The Fantasy

Frank nodded as he took another sip of wine. He and Gerard could sit here and talk all night but Gerard told him he wanted them to get some sleep. “I think we’ve all had enough for now” He said, beckoning at the glass in Frank’s hand, but it was him the one who looked as if he had had enough; his face was tired and drawn, and Frank thought he looked physically ill. “You alright Gee?” Frank asked, watching him intently. Gerard nodded his face pale as he shakily placed his 3rd cup of coffee on the coffee table. There was a moment of quiet while they looked at each other.


Frank sighed, walking off into the kitchen and flicked the kettle on. Gerard slowly followed, his eyes fixed guiltily upon the floor. Frank was chatting away about something as he busied himself making coffee but Gerard wasn’t listening; his mind drifting back to the memories of his father. How the abuse ruined his relationships with everyone around him, how he tried so hard to protect Mikey from the horrific things he said and did to him.

“My dad knew” He said suddenly, forcing Frank into an uncomfortable silence. His hands tightly squeezed the counter, sighing as he turned back at Gerard who stood leaning against the door frame. “I came home one day from school and he just knew about us. Did I ever tell you what he used to say to me when he was mad?” He continued.

“What?”

“You’re a faggot. That’s what he used to say. You’re a dirty little faggot” He laughed and shivered at the same time. “He wanted me dead, Frank. I mean... he’d hurt me before, but the last time... he was different. I loved him. I did love him but...” He looked at him, perhaps wanting Frank to say it for him. He wouldn’t; it was something he was going to have to say for himself, sooner or later. “I hated him, too” He sighed, reaching out and gently taking hold of Frank’s hands. “I never told that to anyone before” He added quietly. Frank pulled him closer, seeing the guilt swim in his lover’s eyes was heartbreaking. He inched closer to his lips, a sympathetic smile spread across his face as he locked eyes with Gerard.

“Say it again.”

“No, I...”

“Go on. It’ll hurt, but maybe it’s festered in there long enough. Say it” Frank urged, his soft voiced lulling Gerard into the sense of security he felt around him. He sighed, closing his eyes, trying to hold back the tears. “I hated my dad” He said and began to sob helplessly. “I hated him; I was terrified of him Frank. I hated him, I was never good enough for him and I hated him, I did but I loved him too and I hated myself for it”. Frank pulled him in, wrapping his arms tightly around him. Feeling Gerard’s arms slide around him in a panicky grip, his tears wet on the side of Frank’s neck. He suddenly became very conscious of Gerard’s body, his slender frame and muscles that he kept hidden from view. He moved his torso away from his slightly, almost not wanting him to feel the erection he was getting.... but he moved against him again.


Gerard turned his eyes gravely down to Frank’s, brushing a lock of dark out of his eyes; sniffing as his lips turned into a trembling smile. “I need something now” He said. “What’s that?” Frank asked quietly, his head moving closer to Gerard’s again. “I need you to kiss me” He purred. Frank smiled, pressing his lips tenderly against his boyfriends. His kiss was warm and firm and sweet, feeling Gerard's hips moving against him... away... and then against him again. When his hips moved away a second time, he plunged both of his hands into Gerard’s hair and moved against him. Gerard felt him growing hard, uttering a small gasp and placed his face against the side of his boyfriends neck; Frank feeling his tears on his skin, warm and secret.


“Come on” He purred, his fingers entwining with Frank’s as he led him slowly to the bedroom
*****
“Oh God... D-don’t stop,” Gerard moaned desperately, threading his fingers through Frank’s hair. Frank looked up at him through his black fringe with innocent eyes as he took him even further down his throat. He inhaled sharply, almost choking on nothing but air as the waves of pleasure coursed through his body, holding Frank’s head firmly in place as he pushed him over the edge “Ugh, yes… Fuck yes” He cried out, biting down hard as he finished in the back of his boyfriends throat; his hand grabbing tightly hold of Frank’s hair, feeling him squirm in his grip.

He stood there for a moment, his head resting against the bedroom wall as tried to catch his breath. He closed his eyes, feeling Frank slip away from him. “Sounded like someone enjoyed themselves” Frank giggled as he buttoned up his shirt. He grinned, looking over at Gerard as he quickly put on his tie; he was staring up at the ceiling, his face emotionless as his fingers curled into fists by his side. His smile faded. “Gee are you ok?” He asked worriedly as he reached out to touch his face. Suddenly he snapped back to life, his eyes locked venomously onto Frank as he slapped his hand away. He quickly pulled on his jeans, refusing to meet Franks eye as he stood there, almost dumfounded by what had just happened. “Gee stop, just.... tell me what’s wrong” He pleaded softly. Gerard said nothing, running his fingers through his matted hair as he pushed his way past Frank and outside into the hallway.

Frank went after him, grabbing him by the arm and pulling him back. “Get off me! You need to stop making me do this” He sneered. Frank shook his head, almost amazed by his response. “What the fuck are you on about? I love you, I wouldn’t make you do anything if you didn’t want to” He replied softly, watching as Gerard’s cautious eyes swiftly scanned around the house; they were completely alone. Gerard smirked, flashing Frank a twisted sneer as he suddenly lashed out, grabbing him by the hair. Frank cried out struggling in his grip as a pain shot through his head, hot tears streaming down his face as the man he loved yanked harder; pulling him closer to his face. “You’re pathetic you know that, a dirty little queer” He growled, listening as Frank whimpered, struggling to escape his clutches. “I’m sorry Gee, please I’m sorry” He begged, looking up into Gerard’s scornful face. “And you wonder why I never want to be seen with you” Gerard hissed in his face.

Frank winced as he felt Gerard’s hand tighten in his hair. He wished he hadn’t angered him like this; He didn’t understand why he treated him this way. It wasn’t him making him like this was it? Maybe he had pushed him into things; maybe he just got overly excited and jumped into things too soon.

Guilt began to cloud his thoughts, fresh tears welling in his eyes as he heard himself whisper “I love you Gerard”. Gerard screamed, twisted Frank’s hair as he shoved him into the wall. He staggered back, watching a horrified Frank stare back at him with frightened eyes as blood began to pour from his nose. He cupped his nosed with his hand, tears trailing down his cheeks. Gerard ran his fingers through his hair, turning his back on Frank as he began to wander out of the house. He glanced back; Frank sat crumpled in the corner, sobbing as he tried to stop the blood which was now heavily streaming down his face and onto his clothes. “Clean yourself up, your just an embarrassment” He muttered before leaving him alone as he slammed the door behind him.

Notes

Poor Frank :/

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