The World is Ugly

I ate lunch in the bathroom they day. Very Mean Girls-esque, but I didn't have anyone to eat with.

The only class I enjoyed that day was vocals. I had a certain passion for singing and I was so happy this school offered it. I find it very ironic I sang; I almost suffocated when I was born (the umbilical cord was wrapped around my neck), had several breathing problems as a child, and moderate asthma. Said asthma only came into effect when I exercised but I still found it ironic. Thankfully, that was my last class. I practically sprinted down the halls but I wasn't fast enough. I heard a voice behind me. "The emo bitch, get over here." I spun my head around and saw a group of jocks and cheerleaders behind me. "I hope you know we don't like new kids. Nor your kind of people. Goths." I should've felt scared, but instead I was angry. What was their fucking problem? "Leave me alone." I retorted. "Oh, the little new girl is trying to stand up for herself." Before I knew it, I was pinned to a wall, slaps and kicks coming from all directions. After what felt like a few minutes, they stopped. I guess it wasn't fun anymore. I ran to the bathroom as soon as they were out of sight and looked at my face. Bruises all over and cuts lining my neck and arms and my nose was bleeding profusely. I looked like I was mauled by a bear. I washed my face and ran home.

Thankfully, my mom wasn't home. Her new job at a law firm would keep her home late. I'm glad. I didn't want her to question this. I just needed a LOT of concealer tomorrow. I put my stuff in my room, and jumped in the shower.

I realized a few minutes in that the water had turned pink. I touched my cheek and the scars one of the girls gave me had started bleeding again, along with my nose. I sighed. What did I do to them to piss them off so much?

I cried for the first time since the move.

After the shower, I stuck some tissues up my nose and put Vaseline on the cuts to stop the bleeding. It's probably not just me. There's a bunch of kids who joined this year, they probably got best up too. They're probably just bitter because the same thing happened to them on their first day. I checked the clock. Only 7:30. I went back to my room and turned on the TV. Thankfully, I had no homework. I grabbed my phone, started blasting Marina and the Diamonds, and sunk into the mattress. Before I knew it, I was asleep.

BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!

I slammed on the "OFF" button on my alarm clock. I felt exhausted, like I only got a few seconds of sleep. I tried to move my head but my face was against the pillow and everytime it rubbed against the fabric it hurt like a bitch. I sucked in through my teeth and tried not to cry out in pain, god, they did a good deal of damage to me. I immediately got dressed and did my makeup, being sure to cover the scars.

When I got downstairs, I found a note on the fridge. "Dear Rose," it read, "they needed me extra early at the firm. Sorry. Love, Mom". I sighed. My mom is really the only reason I try in school. She didn't graduate but wants to see me in my cap and gown one day. I promised her she would. I made myself a cup of instant breakfast (they stuff that has all your nutrients you need from breakfast but it's just a drink) and chugged it. I wanted to find all my rooms on my own and not be late to class today. Keys, check, backpack, check, phone, check. I headed out the door and popped in both my earbuds.

Here I am, composing a burlesque
Out of where they rest their necks
Sunken in their splintered cradles
And ramshackle heads
They ask for it
As a girl, you have set your heart on haunting me forever from the start
It's never silent.

God, I loved Panic! at the Disco.

I arrived at school at 6. A bit early, but the school was already open. I ran into the office, asking the receptionist if she had s nap of the school. She rummaged through a desk until she found a 3-page packet with a layout of the school and handed it to me. I smiled, thanked her, and got started. I realized my classes were not actually that far apart, on all of the levels the honors classes were bunched together. Soon enough, the bell rang. I wasn't late this time, but when I walked into class everyone was staring at me, even Mrs. Joy. "What?" I asked, a bit ticked off. "Y-your nose is bleeding," replied Mrs. Joy and she sent me to the nurse's office. Well, ain't today just splendid?

"Tip your head back," the nurse told me, and I complied. She stuffed a tissue in my nose she told me to lay down with my head in the sage position. I saw her eyes widen and she touched one of my scars. "How did you get this? It's really deep," she asked. Okay, think of a lie. "My sister accidentally scratched me when she was spinning around in circles."
"Okay..." she obviously didn't believe me. After being in there for about half an hour, she finally sent me back to class.

Notes

Guys ; n ; i think i went partially deaf in my right ear. I was listening to music and it was really loud but the earbud was only in my right ear. I took it out and my hearing is muffled in that ear and that's super scary because I wanna be a vocalist aaaAA

The song is "Nearly Witches (Ever Since We Met...)" by Panic! at the Disco. The one in the last chapter was "Seventeen" by Marina and the Diamonds.