The Only Hope For Me Is...
'Isn't That Something?'
~ tour of 2012~
"It's been years since the miscarriage Frank, I don't think she'll want to try again. If I even talk about it she breaks down."
"C'mon Toro, your ready for this! I've seen the way you two play with the twins, miles, and bandit! We all know you want a kid."
Me and Frank are sitting backstage after our show at bamboozle. We tried playing some older songs to cheer gee up, but it was clear it didn't work. Frank and I decided to wait as he "cleared his head" (meaning some sort of self destruction) and Frank brought up the subject of kids. Ever since the news of the miscarriage, I decided to throw myself into working on the new album. Thinking about the kid made me half-ass everything, and that pissed off everyone. We acted proud of danger days for the fans, but we all knew it was bad.
"If you had a kid, maybe then mikey could have a kid, and then we'd all be dads! We could make dad jokes and wear cargo shirts and just be fucking old!!!" He grabbed me and started shaking me violently as he emphasized that last part. I laughed and said "fuck that, I'm still pretty!"
We both laughed for a couple of minutes and thought about it. I guess we got down from our high because Frank said the thing we didn't want to admit.
"This is the end of the band, isn't it?"
"I'm afraid so. We can hold on as long as possible, but it's ending soon."
~2 months later~
I walk through the door after almost 8 hours of feeling useless. Gerard is getting worse, which is making Frank pissy, and Mikey didn't want to fight with his brother.
Christa was standing at the door looking extremely giddy and holding something in her hand.
"I have some news for you sweetie..."
"Can it wait after dinner, it's been a long day."
I go into the kitchen and grab a beer sitting down in my favorite chair. For some reason, she already made dinner for both of us and was still persisting it.
"Can we talk now?!"
"Christa, babe, I just want to-"
"I'm pregnant!"
I almost spat out my beer. My wife of only a few years, is pregnant on my birthday.
