Don't tell mom

Mikey's pov

I woke up with my back aching. I looked around and saw I was on the floor of the kitchen in a pool of red plastic cups.
"Fuck." I groaned sitting up and trying stand but failing miserably.

some kid walking by saw me and pulled me up to my feet. "Thanks....hey uh do you know where ray toro is by any chance?" I asked the kid.

I had come here with ray and I didn't see his Afro among the other bodies passed out around the floor around me.
The kid thought for a minute then looked at and laughed at me.

"What?" I asked.

"If ray's the one who gave you those hickeys than I'd be looking harder for him before someone else snags him up." He said smirking at me. "It looks like he's a lot of fun." He laughed again then walked away.

I walked into the first bathroom I could find and looked at myself in the mirror. My neck had some little hickeys scattered around it. I pulled up my shirt to see the worst thing possible. There was one hickey lower down on my neck and my hips had faint finger marks like someone had been holding me

I felt like I was going puke once the situation sunk in.

Ray and me hooked up.

Shit shit shit shit shit.

I don't even remember most of last night except that me and ray pooped a bunch of pills.....in a bedroom upstairs.

we must've gotten fucked up enough for me to agree and that's what's happened. Nothing else would explain the hickeys and finger bruises on my hips.

I ran out of the house and began walking furiously towards my own. I was crying by the time I arrived. I had lost my virginity at a party and can't even remember it. I mean it was ray and not some random dude but still I didn't want to do that. I didn't want to loose anything and definitely not to ray.

he probably thinks I want to be with him now even though I had told him no a few days ago. I mean I guess there's a chance he won't remember but I doubt he won't piece it together like I had. Then another thought hit me.

If we did it and he remembers....then he's seen me without my shirt on.

oh my god he's probably going to freak out and force me to start eating again. I can't. I fucking can't do that! I won't give up this close to my goal of 100 pounds.

If ray can remember me shirtless I'm going to die. He'll make me eat and I'll become disgusting.
Gerard will then hate me even more.

I can't let ray make me eat and get fat again it will 100% fuck up any chances I have at even getting gerard to like me as a brother let alone a lover.

I ran through the front door sobbing while trying to rid my face of tears because as always franks probably over and I don't need to let him see me crying. It would be like offering him another way to tease me.

I ran upstairs to my room and surprisingly frank wasn't over, but gerard was sitting on my bed like he was waiting for me.

"Mikey what's-"

"get out." I said as calmly as I could. I didn't need gee to see me like this either.

"Tell me why you're crying."

"Gerard this is my room and I'm asking nicely now please get out."

"no we need to talk." He said

"God dammit gerard this isn't the time to talk!" I yelled stomping my foot making him jump.

"Listen mikey we really need to and it's the perfect time to talk, neither of us have to be anywhere and we're alone so let's just get this over with."

"Gerard I've had by far the shittiest night of my life last night and I really really really don't want to talk so fucking leave me alone okay!" I yelled.

"God Mikey isn't wasn't exactly a great night for me either! We need to talk." He yelled back

"I don't care if you got in some little argument with frank or whatever but I'm sure it's not that bad compared to my night so if you don't leave I'm going somewhere else." I told him hoping he'd just leave me be so could I cry alone without him watching me, because currently I was on the edge and one more minute I'd be crashing to my knees crying not able to hold up any longer.

"No Mikey an argument isn't what made my night horrible it's knowing that my little brother is dying. That my little brother is fucking starving himself or overworking himself and I had no idea. How do you think that feels Mikey! It that a shitty enough night for you!?"

Notes

Shits happening

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