Mine?Yours.Always?Forever.

Frank’s POV
I woke up at around 4 in the morning and I looked up at Gerard seeing his eyes already on me. I’m pretty sure we both flushed a deep red. I moved up a bit to press my lips to the soft skin of his forehead. He laughed and held me tighter. At one point his breathing evened out and I knew he was asleep, I decided to take this time to truly appreciate his beauty. I pulled back slightly, careful not to wake him and my heart almost stopped. How could one be so perfect and not even realize? I start to feel really creepy for staring at him in his sleep, so I snuggle myself tightly into his chest and go back to sleep.
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We got to school and went our separate ways, we only have classes together on week 2 (it’s now week 1). He promised to wait for me at lunch and I gave him my number just in case. I told him to take care of himself, and to scream if he needs help. As I was walking out of Geography, I saw him talking to some girl; she’s in my drama class. I think her name is Lindsey. She’s actually like the biggest whore I’ve ever seen in my life, among boys and girls. She was wearing a skirt that only just covered her bum, a red crop vest with a black crop top under it, a loose black tie, chunky black heels and her hair was tied into two messy pigtails. I can’t even lie here, she’s very very pretty. But the way Gerard looked so interested when he was talking to her, that look in his eyes and that stupid crooked smile that leaves me breathless every single time. Suddenly I felt a strong pain in my chest. It felt like someone was stabbing me right in the heart. Jealousy. Why can’t that be me? Why can’t he look at me that way? Smile at me that way? I want it that way. But, I can’t have it that way can I? No. If he wants to be with Lindsey, then I have to be the supportive kind of friend he needs. I don’t know how long I was staring at him, but at one point he looked over her shoulder and saw me. He stopped talking, stopped smiling, he just kept mouthing ‘no’ at me. I turned on my heel and walked away, absolutely furious. I don’t even know why. Was it because I actually thought someone like him could feel anything for someone like ME? He probably just felt sorry for me, was just trying to be nice, make me feel like less of a loser. How could I ever think someone would even look at me twice with anything less than disgust, I’m ugly. Fat. Gay. An all-around disgrace. No wonder my mom just does everything in her power to stay away from home, so she never has to see my face. No one really knows, (I have no friends to tell anyway), but I cut and purge. My arms and hipbones are lined with cuts and I have a feeling that now it’s just going to get worse.
______________________________________________________________________________He came over again that day and every single other day this whole month. He basically lives with me now and he seems a lot happier. But I have never been worse. I’ve hit an all-time low since he’s started hanging out with Lindsey. He hasn’t abandoned me completely but sometimes when he smiles at me it doesn’t quite reach his eyes, like he’s forcing it. Every day more cuts find their way to my skin and anything that passes my lips is thrown back up within the hour. We don’t cuddle to sleep anymore; we stay as far apart as possible. Sometimes I can feel his eyes burn into the back of my head but I just pretend to be asleep. I can’t face him now. There’s no longer a mix of kindness and sadness in his eyes, now when I look at him he wears a cold, angry and vacant expression. I have no idea why or how he could be mad at me, we haven’t spoken in over a month, and it’s killing me inside. He can’t know how much of a mess I am. I’m meant to be staying strong for him, right? I’ve never felt so empty in my life. We’ve been friends for two months now and it’s actually funny how one boy can just unintentionally drain the life out of me. Every day that me and him get further apart, him and Lindsey get closer. Damn, this boy will be the end of me.

Notes

I don't hate Lindsey, I actually love her so much, same with Brendon and Ryan, I like worship Panic! At the Disco. Anywayyy just a peek into Frank's mind :) If this story gets too shitty then tell me so I can fix it or stop writing okay? But yeah thanks for reading I lovee you guys :').

Neina x