ryan having left a bag of stuff in my room and I drag him into the bathroom, locking the door behind us. I strip off and step into the shower, leaving the curtain pulled back so Ryan can step in too and once he's in he wraps his arms around me and pulls me into his chest. "Babe I promise I'll take care of you no matter what" he tells me and I pull back, leaning against the wall as we stare into each other's eyes. Ryan slowly reaches out and his hand gently rests over my lower stomach and I slide my hand down to rest over his. "I don't know what I'm meant to do" I choke out as my eyes well with tears again. "We're having it right?" Ryan asks, sounding unsure for the first time since we found out. "What if it's not yours?" I ask, voicing one of my greatest fears. Ryan's face falls like the thought hadn't occurred to him until now. "Oh" he says and I say "I'm sorry I just....I want it to be yours but..." "It's ok. Even if it's not mine, I'll still be there for you to raise it with you." "Really?" "Of course, I love you Ruby." I burst into tears again as I launch myself forward into his chest and I sob out "I don't deserve that." "Shh babe you deserve only the best and of course I would stand by you, I'd never abandon you like that." I slowly calm down again and we pull ourselves out of the shower and dry off, redressing in our dry clothes before we leave the bathroom and go hand in hand into the living room where dad and pa are cuddled up on the couch watching tv. "Hey baby girl, you feeling ok? How did it go at the doctors?" Pa asks and I clench Ryan's hand tighter as I choke out "I'm pregnant" the words passing my lips for the first time and feeling incredibly weird. "Ha very funny" dad says before his face turns murderous as he sees I'm serious. "What?" He snaps as he stands from the couch and I step infront of Ryan, putting myself between them and I say "Stop dad, please." Pa reaches up to grab his hand, tugging him back down and dad sits back on the couch, pa's hand still wrapped around his wrist, holding him there. "Ruby, are you sure?" Pa asks and I nod, biting my lip to stop it from trembling. Pa lets out a sigh and opens his arms to me, his casts finally having come off so he's fully mobile again and I rush over, gently sitting in his lap and laying back against his chest. "Baby girl I know you're scared right now, I can see it all over your face and whatever you decide to do I'm by your side, no matter what but be sure what you decide is your decision, don't let anyone else make it for you. I love you Rubes and whatever you decide I'll respect." I turn my head and bury it in his neck as I say "I'm scared daddy, I'm not ready for this and I don't know who's it is and what if it's not Ryan's, I think that would kill me and I'm so scared he's going to run." "Baby if he runs he's a fucking idiot but you'd be better off without someone like that in your life. You'll always have me and dad baby, we'll never leave you alone with this." I nod into his neck as I cling tighter to him and I feel dad rubbing his hand on my leg as pa gently rocks me side to side.

After I climb off pa's lap dad pulls me in for a cuddle and when we separate Ryan stands from the other couch and takes my hand, leading me into my bedroom and we lay together on the bed, Ryan spooning up behind me and resting his hands over my stomach. We lay in silence for a while, Ryan's lips gently pressing to the back of my shoulder over and over until my stomach growls, having not eaten all day. "I'll get you some food babe, you just relax" Ryan tells me and I roll over onto my back as he climbs off the bed, leaning back over and pressing a soft kiss to my stomach before he leaves the room and I close my eyes, feeling myself grow surprisingly exhausted all of a sudden and I'm asleep before he comes back.

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