The World is Ugly

Again, I walked home with Gerard. He apologized about 5 times about the kiss last night. I really didn't mind. He reminded me about asking my mom about the movie and I waved him goodbye. When I got inside, my mom was sitting at the dining room table. "Mom, what are you doing here? I thought you worked late every day," I told her.
"We need to talk."
"Okay, just let me put my stuff away first."
I went upstairs and put threw my stuff on the bed.
"Okay, what's wrong?" I asked as I walked back downstairs.
"I got a call from your principal today. Said you attacked a boy yesterday?"
"Mom, he attacked my friend first. I freaked. I didn't know I had done it until afterwards."
"He attacked my friend first," she mocked. "You still attacked him."
"I was scared for him!"
"Him? You attacked someone for a boy?" she asked, shocked.
"Yeah? What's the problem?"
"Are you dating him?"
"What?! No!"
"I don't want you dating yet."
"Mom, we aren't dating. I met him like, three days ago." This was the first time I'd gotten into a fight since the move. I wasn't all that close to her before we moved, so we fought a lot, but when she won I had to warm up to her. To be honest, I was kind of pissed right now. I was scared for Gerard, it was instinct to attack JJ.
"I don't want you dating yet!"
"I'M NOT DATING HIM, MOM."
"I don't want you being friends with boys. I talked a bit to that other guy's mom, the one whose house you went to yesterday, and she said you had come with a group of boys. Are you dating any of them?"
"No. I met them a few days ago. We're all just friends, I swear." Without realizing it, I started thinking out loud. "God, what is your problem? I've never dated before. Just because I'm hanging out with boys doesn't mean I'm dating him." I realized what I had done and covered my mouth. She didn't address my thoughts when she continued.
"I don't want you to be friends with them anymore, Rose. They seem to be a bad influence."
"YOU HAVEN'T MET ANY OF THEM, MOM. HOW WOULD YOU KNOW?"
"I can tell. That one with you when you got here, with the black hair, I just had a feeling about him"
I felt like screaming. Before I actually could, I stomped up to my room. What the fuck? I've had male friends before and she's never acted this way. Suddenly, because I have guy friends, they're my boyfriends and a bad influence that I need to stay away from. She's never even met them. I locked my bedroom door and grabbed my phone. I scrolled through my contacts until I found what Gerard put for his name, "Gee Bear". To be honest, that was kinda cute. I started texting him.
"My mom just lashed out at me because the principal called her and told her about me jumping on JJ. I told her I freaked out because he attacked you first, and she went on a rant about not wanting me to date and that you guys are a bad influence."
A few minutes later, he replied. "I'm sorry."
"It's not your fault, don't apologize. I'm just so confused. I've had plenty of guy friends and she's never freaked out about it before."
"She probably realized that you're at the age that girls like go out and do drugs and shit."
"That's no reason to assume I'm screwing my best friends and ban me from being with you guys!" He didn't reply. "I'll ask her about the movie. Say I'm going with someone else. Can't guarantee it'll be a yes."
"Best friends?"
"Well, only friends, but I consider you guys my best friends."
"Tell me how it goes."
I occupied myself with TV and music for the next hour. Around 5:30 my stomach started growling and I figured I should get some dinner and ask about the movie.
"Hi, honey," my mom said when she saw me. "I made pizza." Her voice was cheery, as if we hadn't fought.
I looked over to the counter and saw the food from the gods known as pizza. To be honest, it was my favorite food. I ended up scarfing it down. Once I was done, I remembered my second objective if going downstairs, ask about the movie. "Hey, mom, can I go to a movie tonig--"
"No." Her voice went from cheery to irritated in mere minutes.
"Please, Mom, I really wanna go."
"You're going with those boys. I know."
"No, I'm not. I'm going with my other friend. Her name is Angela. She's new, too. Please?"
"What movie?"
"Midnight something or another. At 11."
"One, it's a really gory movie. I don't think you could handle it. Two, why so late? Is she up to something?"
"No, no. Her mom doesn't get off work until 10:30 and she wants to see her daughter before we'd go see the movie. I know it's gory, but it has great reviews."
"No is my final answer." I sighed and went back upstairs. I text Gerard to tell him the result.
"I asked my mom and she said no to the movie. Now that she doesn't trust you guys, though, I'm pretty set on seeing it. I'm gonna sneak out."
"Ooh, rebellious."
"Will you come get me around, like 10?"
"Will do. Listen for rocks on your window."
"You don't know where my room is?"
"Oh. Right."
"Very first window on the right on the top when viewed from the front."
"K."
I'd never felt this rebellious before, to be honest. But if my mom is gonna be rude and judgemental about my friends. I'll let her. As an honors student, you have certain expectations, and sneaking out is certainly not one of them.
I ended up falling asleep shortly after our conversation ended, Florence + the Machine playing in my ears.

Be careful of the curse
That falls on young lovers
It starts so soft and sweet
And turns them to hunters
A man who's pure of heart
And says his prayers by night
May still become a wolf
When the autumn moon is bright

Tap... tap... tap tap...

I woke up a few hours later. I was extremely confused about the tapping until I looked at the clock. 10 o'clock. I grabbed a jacket and my phone and opened my window to see Gerard standing in my yard, hand full of pebbles.
"I've never snuck out before," I half-whispered, half-yelled.
"Just jump. I'll catch you."
"Okay. Wait, I'm gonna tell my mom I'm going to bed." I went downstairs very quickly and kissed my mom goodbye before returning to my bedroom window and turning off my lights. I sat on the windowsill, trying not to fall over. "Just jump?" He nodded. I sighed and focused. I swung my legs back and forth before launching myself off. I felt two hands grab my waist, but he apparently couldn't handle my weight because he ended up falling over, us on top of eachother. Thankfully, it didn't end like one of those stereotypical movies where they fall on top of eachother and kiss. My face landed in his chest. He stuttered an apology and helped me up. "Where are the others?" I asked.
"They're already walking to the theater," he told me. "If we don't hurry we're gonna lose 'em."
We caught up with the rest, only a block away. They walked ahead of us while me and Gee talked.
"So what happened with your mom? Like, when she thought you were screwing one of us?"
"When I got home, she told me she needed to talk. She said the principal called her and said I had attacked someone. I knew she meant JJ. I told her that I attacked him because he attacked my friend. I don't remember exactly what I said, but I used a male pronoun, which is when she started asking me if we were dating and telling me she didn't want me to date yet."
"And with the movie?"
"Made up a girl, Angela or something was the name I chose. I said the reason we had to go so late was because her mom worked until 10 and wanted to see her before we left."
"I'd believe it."
"Before I even mentioned the girl she said she knew that I was going with you guys." He chuckled.
"Hm?" I asked.
"You don't seem like the type to sneak out at night."
"I'm not. I'm the stereotypical honors student. Good grades, goody-two-shoes, never cheated, never dated."
"You've never dated?"
"Nope. Anyways, I'm not very rebellious. But knowing my mom now hates you guys? Sneaking out seems fun."
We eventually reached the theater. When we tried to buy our tickets, the man asked us for an I.D. I didn't realize it was rated R. So much for being rebellious. But Gerard pulled out an I.D. and handed it to the man, who looked at it for a split second before returning it and giving us our tickets.
"I thought you were 17?" I asked him as we waited in line for drinks and popcorn.
"I am. I may or may not have given him a fake I.D."
"Where the hell did you even get that?"
"They're really easy to make."
"Guys, we're here too!" Mikey turned around and said.
"Sorry."
We got our popcorn and drinks and shit before going to the room to find our seats. We arrived somewhat early, so there were a bunch of empty seats. They decided to sit in the very front row, where your ears blow out from the speakers. I was opposed, but they said it would be cool. I sat with Gerard on my left and Mikey to my right, the rest next to Mikey. I joined them in their conversation about where the best place to sit in a theater; Mikey's argument was that the very front was the best. We bickered on and on until the lights lowered and the previews showed.
After 15 minutes of previews, the logos of the movie producers played. Finally, the movie was starting.

Sometime during the movie, Gerard had slipped his arm around my shoulder. It was a lot more horror-focused than I thought. I didn't deal well with horror movies, to be honest. At the end, I was a jittery mess. Gerard touched my arm when walking out of the theater and I flinched. He laughed. "Did it really scare you that much?" he asked.
"N-No..."
"Yes it did, shut up."
On the walk back home, he joked about how much I jumped.
"Don't think I didn't notice you snaked your arm around me during the movie," I said after a while. Though the streetlights were dim and barely illuminated us, I could see his face grow bright red.
"S-Sorry."
"It's fine, really."

When we reached my house, I hugged them and wished them all a good night. New problem: how was I gonna get in? I mean, I brought my keys, but what if I woke her up? I sighed. Rose Harley, you just snuck out of the house tonight for the first time in your life. You can figure out how to get back in. I looked at my watch: 1:12 A.M. No way Mom would be awake. There weren't any lights on in the house, either, at least from what I could see. I would do it the easy but probably problematic way: simply enter from the front door and quickly run into bed. I took a deep breath before opening the door. 3... 2... 1...

I opened it and saw no one was inside, thankfully. I silently closed the door and locked it. Remember, tiptoe. The second I took a step, there was a crash in the kitchen and a slurring voice. "Rose?"

I froze. It was Mom's.

I stood there, in complete silence, for a minute, before there was another crash and some shuffling. Then, the lights turned on. Mom was a mess, her hair sticking up and tangled, her pajama shirt halfway off her shoulder. Her eyes were bloodshot and glazed over. In her hand, she held an empty vodka bottle. Dad told me she used to be an alcoholic, really bad too, but quit when she found out she was pregnant. He said she was violent when drunk. I tensed up.
"YOU LITTLE BITCH!" she yelled. "ALL I DO FOR YOU AND YOU SNEAK OUT AT NIGHT!"
"Mom, you're drunk. Calm down. You'll wake up the entire neighborhood."
"SHUT UP!" She smashed the bottle over the dining table, shards of glass going everywhere. She raised the broken bottle over her head. "YOU WENT OUT WITH THOSE BOYS, DIDN'T YOU? YOU LITTLE WHORE! YOU'RE SCREWING THEM, ALL OF THEM, I KNEW IT!"
"Mom, please--"
"NO, THE ENTIRE TOWN NEEDS TO KNOW HOW MUCH OF A SLUT YOU ARE! YOU, ROSE HARLEY, ARE A FUCKING WHORE! YOU SLEEP WITH MEN YOU JUST MET!"
"NO, I DON'T MOM. YOU DID. I KNOW YOU HAD ME ONLY TEN MONTHS AFTER MEETING DAD." She stared at me in shock, probably as to how I knew that (I became Dad's counselor during the divorce and custody battle), but that shock quickly turned to anger. She raised the bottle over her head and swung at me.
I tried to duck, but I wasn't fast enough. The sharp ends scratched me across my cheek. It wasn't that deep, but the last drops of vodka in the bottle splashed into the cut. It felt like she had just burned my face, like with a match. I was in too much shock to realize she was swinging at my face with her fist. She hit me square in the jaw. and I fell into the floor, into the glass shards. I landed on my back but some parts of my arms landed in it and now were full of glass. In the heat of the moment, I honestly didn't notice the searing pain in my arms. I did, however, notice Mom lifting her foot back. I tried to move, but wasn't quick enough. She kicked me repeatedly in my side. I started sobbing. After a few blows, she tripped and fell on her face. I used this extra time to my advantage. I struggled to do so, but I got up and ran upstairs to my room. I locked both locks on my door and put a chair under the door handle. The blood from the cuts on my face and arms was dripping onto my shirt, but I didn't notice. My side felt absolutely terrible. I grabbed my phone and called the first number on the latest messages list: Gerard. While the ringing went on, I heard Mom stomping up the stairs. Just as she reached the last step, Gerard picked up. I started crying before he could say, "hello".
"Oh my god, are you okay?" he asked, his voice frantic.
"My... my-my mom i-is dru-dru-drunk and-and she.." I couldn't finish, I was in too much pain. My mom started pounding on my door. "LET ME THE FUCK IN, BITCH!"
"Oh god, is that your mom?" he asked. I let out a sound between a sob and a, "yes," and a, "help".
"Stay there," he told me, "I'm coming over." The line went dead and my attention was directed to the door. Mom was still pounding on the door, yelling insults and profanities. I grabbed my inhaler and tried to take a dose to calm me down, but breathing in deeply sent a searing pain up my side. I sat huddled up against my bed, gripping my phone in one hand and my inhaler in the other. My phone buzzed. It was Gerard.
"I'm outside. The door is locked."
I could care less about my spelling at punctuation at this point. "im gin my y rorom and sh es tiyngn to ge t in and i dodnt tjimkn i cna e get down sitia rs rih gt now"
"I'm climbing up to the roof."
"don t oyur e gonna g e t oyurlws ef lkille d" He didn't reply. The door had a dent in it at this point. I was really fucking terrified. I heard a knock at my window. A knock, not a tap. I looked at the window: Gerard was hanging off the windowsill and seemed to really regret his decision of climbing the roof. I dragged myself over to the window and forced myself to stand up to open it. He swung himself inside and grabbed me, bridal style. I hissed in pain from him touching my side but knew I had to deal with it if I wanted to get out of here.
"I-I ca-ca-can't j... cant-t-t jump," I stuttered.
"You're not jumping. The rest are down there. They'll catch you." He looked out of the window and let me go. I fell a few feet before feeling a few pairs of hands catch me. I forced myself to open my eyes and saw Ray, Mikey, and Frankie's worried faces. "D-d-d-don't touch-ch my sid-des..." The let go of my waist and slowly lowered me to the floor. Gerard jumped down a minute later. "She broke the fucking door open. We have to go." He grabbed my right leg and the others grabbed my other limbs. They rushed me to Gerard's house. My vision was blurry and I could feel myself drifting in and out of consciousness. I was terrified.

Notes