Keep it a Secret

Ch. 5
“What the hell is going on?” Gerard’s mother demanded, waving her hand in the direction of Ray and Matt who were still lugging their instruments into the house.
“Well…” Gerard bounced from one foot to the other as he stammered, trying to buy himself more time. He knew no matter how carefully he chose his words, it would still be a struggle to get his mother to agree to this.
“Gerard Way,” She pitched her voice up, “Why the hell are Ray and Matt carrying instruments into my household?” Gerard knew her patience was running up, so he decided to just keep his explanation simple and straight to the point.
“Well, ya see mom,” He reached up to scratch the back of his head “I had an idea to start a band, and, well… kinda need instruments for that.”
“So you have one spur of the moment idea and then think you can just force the rest of us to adjust to it? Did you ever even think to consider how Mikey or I would feel about it?
At that point Mikey came back into the room with a smirk showing that he was clearly eavesdropping. “Considering I’m in the band, I’m okay with it.”
Mrs. Way glared at her youngest son, any hope of back up gone. She let out an exasperated sigh before turning her glare to Gerard again. “Fine. Start your band, irritate the neighbors, and ignore the fact that you need a real job to make a decent living. But don’t you dare, for one second, think that I am supporting this one bit. You can practice in the attic but any equipment expense is on you. I will not dish out a single dollar even if this blows up in your face and you find yourself struggling to get back on your feet.”
Even through the harsh words, Gerard found himself smiling. He knew it would not be able to get his mother to agree and he never expected her to give up that easily. Now, he had a place to practice and that was all he was hoping for. Of course he was not going to ask his own mother to help pay for any needed equipment or repairs, the thought never even registered in his mind to begin with.
He wrapped his arms wrapped his mother causing her to roll her eyes and smile slightly before muttering “I hope you’re sure about this.”
Gerard smiled to himself before muttering back to her, “I am. I have a real good feeling that this is what I am supposed to do.”
“Either that or you’re just talking out of your ass again.”
“Mother! Language!” Gerard feigned a gasp causing his mother to bust out laughing before shooing Mikey and him out of the kitchen. They made it to the living room where Ray and Matt had gathered before she called after them “Oh, and I want that attic organized before you all set your instruments up. If you’re going to make a mess in my house, then you’re going to make sure that your mess doesn’t get tangled up with my mine.”
Gerard could almost hear the smirk in her voice as he sighed and made his way to the attic. He knew her request was only fair. Cleaning the attic took nearly half the day. It may have gone by faster if Matt and Ray didn’t spend an hour and a half giggling like little school girls over picture albums under Gerard’s and Mikey’s scowl. Some of those albums were kept in the attic for a reason.
Mikey tried to nudge his brother, wishing they could get the job done with. Even if it meant that they wouldn’t get any help from Matt or Ray. His attempts were interrupted when a loud squeal erupted causing Mikey to jump and Gerard’s scowl to turn into a murderous glare. When the younger brother turned around, Matt was hunched over one of the albums, shaking with laughter. And Ray, who he presumed the squeal came from, was curled on the floor, his face as red as a tomato. Mikey walked over and glanced at what Matt was hunched over, a smile slowly growing on his face as he signaled Gerard over to take a look.
Gerard’s expression mirrored a mixture of horror and embarrassment as he stared at the picture of a young boy in an elfish costume. He remembered that day all too well when he tried out for the musical, Peter Pan, and being the only boy to actually try out, made it as the lead. Aside from the terrible costume choice, it wasn’t his worst memory. In fact, his grandmother, Elena, was so proud that he had gotten the part that she coached him through the singing. After that, Gerard ended up taking regular lessons from her up until he went away to New York to attend the School of Visual Arts.
With a fond smile etching its way across his face, Gerard snatched the album from under Matt. Matt not being able to put up much of a fight while in hysterics as Gerard took the single picture of him in his Peter Pan leotard and put it in his back pocket, making a mental note to show it to his grandmother next time he saw her.
“Okay now that you guys had your undeserved break, we all need to get back to work otherwise this is never going to get done.” Gerard directed as his little brother nodded in agreement. Mikey grabbed the broom that Ray had abandoned previously while ray followed him around with a dust pan. Matt got back to organizing the picture albums into their boxes before setting them out of the way. Gerard made himself busy by cleaning up the miscellaneous clutter that did nothing but accumulate since, Gerard was sure, when his parents first got married.

After a while, the attic was at least presentable enough. So Matt busied himself by setting up the equipment while Ray showed Mikey how to properly tune his bass. Gerard smiled fondly at them before he went downstairs to the kitchen, deciding that everyone has earned themselves a cold beer. Matt came down to grab another piece of equipment but noticed Gerard in the kitchen and decided to join him instead. Gerard smiled and handed Matt a beer before plopping himself down at the kitchen table signaling Matt to do the same. For a few minutes, the boys sat in silence sipping from their beers until Matt began to speak as a concerned expression overtook his face.
“This doesn’t seem like just another crash and burn idea of a band like before, Gee. What are you expecting?
Gerard stared intensely at the beer bottle as he spoke. “Something. Anything, Matt. I-I just wanna be someone in this world. I don’t want to be just Gerard Way, failed wannabe artist with a developing alcohol problem.” Gerard looked up from his bottle and focused his gaze on Matt. “Those people who died, they all had a story. They all had their own lives. Maybe even a family that is now incomplete.” His gaze shifted back to the bottle. “Maybe they were happy with their job or were moving up in the workplace. Matt, their lives were stolen from them and none of us even knew who they were. If I showed you a list of their names, I doubt you could even tell me one thing about them.”
Gerard stood up, looking back at Matt as he grabbed his beer and made his way towards the forgotten equipment left in the living room. “See, I don’t want to be just another nobody, and at this rate, it seems like that’s how I’m going to end up. I want to make a difference in a complete stranger’s life. I want someone to randomly come up to me off of the street and say ‘Thank You’. And when I die, which I hope is in a more peaceful way, I want someone to recognize my name.

Notes

Sorry, shit chapter and shit ending.
Having a family situation and head really isnt in the right place.

Anyways... enjoy and thanks all for reading and commenting. Means a lot to me(: