The Fantasy

Frank awoke it his bed, screaming as he sat bolt upright. A cold sweat dripping from his face as his hands gripped tightly onto the bed sheet, struggling to breathe. Patrick quickly woke up, sitting up as he cupped Frank’s face with his hands, looking him straight in the eye. “Frank it’s ok, you were just having a bad dream” Patrick reassured, trying to calm him down. Frank didn’t listen. His chest felt tight as tears streamed from his eyes; the feeling was back again, stronger this time.

“I... I...saw him. I saw him. He... he’s coming to get me, he’s coming back!” He spluttered, the terror in his eyes scaring Patrick as he held him close. “Deep breaths now ok” Patrick said slowly, trying not to lose his nerve. Frank took three deep breaths, counting to three with Patrick as his breathing steadied. They sat there in the dark for a moment, Patrick holding him close as he kissed him on the forehead; feeling his body shaking with fear. “He’s coming back” He whimpered, tears trailing from his reddened eyes as he cried into Patrick’s chest. “What are you talking about?” Patrick asked softly, stroking his boyfriend’s hair. Frank shook his head, pulling away from Patricks warm embrace, wiping the tears from his eyes as he took deep breath. He glanced outside and up at the moon, it was a beautiful night tonight; clear skies and a full moon that shone down through the windows, illuminating the couple in its romantic light.

Patrick said something, perhaps some words of comfort but Frank wasn’t listening; his mind drifting back to the memories of Gerard. How the abuse ruined his relationships with everyone around him, how he tried so hard to please him, to make him happy only to get abused, tortured and tormented; pushing to the verge of destruction.

“My ex was my school teacher” He said suddenly, forcing Patrick into an uncomfortable silence. His hands tightly squeezed the bed sheets, sighing as he turned back to Patrick who sat god smacked on the bed; his mouth hung open in shock as he found himself unable to speak. “I didn’t want to tell you… because I thought it would affect us. I thought you’d think of me as some cheap whore and I’m sorry for that. But its happening again, the bad dreams, its all coming back and I’m terrified Pat” He continued shakily. “That’s why I was in the police station all those years ago. He…he abused me. H…He made me do things I didn’t want to do and made me feel like I was nothing. For a long time I believed it, when he was put in prison I wanted to kill myself” He said, taking his watch off to reveal vivid scars upon his wrist.

The sight made Patricks eyes water as he tore himself away from it, he couldn’t believe what he was hearing. How could someone do such a thing to anyone. Suddenly, everything clicked into place; his shy attitude, his lack of confidence and body dismorphia, the way he flinched every time he moved to quick…it all made sense. A wave of anger washed over him as he curled his hands into fists, if he was here now, if he had the unfortunate moment of running into this pathetic excuse of a human he would kill him. He would kill him without a second thought.

Patrick lent forward, taking Frank in his arms as he broke down; sobbing into his boyfriend’s chest. “Im so so sorry this happened to you” He whispered, trying to stop himself from crying. Your that kid from the art room… his words echoing through his mind. If only he had stopped for a moment, gone in there and maybe put a stop to it. He could have saved him from all this. “I’m so sorry I couldn’t protect you… I love you Frank” He added, his voice choked with sadness as the pair sat alone in the darkness.

Frank sniffed, drying his eyes as he gazed up at his boyfriend. “It’s not your fault” He mumbled, wrapping his arms around Patrick’s waist, not ever wanting to let go. Patrick glanced down at him, making sure to catch his eye and show he was serious. “Look at me” he said, catching Frank’s attention as he struggled to maintain the strength in his voice; right now all he wanted to do was cry, he hated hearing the man he loved go through all that alone. “I promise I’ll never hurt you, I’ll never put you through what he did ok? You mean the absolute world to me and I promise I’ll keep you safe” He added, cupping Frank by the face as he flashed him a watery grin.

Kissing him lightly on the lips, the pair sat in the dark for a while, not moving from each others arms as time silently ticked away the endless minuets, hours, seconds. In a way, Frank felt better, as though the weight of the world had finally been lifted. He didn’t have to go through this alone anymore. He finally found someone who he could share his pain with, who understood him, who loved him no matter what.
“Pat?”

“Yeah?”

“I love you too” He replied, feeling Patrick squeeze him tighter as he kissed him on his forehead. He no longer felt afraid of Gerard anymore. He didn’t have that power over him anymore. He could finally be happy, happy with the man he loved.

What more could he want?

Notes

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