All of the signs were there. I was just too stupid to acknowledge them.

I started running towards the bridge as fast as I possibly could go. There was a spot right underneath it where my mom used to take me on our walks. It was the only place where I felt alone in the world. The only place where I felt close to her.

Slipping under the guard rail, I slid slowly down the slope. The dirt and gravel crunched under my shoes, the twigs and vines scratched at my skin. I finally made it down the slope and arrived under the bridge. I crawled my way up another cement slope and hugged my knees, letting out a few screams and sobs. I stayed like that for maybe an hour before Gerard showed up.

"Taylor? I know you're here so you might as well just answer me."
I rolled my eyes and sighed. "What do you want?"
He turned around towards my voice and climbed up to me. "I wanna talk to you."
"About what?" I snapped, sniffling.
"Look," he sighed once he sat down next to me. "This is just as much of as surprise to me as it is to you. Your mom was never good with keeping someone up to date on information."
"You got that right," I scoffed, kicking a rock with the toe of my shoe.

We were silent for a while. Until he suddenly started crying. I looked over at him and immediately felt pity for him. I mean, I know his whole story. How he was depressed and turned to drugs and alcohol to numb the pain. How he had gotten sober and still struggles with the remnants of that dark cloud. But I never thought that I would get to witness him break down.

"It's gonna be hard" he sniffled, "but I want to do this. I missed out on so much of your life and I want to be there for the rest of it."
I looked over at him, his eyes all red and puffy from crying. I sighed and shook my head. "I appreciate the gesture but..."
"I'm not saying I want to replace your dad, Taylor, but I'm your father. Don't I get a chance too?"
He had a point. I sighed again and nodded. "You're right and you do. But I'm not ready to just throw my dad out the window and start calling you Daddy, if that's what you want..."
He shook his head like a small child. "Of course not. Not right away. We'll start off as friends if that's what you want."
"Friends sounds just fine."

He started to relax a little more, leaning back against the wall. I pulled out a cigarette and lit it up and sighed, breathing out the smoke through my nose. He coughed slightly and I remembered that he had quit smoking a few months ago. I blew the smoke the other direction and apologized. He just laughed and said it was okay. Eventually, we made our way to a late night coffee shop and ordered the same drink. I started to tell him about my life at school, my art, my music... Soon it felt like all we were talking about was me and I felt oddly embarrassed. We ended up on the topic of my mom and I suddenly got quiet, as if talking about her would bring up bad luck or something.

He got on and dropped the subject, linking his arm with mine as we trekked back to his parents' house in the cold rain.

Notes