Worse Than Nicotine

~Frank's POV~
Gerard's house was quite in fact nicer than I thought. Not trying to be mean or anything, but I honestly thought it wouldn't look that nice. And I just met his little brother Mikey, he looked somewhat like Gerard. Both really attractive at the fact as well.

I followed Gerard to his room, and when he opened the door, the room was flooded with comic books and tons of drawings. Gerard even noticed and began to pick them up in a hurry. I stopped him.

"Hey, it's fine. My room looks like this, except with sheet music." I said to try and get him to just relax. "N..No. Its fine. I was going to clean them up anyways. No worries." He reassured me. I just nodded slowly and walked over to his bed, placing Pansy on my lap securely.

As Gerard moved across his room, picking up all the colorful papers, my eyes couldn't help but wander around his body. It was so slim and very tall, but when I got to his ass, I just simply shifted my knee over the other to avoid getting caught with a boner. But if you seen it how I did, you wouldn't be able to control yourself either. I just wanted to squeeze it so much. It was beginning to get even more tempting by the minute.

The males voice knocked me out my thoughts when I heard him say my name. "Frank, you alright? Your face is all red." He said with a small smirk. "You don't have a problem right?" He asked.

I instantly shook my head and just looked down at my guitar immediately. Gerard chuckled as he set down the drawings on the desk next to his bed and sat down himself next to me. "Well, there's nothing really much to do here." He said softly. "But there's a park about 5 minutes from here, we can hang out there till my mom gives me a call."

I thought about it for a moment before nodding and standing up. "That sounds fine. I have time. A lot at that fact." I said with a soft laugh. Gerard nodded and stood up himself, grabbing a sweater closest to him and slipping it on before opening the door for me.

As we walked out, he turned to call out to his brother, "Mikey! Me and Frank are going to the park for a bit. Tell mom to call me when she gets done with dinner!" I could hear a very annoyed Mikey yell out okay and to just tell him face-to-face next time. He chuckled and closed the door, taking his place right next to me.

Gerard's hands went into his pockets for a bit, guessing his hands were beginning to get quite cold in the November wind. I smiled softly and took this as the opportunity to hold his hand and so.

I reached into his pocket and held his hand a bit loosely until I felt him hold my own hand a bit tightly. My cheeks went red immediately as I held his hand the same way. "It'll keep your hands warm. It works really well." I said trying to make a stupid excuse to just hold his hand. And let me tell you, his hand was so fucking big and comforting I almost melted in them.

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When we reached the park, we went straight to the swings and sat down. But I just stood next to Gerard as he had fun on the object.

I took this opportunity to take in a smoke before going back to his house, and so I did. I reached into my jacket pocket and pulled out my little stick of death and lit it up with my favorite lighter and took in a long drag before letting it out swiftly into the air around us.

But I could feel his eyes right on me. They were more studied on my cigarette though. Then I heard him speak up, referring to the object.

"Why do you smoke?" He asked me softly. I glanced at the red head and just shrugged slowly. "I guess you can say its just my own way of escaping this hell; my own suicide plan right in my hands." I told him simply, because it was true. That is exactly what I'm doing. There wouldn't be any other way to put it then easily as that.

"Then let me say this, what you're doing is understandable. But you're also throwing away your whole life. I used to be a smoker too. Trust me, I know the taste it gives, and the urge. I stopped, and haven't picked one up since two years ago. So I'm also saying this, either put it down, or we both go together. And once you pick going together, whenever you pick one up, I'll do so too. No ifs or buts. This is the chance you better take, or you'll never be able to come back to it again."

My eyes instantly settled on Gerard, thinking of how crazy he sounded just then. His own eyes were looking right at me, those beautiful hazel eyes. It's almost hard to believe that one day they'll be dull and lifeless. I couldn't stop smoking, it was my only escape, but I also had the other one.

I just shook my head and took in another drag from death itself. And just as he said, he reached into my pocket of my jacket and pulled out my cigarettes, along with the lighter. I didn't stop him, I didn't want to stop him. Was he really going to do what he said he would? I couldn't process anything, just watch as he placed it between his lips, and light it up so quickly.

When he breathed in, I could see his jaw tense as he let flow into his lungs. When he let it go, it flowed out so smoothly and quietly. I couldn't believe he did it. He said he would, and he did.

"Gerard, why did you-" He cut me off. "I just told you why. You had the chance to stop, but you let it pass. Plus, I quite miss the feeling." Gerard said with a smile on his lips as he took in another breath of smoke.

I nodded, understanding what he just said directly to me. I did have a chance and I let it slip right through my fingers. But this just showed that I had someone new in my life. I don't know what I'll do if he wasn't here. I just met him and now he means everything.

But even if I know this, I couldn't let him find out about the ugly truth of me I hide from everyone. Even I hide it from Ray and I tell him about everything.

Gerard shook me out my head when he blew smoke at me to tell me we had to leave. I guess we already have been here for awhile. I nodded and his hand took mine again.

"Gerard.. This might sound weird, but I like you.. I know we just met yesterday, but I just get this weird feeling around you now. I understand if you like me anymore.. I mean for me liking guys and stuff." He just simply squeezed my hand with a big smile on his face.

"I know. Me too."

Notes

I am so so sorry for updating so late! I will have another chapter out this week. Time just went by so fade and today I noticed that it had been already two weeks. I'm a shitty author I know, and that I'm not that good. I just wish someone could help me with the story but I don't know anyone who can. They can accutly be doing this better than me when I don't have a chance to update.

Well, anyways, thank you for those who have been reading my story. It means a lot. ^^