Amare aut mori conatur

I clutched onto the tattered brown mess that I call my diary with all my might. They had found it. Despite my attempt of hiding it, they had found it. I had no knowledge of the names of any of them. But they were attempting to pry my grip open to snatch my deepest thoughts from my hands. Their intent to enjoy the insides of the book. I knew I was an outcast from the group, I had made it so, but even then for the last week I had attempted to socialise. But I was surrounded by my assailants. Mikey and Ray could help if I shout loud enough...
'MIKEY! RAY!' I attempted in calling them. My assailants erupted in laughter.
'They aren't going to help you now.' Came an assailants reply. I groaned causing more laughter amongst them. I looked at them up and down, there were four in total. The one that spoke was heavily built, around 6 foot 4 and had a shaven head. Two others were quite lean, one having short brown hair and the other shaven like the first. The fourth swung the punch at my head. My vision blurred as they continued to subdue me taking the diary as I reluctantly began slipping into the abyss of darkness called unconsciousness.
'Gerard?' I heard a shout. I loudly groaned, I couldn't answer with words at this point. I tried to recall the voice but I didn't recognise it as the voice of Mikey or Ray. It was soft. Almost comforting me as darkness took over through the running of my assailants and the dropping of the diary...

***

'DON'T TOUCH ME!' I yelled at them. The demons carried on chasing me. I ran and I ran but they never slowed. I looked over my shoulder to see the blood red eyes of the pursuers. They were too fast. I knew I'd made a mistake to turn my head as I tripped over and whimpered.
You're pathetic Way' They cried out in unison 'You have no goal. Remember the words Way; Amare aut mori conatur.'
Then they disappeared as I lay crying on the floor.


***

I awoke in a pool of sweat shooting up off where I lay. I cursed the recurring nightmares as I took in the surroundings. They were alien to me.
'Ah, look who's awake.' I turned my head to see Billie smiling in the chair.
'How long have I been like this for?' I groaned. I had so many questions but this was the first that came to mind. Billie stood up out of his seat and began pouring two cups of tea.
'Sugar?' He asked, I indicated for two. Once he'd finished making the beverage he put mine on a saucer and placed it on the small table in front of me. He put his own on his lap as he sat back into the chair. 'You've been there for two hours through numerous sustained blows to the head. If Frank hadn't have found you when he did...' Billie's voice was relaxed yet full of concern. I shot up at the mentioning of 'his' name, but winced, clutching my head.
'Did you not know it was him?' Billie asked full of curiosity.
'No' I said lightly.
'You didn't even see his face?'
'I couldn't see the face of anyone after a couple of punches. My vision was too impaired.'
'Hmm, that is interesting. Anyway, did you see who they were before they hit you? Do you know their motive?' Billie asked, lighting a cigarette. I wondered what was interesting about not being able to see.
'There were four of them in total...' I began describing the men to Billie in detail, he took drags on his cigarette and nodded calmly whilst listening. Every now and again he'd interrupt to tell me the names of my assailants. '...motive-wise they all seemed to want to laugh at me, wanted to read my...'
'Your?' Billie looked at me carefully.
'My diary sir.' I reluctantly spluttered. I took a sip from the tea he made me, it was sweet and although I prefer coffee, I couldn't refuse his hospitality. Billie sensed my unease on talking of my diary. Calmly he put his tea down and walked over to his bed, reaching underneath to pull out a leather-bound book.
'There is nothing to be ashamed of by keeping a diary Gee, I use it as a sort of stress relief.' At that moment I knew the same Billie my brother knew. He did care as I now developed a caring for him.
'Sorry sir.' I looked down.
'Billie.' He said winking at me before putting the book back under his bed. 'Anyway Gee, you'll have a few bruises and maybe a headache but you'll be fine in after a couple of days. In the meantime I'd prepare for leaving tomorrow whilst I give a word or two to those sods who hit you.' Billie stood up out of his seat to offer me a handshake which I rose to meet. As I was about to exit I remembered about Frank.
'Billie. Can I ask where to find Frank? Just to give him his due thanks.'
'He'll probably be in his billet, try number 49.' Billie smiled.
'Thanks Billie.'
'While you're there you might want to have a talk to him.' I'd opened the door when Billie called.
'Why? I'll try to make acquaintance if that's what you mean.'
Billie shook his head 'No that's not what I mean. Gee.' Billie paused. 'You were calling out his name whilst you slept...'

Notes

Frerard getting closer????
Ok so first of all I want to apologise for breaking my promise of uploading this sooner; my account was playing up last night. Second of all thanks for everyone who is reading this and hopefully enjoying this as I'm having great fun writing it :) I trust you all read my note the previous chapter so you understand about how factually accurate this is going to be to world war 2 from now on.
Anyways...
Thanks as always for reading, 200 views! Remember to comment and keep reading for more :)