The World is Ugly

I tried to stay in the middle of the hallway whenever I switched classes. I'd hate for there to be another beating.

Again, I ate lunch in the bathroom. After a few minutes, I heard the door swing and the click-clack of heels and high-pitched laughter. Then, a girl spoke. I recognized her voice, she was one of the kids who ganged up on me yesterday. "We got her good, didn't we girls?" Giggles ensued. "She must've gone home and cried to her mama! Anyways, Harry found out she walks home. Are you thinking what I'm thinking?" There were several yes's. I tensed up. Were they going to follow me home? I thought about yesterday and how much pain I was in. My breathing grew rapid. I heard the girls disperse into the other bathroom stalls. I grabbed my stuff and ran.

Just ran.

I stopped after a few minutes to catch my breath. I was sweating and panting and grabbed my inhaler. Breathe in, hold, out slowly. Breathe, hold, out slowly. I took a few doses before putting my inhaler back in the bag. Just then, the bell rang, which signaled chemistry class. I sighed, and tried my best to stay in the middle of the flow of students.

The conversation was on my mind all day. I couldn't even forget it during vocals, my now favorite class. We were going to perform famous musical numbers in a few weeks. My group got Cell Block Tango. The teacher found my voice was fluttery and innocent enough to get the part of the Ukrainian girl. So, my new goal for the next few weeks is learn how to properly pronounce the words because holy shit am I bad at the pronunciation.

The final bell rang. School was over. My breath caught in my throat and my muscles tensed. I didn't even realize everyone had left until Mr. Robinsen, the vocals coach, put his hand on my shoulder and asked if I was okay. I jumped when I felt his hand, thinking it was the girl. I don't even know her name and she's beaten me and might do it again today.

I practically ran to my house. I reached my front door and gave a relieved sigh. Right as I unlocked the door, however, I felt a hand clamp over my mouth and people grab my arms and legs. My first instinct is to bite the hand over my mouth. This elicits an, "Ow!" from the person. It's the same girl that proposed this. They started walking, carrying me in the direction opposite the school. I tried to bite the girl's finger again, but when I tried, she would stick her finger down my throat. Eventually, I could hear water running. Like a river or something. I tipped my head back ever so slightly and saw that I was correct. A fast-running river, too. Suddenly, I was thrown on the air and landed in the water. I didn't even have time to process what was going on before I felt people holding my head down. I was able to bring my head up for a split second, but it wasn't enough. Panic set in and so did my asthma. By habit, I gasped for breath, only getting water, and making everything worse. My vision started to fade to black as I heard the girls yelling insults.

I woke up next to the river, lying down. The second I took a breath I choked on water. I laid on my side to help drain any water I might have inhaled. I stayed there for a little while, just listening to the sound of my heartbeat. Day 2 at Belleville High and I almost just died. And again, I cried. What the hell did I even do to them to deserve this? I miss Portland and all my friends.

I looked ke day my watch, still working for some reason. 6:30 already? I gathers myself and ran home, tears flowing down my face.

Notes