Days Gone By

In another time, almost a time out of time, an ambulance screams its way through the darkness, its wailing siren drifting into the night air, heard by nobody who wasn't thankful that it was not they who were travelling inside.

As the ambulance cuts its path to the hospital, a pair of cold brown eyes watches the angel-white vehicle carries on its course through the city that seems to have been bleached of life, drained of its colour.

It's a city where white is replaced by black; hot replaced by cold; joy replaced by sorrow; Heaven by Hell.

Life by death.

******

“Frank.... FRANK!” A voice called out, cutting through Frank’s thoughts. He shook his head, his eyes focusing upon Billie who stared at him with frightened eyes. He had never seen him look so afraid before, the very look made his blood run cold. “Frank.... you just said you killed your boyfriend?” Billie cried, his eyes wide with shock as he stared at Frank, his hand slowly reaching for the gun that gun from his waist as Frank slowly rose to his feet, dragging his hands down his face.

It was only when he took them away, he saw he was crying.

He sighed, rising to his feet as he looked up at the man before him, the man who, in only a few seconds, had become a mere stranger to him. “You need to tell me what happened” He said, keeping his voice low, his fingers brushing against the cold metal of his gun.

Frank nodded, turning back to face Billie; a tear trickling down his cheek as he began to tell him everything.

“It happened nearly three years ago...”

*****

Frank glanced at his watch, scowling as the coffee clerk slowly poured his drink into a coffee cup. He couldn’t afford to be late to this meeting; he hated his job enough as it was without getting shouted at by his boss. “Want any milk?” said the pretty young girl behind the desk, her cheery smile turning the corners of his mouth. “No, I’m fine thanks” He said quietly, taking warm drink out from her hand and sipping it cautiously as he began to leave the coffee shop.

As he began to leave, the door suddenly flung open, knocking the drink down the front of his suit as a tall blonde haired man pushed his way inside, his hair soaked from the rain outside. “Ah fuck!” Frank cried, wincing in pain as the drink spilt down his trousers, sending a burning pain down his legs. “Oh my god I’m so sorry, are you alright? Here sit down for a second” The blonde man said, leading him over to a table. Frank slumped into a nearby chair, closing his eyes as he tried to deal with the pain.

“I’m so sorry; do you need to go to the hospital?” A concerned voice said. Frank opened his eyes to find the blonde haired man looking down on him, a grin creeping onto his face. He couldn’t deny that his man was gorgeous; his blonde hair that hung messily down his pale face and deep blue eyes that you could lose yourself in. “I’m fine” He replied, glancing at his watch and rolled his eyes. He looked back up at the stranger who still stared at him with a concerned look. “Looks like I’ve missed a meeting at work” Frank added dully. The man ran his fingers through his hair, guilt in his eyes as he nervously bit his nails. “Oh god I’m so, so sorry, I hope I didn’t get you into trouble” He murmured, falling into the chair opposite him. Frank smiled, shaking his head as he studied the inside of his now empty coffee cup. “Naa its fine, I didn’t like that job anyway” He said, watching the stranger smile, a cheeky lopsided grin that looked simply adorable. “Seems like everything worked out fine then” The man replied softly, leaning forward and resting his hands on the table. They locked eyes with each other, Frank’s heart fluttered in his chest as warm feeling began to overcome him. “I’m Frank” He said confidently, sitting up and wrapping his hands around the empty mug. The stranger continued to smile, nodding slightly in return as he spoke.

“I’m Jimmy” he replied sweetly.

******

They stood in their flat, painting the walls as the sound of London’s busy streets hummed outside, the summer’s sun flooding through the large window on the other side of the room and warming the house with its light. Frank rubbed his forehead with his wrist; it was too hot to be doing this now. "The place is really starting to shape up, isn't it Frank?" Jimmy asked him, stepping back to admire their freshly decorated living room.

Frank chucked the brush into the paint pot, glancing over at his boyfriend; a large smile forming on his face as Jimmy looked around the room, his grey jogging bottoms covered in red paint. "Oh sure, fourteen more coats of paint and the housing authority might approve it!" he teased, wrapping his arms around him as they looked out onto the room. Jimmy pushed him away, turning back and placing his hands on his hips "Oh you're just so funny, wise ass. I happen to think it looks very nice." He groaned as he punched him playfully on the shoulder.

He rolled his eyes as they went back to painting the wall. A moment of silence hung in the air as a siren echoed past their flat. "So Frank," Jimmy said, breaking the silence as he continued stroking paint onto the bare wall. "Now that this place is semi-habitable are you going to make an honest woman of me?" he asked, glancing over at him. Frank sighed, checking over his boyfriend’s paintwork. "Honey, you missed a spot," he lied. Jimmy crossed his arms, frowning at him as Frank continued to paint, keeping his strictly on the wall. "Don't change the subject on me, Wise Guy," he retorted, seeing right through him. Frank laughed, tossing the brush back into the paint box. "Marriage, marriage, marriage," he chanted in a mock-nagging fashion. "That's all I ever hear!" Jimmy laughed, blowing a raspberry at him as Frank stuck his tongue out at him.

Frank slowly walked over to him, closing the distance between them as he kissed him tenderly on the forehead. "Will this get me back on your good side?" he asked, pulling a hollow golden circle from the back pocket of his jeans. "Frank!” he gasped. "You got my ring!!!" Jimmy clattered into him, grabbing him in a bear hug and knocking him and the paint cans to the floor. "Oh my god Frank!!!" He cried, kissing him repeatedly on the lips as Frank wrapped his arms around him, lovingly kissing him back.

******

“I’m sorry”

Jimmy said hoarsely, his voice sounding weaker as the days went by. Frank bit his lip, staring up at the ceiling as lie on the bed, his arms wrapped delicately around his boyfriend’s tiny frame. He had tried to stay strong, for both of them. He couldn’t let Jimmy see him cry now, it would ruin him. Frank sniffed, holding back the tears as he kissed him on the forehead. “It’s ok, everything will be ok” He whispered, kissing him again. Jimmy laughed, a throaty laugh; the life behind that smile... those eyes had gone. Instead, a feeble, dying shell of the man he once was lying in what was supposed to be their marital bed. “Everything isn’t ok... If I had known sooner, maybe we wouldn’t be here now” He whispered, shuddering as pain writhed through his body. Frank took hold of his hand, entwining his fingers with his, a lump in his throat as he squeezed his eyes shut. Don’t cry Frank please don’t cry he silently pleaded.

“Frank... I need to you do something for me” He asked, looking up at him with sunken eyes. Frank looked him in the eye, putting on a false smile as he brushed back a lock of blonde hair; quickly nodding in reply. Jimmy slowly raised his hand, beckoning to a large orange pot of pills on the table at the end of the bed before looking back up at his fiancée. “I need... I need you to do this for me” He said, struggling to speak. Frank shook his head. “No I can’t, I can’t do this to you” He whimpered, a tear trickling down his cheek. Jimmy quickly shook his head, closing his eyes as he pretended not to hear. Frank rolled his eyes; he always was a stubborn git. “Jimmy... I don’t want to lose you” He said softly, tears falling from his eyes as he began to fall apart. Jimmy smiled, gently squeezing Frank’s hand, whispering the three words which would haunt him for the rest of his life.

“I love you”

Frank trembled, pressing his lips tenderly against Jimmy’s as he slowly trudged over to the table, opening the pot of pills before greedily feeding them all to his fiancée. It didn’t take long. Within minutes, the man he had met on a rainy afternoon in October, the man he had spent hours arguing with about which band or which move was better, the man he wished to spend the rest of his life with, was gone.

Frank sighed, tears flooding down his face as he gave the man he loved one last kiss. “I love you too” He whispered before walking over to the phone to call the ambulance.

******

Frank sat beside Billie, tears streaming down his face as Billie quickly threw an arm around his shoulders, pulling him close. “That wasn’t your fault, you need to stop blaming yourself” Billie said softly, trying to reassure him. Frank shook his head, burying his face in his hands as he found himself unable to rid the image of Jimmy in that bed from his mind. How could he of done such a thing? How could he have killed the man he loved?

Billie cupped Frank’s face, forcing him to catch his eye. “Listen, Listen to me” He ordered, silencing Frank’s cried as he stared miserably into Billie’s face. “It wasn’t your fault. What happened to Jimmy was not your fault Frank” He said sternly as he tried desperately to calm him down.

*******

The next morning, Billie began to load his gun, tucking a knife into his belt as he, Gerard, Jenny and Frank slowly walked down the dirt track into the town centre. Billie hung at the back of the group, watching Frank cautiously as he walked in silence. “You know, if he makes you happy you should go for it” Billie suggested quietly. Frank glanced up at him; sighing to himself as he begrudgingly remembered everything from the night before. “I can’t, I don’t want to hurt him” He replied, his eyes filled with hurt. Billie scratched his head, groaning in frustration as he stopped them in the middle of the path. “You have another chance to be happy. You like him and it’s so damn obvious he likes you too. I understand what happened with Jimmy was awful but that was three years ago. He would have wanted you to be happy” Billie said, a thin smile creeping into the corners of his lips.

“Hey? You guys coming or what?” Gerard called out, catching their attention. Frank glanced up, a smile fading onto his face as his heart began pounding in his chest. “Coming” He called out as they ran up to join him.

Notes

The first of a double update :)

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