Your eyes are vacant & stained (frerard)

((THIS IS GOING TO BE REALLY SHORT ONLY 300 WORDS LONG LITERALLY SHORT AS THE NEXT PART IS THE FINALE))
GERARD’S P.O.V
How didn’t I guess this was going to happen? HOW DIDN’T I GUESS?
The walk home from the prison was the worst yet. I thought all of our arguing was worth the fight, as long as we stayed together… He helped me. Frank Iero, my tutor, helped me. And now he doesn’t want me anymore.
- - -
I entered my house, my parents were yelling and cursing at each other again, my brother, Mikey, was standing with Pete, talking to him and smiling. Mikey was so perfect. I was the bad brother. The worst one. I was just extra weight on my brother’s shoulders, too. I climbed down the steps to my room, and slammed my door, and then barricaded it.
- - -
It had been days, weeks, since I made any human contact. I lived off of the alcohol and coffee in my room and off of hate. Frank had left me. Frank had left me. Frank had left me. Frank had left me. Frank had left me. Frank had left me.
Frank had left me. Frank had left me. Frank had left me. Frank had left me.
It was swirling around in my head.
It’s all your fault. It’s all your fault. It’s all your fault. It’s all your fault. It’s all your fault. It’s all your fault. It’s all your fault. It’s all your fault. It’s all your fault. It’s all your fault. It’s all your fault. It’s all your fault. It’s all your fault. It’s all your fault.
The words were in my mind.
They wouldn’t disappear, no matter who hard I tried. I began to write some song lyrics, in attempt to get all the frustration and horrible feeling away.
“But does anyone notice?
But does anyone care?
And if I had the guts to put this to your head...
And would anything matter if you're already dead?
And now should I be shocked by the last thing you said?
Before I pull this trigger,
Your eyes vacant and stained...
And in saying you loved me,
Made things harder at best,
And these words changing nothing
As your body remains,
And there's no room in this hell,
There's no room in the next,
And our memories defeat us,
And I'll end this direst.”
Then, by writing that I realised, I couldn’t cope anymore.

Notes

the ending, , is next