You're Not In This Alone

GERARD'S POV

I immediately regret my outburst to Ruby's sudden anger because I can see the concern and curiosity written on her face and I know she wants to know. I take a deep breath as she slides back over to me and her hands come up to gently cup my face. "What happened?" She asks and I feel my bottom lip start to quiver as the memories of that day so long ago flood my mind. I take a few deep shaky breaths, trying to compose myself and Ruby's face crumples in concern, her own eyes welling with tears. "Don't cry baby" I whisper, reaching up to grab her hand and remove it from my face, holding it between both of mine. We stare at each other for a few minutes, both of us coming down from the edge of a major emotional breakdown before I shift around, sitting back against the headboard and holding my arm out, Ruby sliding over to curl into my side while I wrap my arm around her. "When your dad and I first got together we were staying with my ex and we ended up in this completely fucked up three way relationship and we were destroying each other. My ex proposed to me infront of your dad and he completely blew up and then when I said no my ex blew up and the house got trashed. After we moved past that we were still just caught in this completely destructive situation and one day my ex hurt me really badly and your dad stabbed him trying to protect me. They were going to take your dad away from me so we ran away to New York and we got married and found jobs and an apartment and we had finally escaped. When we went back to Jersey to get my stuff from the house I went alone to pack up my stuff and I thought the house was empty but when I went in my ex was there with another man I knew, who was a gang leader and really mentally unstable and just dangerous. They were high and drunk and they held me at gunpoint and threatened your dad and uncle Mikey if I didn't do what they wanted and they...." I trail off, tears falling down my cheeks. Ruby looks into my eyes and she's crying too. "They held me down and raped me with a pistol and then my ex raped me while the other guy held me at gunpoint before he took his turn and when your dad found us he thought I was dying and he nearly got himself killed trying to save me." "Oh" is all that escapes Ruby's mouth as she cries and my own tears keep falling as I pull her into my chest. We hold each other and cry until we have no tears left and when we pull apart she says "I hate that they've made me so afraid of everything." "I know baby girl, but it passes. I promise you it does." She nods and sniffles before saying "I don't know what I did, why would they..." "Baby girl nothing you did could make someone do that to you, you did nothing to deserve that" I tell her, cupping her face in my hands and forcing her to look at me. She stares into my eyes and she looks so broken and it makes my heart ache.

After we drag ourselves out of bed I take Ruby into the kitchen and make us coffee, neither of us confident we could stomach real food. "How long?" She asks and I look over at her. "How long what?" "How long until I'm not afraid anymore? How long until my skin doesn't crawl and my stomach doesn't churn? How long until I can sleep and not see what they did behind my eyelids?" "I can't answer that for you baby, everyone is different. I still have nightmares about it" I tell her and her face drops. "I just wanna be ok again." "I know Rubes but something that really helped me was talking to someone about it, a complete stranger that I could say whatever I wanted to and not fear their judgement. I'm gonna make you an appointment with a therapist ok?" Her face screws up and I quickly continue. "Please, just one session and if you don't think it helps I won't make you go again but baby girl trust me, it really does help." Ruby looks at me for a long second before nodding and saying "Ok." We spend the rest of the day together, getting out of the house and walking through the park before going to a diner and eating, Ruby making a decent attempt at eating after a lot of begging from me. After we eat I ask if she wants to go see Frank and she freezes up. "Oh Rubes no no he won't be there I promise. He won't be there ever again." She looks at me confused before saying "Ok, fine" and we grab coffee before heading over to the store. When we walk in Frank is sitting behind the counter and he smiles over at us when we come in. "There's my beautiful family" he exclaims as he comes over and hugs us both. "I was just thinking about how much I missed you guys" he tells us and Ruby rolls her eyes before walking over and sitting behind the counter where Frank had been. "How is she?" Frank asks me quietly and I shrug. "Ok I think. She ate almost a whole meal so that's something." Frank smiles and says "Good." "Hey I gotta take care of something real quick ok, I'll be back in like ten minutes." Frank frowns but nods and kisses me before I turn and leave the store, leaving Ruby with him. I walk two blocks down before stepping into an alleyway and pulling out a second pre paid cell phone from my pocket and dialling the only number in the contacts. "Yes" the rough voice answers and I say "Is it all set?" "Yeah it's all set, it's going down tonight." "Good, make it as painful as you can" I say before hanging up and slipping the phone back into my pocket and heading back towards the store, a small smirk on my face.

Notes

What do you think Gee is up to?