You're So Dark

Gerard realized what he was doing and he moved away quickly and ran into the bathroom. Pathetic, nevertheless, but who could blame him?

Frank just stood there wide-eyed, staring at the wall in front of him and trying to convince himself that the thing that had just happened wasn’t real. He knew it was irrational, immoral and illegal. He curled up on his bed, his stomach making somersaults as he was trying to make himself go to sleep and forget everything. He didn’t know what to think, the rational side of him screaming ‘pervert’ at his emotional one and making a huge noise inside his head. He eventually did fall asleep, to the sound of the shower running and the train gliding across the railway.

The next two days went by uneventfully, none of them making conversation unless strictly needed, never making eye contact. Gerard missed his teacher the way he’d used to be before he came along and screwed everything up, and now he was in the state of cursing all over himself internally.

The evening they came into the hotel was really stormy and Gerard barely fell asleep in his lonely room; simply wishing the scenario had turned out differently than it had the other night.

*

When Gerard woke up and walked into the living room of the suite Mr. Iero was nowhere in plain sight. He rubbed his eyes and scanned the room, seeing a Dunkin Donuts coffee cup on the kitchen countertop. He smiled at that. Even though Mr. Iero would probably never mention what had happened the other night again, he’d still thought of him when he was out getting coffee. That was a pleasant thought for Gerard. He took it as something that said ‘it’s alright, but we are never going to talk about it again’ and he was fine with that. Kind of. Well, not really, but he was happy Mr. Iero didn’t hate him anyway.

“Morning,” the door opened and his teacher walked in, two bags with donuts in his one hand and his own coffee cup in the other.

“Hello,” was all Gerard could croak out.

Mr. Iero smiled, but he didn’t look him in the eyes. He hadn’t been doing that for days now. That hurt, but Gerard told himself to grit his teeth and survive. Rejection is always hard, he tried to make himself believe, and this is just a stupid teacher-crush. “We have to go in an hour,” he threw Gerard a bag with a donut, “Will you be able to get ready by there?”

“Yeah,” he said quietly and took a sip of the coffee, “Thanks for all this,” he said while glancing at the breakfast in front of him.

“No problem,” he said and left the room. Gerard was left alone again and he’d never felt smaller in his entire life.

*

“Gerard Way,” the deep voice called and Gerard had to walk towards the small gray-haired man who was smiling at him widely. He was holding a piece of paper and a small box in his hands, waiting for Gerard to come near. “I’m going to be really short, since I’ve only got one question. So, tell me, Gerard, where do you get the inspiration for your poems?”

“Uhm,” Gerard took the things in his hand, “I’m not entirely sure.”

“A girl, maybe? Are you in love, boy?”

“I don’t-”

“Oh, come on, there’s only us and your teacher here, we won’t tell,” he and his colleague laughed, while Gerard and Mr. Iero stayed silent. He shot a glance at his teacher who just looked at his feet.

“It’s really not a girl, sir,” Gerard said honestly.

“But you must be in love to write poetry like that, how is it not a girl?”

“I don’t think Gerard is comfortable talking about it, Mr. Eliot,” Mr. Iero chimed in.

“Oh, come on, Frank, we are all friends here. Now tell me the girl’s name.” The man smiled widely at Gerard again.

“It’s not a girl,” Gerard felt completely defeated and since his day really wasn’t going well, he just wanted to make it end.

“So what, it’s a boy?” Said the man in a joking voice, but the amused expression immediately disappeared from his face when he saw the look Gerard was treating him with. “What, you’re gay?”

“Gerard and I have to go,” Mr. Iero said before Gerard could answer and he said swift goodbyes as he dragged Gerard out of the building.

“What was that for?” Gerard looked at him confusedly.

“Nobody is going to treat you like that, not on my watch,” Frank hissed at him and dared to look into his eyes for the first time in days. Gerard winced visibly at the sudden eye-contact, but he kept quiet as they took a cab to the hotel.

As soon as he closed the door to their suite, Frank locked himself inside his room and didn’t come out until nightfall. He’d had much to think about, and he had to make himself decide what he would do. Everything was up to him now. Gerard had made his feelings clear and left him a choice; even though he probably hadn’t expected anything from Frank.

The moral side of Frank was yelling ‘no’ while his insides were yelling ‘yes’ and he had to think about what that would mean for everything else in his life. It would probably cost him his job eventually. Even some of his friends, maybe. Members of his family. But it would bring him happiness, wouldn’t it? Maybe.
He couldn’t decide, his mind was going crazy and he was just about to go into the bathroom and throw up his insides so they shut up already and stop making the thing he had to do so hard to do; when his thought got interrupted by a knock on the door.

“Mr. Iero?” Gerard’s small voice said. “You haven’t gone out of there since this morning, and you haven’t eaten anything and I’m worried.”

It took Frank ten seconds to answer. “It’s unlocked.”

The door opened with a squeal and Gerard’s raven head peeked inside, carrying a small bag of what seemed like bagels. “Here,” he handed it over to him, “I was out to get coffee since there isn’t any in the kitchen so I got you this on the way here.”

“Thank you,” Frank’s heart literally stopped when he realized how cute it actually was, the fact that Gerard got worried about him. Gerard was about to walk out of the room when Frank realized he didn’t really give a damn about anything anymore but the fact there was someone out there who wasn’t Ray who actually cared about him. And, just by mere accident, he cared about Gerard, too. “Hey, Gerard?”

“Yeah?” He turned around.

“Do you want a bagel?”

“I’ve just had one-”

“Oh, just shut up and sit here with me,” Frank sighed and Gerard blushed intensely before stumbling down on the floor beside Frank. He moved as far away as he could, but Frank had other things in his mind. After he finished the bagel, of course, he was hungry as fuck.

They sat like that in silence for a while, Frank moving onto cigarettes when he’d eaten, until Gerard’s croaked voice broke the silence. “I’m sorry for the other day, I just-“

“It’s mutual, Gerard,” Frank said in all seriousness, blowing the smoke in front of him. Damn, he didn’t know he’d end up being as fucked up as Gerard was.

He heard Gerard’s breathing stop, but he didn’t bother to make anything out of it.

“It- it is?” Gerard sounded like he was about to cry.

“Yes,” Frank sighed, taking a drag from his cigarette. “You just… I don’t know. I just can’t keep my mind off you. And I know I’m going to hell for that. Fuck hell, I’m going to jail.”

Gerard laughed, for the first time in the last two days, and boy did that sound good to Frank’s ears. “Same.”

“You’re not going to jail,” Frank retorted.

“But I can’t keep my mind off you,” Gerard pointed out.

Frank chuckled and blew his last smoke into the air, before squishing the cigarette against the bottom of the ashtray beside him. “You know what’s the good thing in all this?” Frank bit his lip.

“Yeah?”

“You get to stop calling me Mr. Iero,” Frank smiled and made eye-contact.

Gerard blushed a bit, his heart was pounding like a fucking Swiss clock. “Frank.”

“Holy fuck,” Frank smirked and closed his eyes.

“What?” Gerard grinned.

“That’s Way better,” he laughed.

Gerard rolled his eyes. “Can I try something…?”

Frank quirked an eyebrow. “You mean…” he let himself trail off before he gently grabbed a hold of Gerard’s chin, staring into his eyes before he kissed him. At first it was much softer than before, just a mere brush of the lips, before they started moving together; slowly but steadily. Frank moved away a few moments later, Gerard blushing as fuck again.
“If it’s weird…”

“No,” Gerard said a little bit too fast. “I mean… I wouldn’t want it any other way.”

“Oh,” Frank looked down and smiled.

“I’m just wondering… why the fuck me, you know? You can literally have anyone you want, the whole school, including some teachers has the hots for you.” Gerard suddenly felt really self-conscious.
Frank didn’t say anything for a short while, but he grabbed Gerard’s hand and placed their intertwined fingers on his thigh. “You’re just really… you, y’know?”

“No shit, I thought I was Misha Collins.” Gerard rolled his eyes, but shuffled a bit closer anyway.

"There are similarities,” Frank grinned. “No, but seriously. not that way. You just intrigue me.”

“I don't care, he's hot, okay?" Gerard raised an eyebrow.

"Don't avoid the subject."

Gerard blushed again.

“You blush a lot, too.”

“You give me a lot of reasons to.”
Frank grinned.
Gerard looked into the direction of their hands, resting on Frank’s thigh. The tattoos there seemed to fit perfectly when laced with Gerard’s spidery fingers, something he thought he could only dream of a few days ago. He started crossing his thumb over the skin between Frank’s thumb and his index finger, tracing the pattern of a small tattoo there.

“You really like them, don’t you?” Frank smirked.

“Yeah,” Gerard dreamily said. “I love them.”

“It all makes sense now, y’know,” Frank smiled.

“What?”

“Just… stuff.”

“Frank.”

“Oh lord,” Frank smirked at the sound of his name coming from Gerard’s lips. He always rolled the R in some weird way, but it was really cute. “It’s just that, I’ve never thought this could be real.”

“Tell me about it,” Gerard sighed and rested his head on Frank’s shoulder.

“I like this,” Frank admitted.

“Me too,” Gerard chuckled.

They stayed there for a long period of time, Gerard watching Frank smoke and making pointless chit chats. He met Frank in a whole new light; he wasn’t his teacher anymore, but just some guy who Gerard happened to like. At one moment Gerard fetched his phone from his pocket, to see the time.

“Fuck, it’s like 4am.”

“Bedtime?” Frank blew smoke out of his mouth.

“Yeah.”

Frank flicked the butt of his cigarette into the ashtray and stood up. He reached a hand out to help Gerard up.

“I feel like I’m going to wake up in the morning and all this won’t be real anymore,” Gerard said when he stood up.

Frank sighed and smiled widely. “Let’s make it a better dream then, eh?”

Gerard smirked and wrapped his arms around Frank’s neck, almost shivering when Frank’s enveloped his waist. He lowered his lips onto Frank’s gently, slowly.

Frank smiled into the kiss simply because Gerard was so timid and adorable. He deepened the kiss by pressing his lips harder onto Gerard’s, who got the message and softly licked his lower lip. Frank smirked and granted access to Gerard’s tongue into his mouth. It got intense soon, their tongues working together in perfect synchronization, caressing each other with severe passion. They had to break apart for air soon, their foreheads linked and their panting heavy as they were gazing into each other’s eyes. Gerard grinned widely before Frank smiled and kissed him again. No lust from a few moments ago, just soft lip-brushing.

“Good night,” Gerard smiled and walked out of Frank’s room and into his own, biting his lip shyly.

“‘Night,” Frank returned the smile before walking over to his bed and jumping in. He didn’t bother pulling the covers all the way up, it was a reasonably warm night, unlike the last one. He closed his eyes, trying to fall asleep. He couldn’t bring himself to, though; the thoughts of everything that had just happened were haunting his mind and making it hard to sleep. He would find himself grinning at random times, even though he could swear he wasn’t thinking about Gerard at that moment. A while later he heard some shuffling around the living room since his door wasn’t completely shut, but he was still trying to sleep so he didn’t pay any attention to it. Until something got into his room, that is.
His eyes shot open and he saw Gerard opening the door awkwardly, which sent him into giggles.

“Uhm,” he bit his lip, “I can’t sleep. I thought I’d- I don’t know. I should get back to bed.”

“Come here,” Frank motioned him to the empty spot on his bed, and he crept inside. He looked too awkward to do anything else than pull the covers over him, so Frank decided not to push it. They stood like that in silence for a few minutes, until Gerard fucked his mind off again and decided that he couldn’t have cared less.
He snaked his arm around Frank’s stomach and laid his head on his chest. Frank, unfortunately, wasn’t asleep so he chuckled again. “Has anyone ever told you how cute you are?”

“Shut up,” Gerard beamed.

“Never,” Frank grinned and kissed his forehead, closing his eyes and drifting into sleep.

Notes

I ain't really proud of this one, gotta admit - I blame Sleeping With Sirens [joke don't go batshit on me I love them k]

But I'm forgiven since I mentioned Misha.

ALSO EW SO MUCH FLUFF, HOLD ME WHILE I PUKE

I should probably go to bed now, it's kinda 3:45am and I haven't slept normally in... a long time anyway

If anyone wants to chat, you can add me on mein facebook, I can be kinda nice

Btw I totally haven't been obsessed with angels lately and I totally didn't start a fic about actual angels, no

Whatever

As you can see I'm in the best mood ever

Cheers,

- Milo