Save Me

“Frank, get your lazy ass out of bed!” Yelled Bob from the other side of my door, his fist pounding on the wood. “We’ve got a new housemate coming in today and you need to meet him!”
“Argh, go away!” I shouted as I pulled my duvet back up over my head.
“He’s cute.” Bob teased. “I think you’d like him.”
“I don’t wanna meet him.” I sneered as I curled up into a tiny ball, fed up of yet another rude awakening.
“Well, tell your tiny boner to relax then.”
“I don’t have a tiny dick!” I yelled as I rolled out of bed and pulled the door open. “And you of all people should know that Bob.”
“I begged you not to bring that up.” He whispered.
“Well don’t fucking wake me up and I won’t remind you how you begged me to fuck you.” I sneered as I reached for the light switch and flipped it, plunging the whole corridor into darkness. “Or how you chickened out as soon as you saw me naked.”
“Frank, please don’t…” Bob whimpered.
“Oh shut up. I’m fucking 16, you really think I would have fucked you in the first place? God, my first time was better than that ever could have been and I didn’t even want it.”

“Frank.” Scolded Brian as he walked down the corridor, a packet of paperwork in his hands. “What did I tell you about this?”
“Don’t pull on the fact I got left here because I was raped. Nope. Just forget it happened and act normal.” I quoted sarcastically.
“Good, now clear your stuff off the spare bed in your room. The new kid is bunking with you.”
“What?” I practically yelled, glaring after Brian as he walked down the corridor.
“It’s the only space we’ve got at the minute Frank, what with the whole of the west wing being out of action.”
“Fuck you Brian.” I hissed as I walked back into my room and slammed the door.

****

“Damn you.” I snapped as I tried to straighten my books on the shelf, either end wobbling as I added another to the stack.
“Need some help?” Asked an unfamiliar voice. I spun on my heels, the pile of books collapsing as I let go.
“Who the fuck are you?”
“I’m Gerard Way, your room-mate…” He said, his hand outstretched.
“I’m Frank, no help needed so long as you follow the rules.” I sneered as he dropped his bag onto the recently made bed.
“Sure, tell me the rules and I’ll be glad to comply.
“One, don’t touch me, ever, even if it looks like I need help. Not one finger is to touch me. Two, touch my stuff and you better start planning your funeral because I certainly am not doing that for you. Three, leave my fucking guitar alone. Four, be fucking quiet or I’ll sew your mouth shut, understand?” I explained, counting them all off on my hands.
“Sure, I think I’ve got that.” Gerard agreed as he tugged open the wardrobe on his side of the room and began emptying his bags.

“What you here for?” I asked, curiosity getting the better of me as he kept tugging his shirt down over his hips, his hand running through his crimson red hair.
“I uh… It’s a long story.” Gerard muttered as a growl of frustration left his lips.
“Well, we got a long time to get to know each other. What you here for?” I pushed, chuckling softly as he became uncomfortable.
“You really don’t want to know.” He stuttered.
“Oh, I totally do. You tell me why you’re here and I’ll tell you my story.” I chuckled.
“God, uh where to begin… My mother and baby brother were murdered by my dad who then put the gun to his own head? Or do you want the long winded story where I was made to watch him torture them before he killed himself?”
“Ooooh, that sounds like a creepy story.” I laughed.
“Well, what’re you doing here?” Gerard asked, crossing his arms protectively over his chest.
“Mom died when I was four, lived with my dad for three years till he raped me. His girlfriend walked in when it was happening, simples. That is my story.” I rambled off, keeping out the gory details, knowing that he would want them later.
“Shit dude…” Gerard began.

“You fucking tell me you are sorry and you will regret it.” I snapped as I dropped onto my bed, my legs crossed at the ankles.
“I wasn’t gonna say sorry… I was gonna ask if you’re okay.” Gerard stated.
“Well, I haven’t been able to stand human contact since. I refuse adoption from every family that comes here because I am scared they’d do the same, I can’t go near certain people and I struggle to sleep. Does it look like I’m okay?”
“Dude, you don’t have to be, just so long as you won’t flip out on me.”
“I won’t.” I promised as the clock ticked over to 6pm, my stomach rumbling. “It’s food time. You coming or are you staying here?”
“Uh, I’ll come.” Gerard replied as he followed me from the room, tugging the door closed behind him.

“So who’s who?” Gerard asked as I dropped into a chair, Gerard taking the one opposite. “And why aren’t any of them sitting with you?”
“Everyone thinks I’m weird and uh, I can point out who’s who if you really wanna know. Then you can avoid sitting with little old me.” I thanked the lady who brought me over my plate of food and grabbed a fork from the pot. “Right, afro dude over there? That’s Ray.” I pointed to him with the end of my fork, laughing slightly as he hit himself in the face with the ketchup bottle. “On his left is Brendon and on his right is Bob. Opposite Bob you have Matt, Ross and Joe. The table next to the window has Patrick, Pete, Ryan, Tay and Taylor. This table here.” I said as I pointed towards the one next to the kitchen. “Is Ben, Danny, James, Cameron, Sam and Amy. There are more, but we usually come down to meals in stages, it makes it easier on the cooks.”
“How many kids are here?” Gerard asked as he speared a carrot with his fork.
“Well, including those I just told you… I have no fucking idea. There are kids in and out of here all the time so I never really pay attention to everyone apart from the long timers like Ray, Bob, Matt, and Cameron. They’ve been here almost as long as I have.”

****

I watched Gerard closely in the recreation room, observing how he stayed away from people, his sketchbook on his lap a variety of pencils clutched in his fingers. Brian watched me watching Gerard, obviously curious as to what I was doing, so I averted my eyes choosing to focus, instead, on whatever crappy show was on TV at the time.

“Frank, your doctor’s here.” Brian whispered in my ear, startling me from my daydream.
“But it’s late.” I whined.
“And he told you he was going on holiday so he would check up on you before he left. Come on, he’s in the dining room.” Brian hissed as he helped me to my feet and led me from the room.
“I don’t wanna go.” I stated as I folded my arms over my chest protectively.
“Frank, this is the last appointment for a couple of months. Get it over and done with and we’ll treat you to that amp you’ve been after for the past three weeks.”
“Promise?”
“Promise.” Brian agreed, his eyes on the back of my head as I walked into the room.

“Doctor Fields.” I greeted as I took my seat opposite the greying doctor.
“Frank, how are you doing?” He asked, his usual cheery grin still on his face.
“I’m fine.” I replied as I crossed my legs underneath me, my elbows on the hardwood table.
“I heard there is a new person living here. How’re you adapting to that?”
“Pretty well I guess.” I sighed, knowing Doctor Fields was going to ask more questions.
“Explain please Frank. I know he’s been put in your room which has been your sanctuary since I began seeing you. This has to have some issues.”
“Well, yeah, it does but I can’t exactly change that can I? I know that he’s gonna be there until they fix the west wing but that’s been fucked since I moved here so it’s gonna be a hell of a long time.” I explained.
“How are you going to cope? I know you lashed out at the last occupant and they moved into a different room. You can’t do that again Frank.”
“I’ve set some rules. I told him from the beginning not to touch my stuff or me and to just leave me alone, he seemed to understand.”
“Good. Now, I’m going to have to cut this short, but I hope you can understand that I’m on the other end of the phone if you need me.” Doctor Fields stood up and handed me a small card. “This is my number. Don’t hesitate Frank. I don’t want you to deteriorate.”
“Thanks.” I mumbled as I grabbed the card and slid it into the pocket of my pants.

****

I slammed my bedroom door behind me and threw myself onto my bed, screams of anger leaving my lips as I punched the pillows beneath my head. I heard the door open and close and felt the air move around me. “I swear to fucking god if you touch me I will snap your neck.” I hissed as a shadow came to rest on the wall by my head.
“Frank, keep calm, tell me what’s wrong.” Brian whispered as I sat on the edge of my bed.
“I saw him. I fucking saw him and I couldn’t… He fucking smiled at me like he hadn’t done anything wrong and I just walked away.”
“Frank, who did you see?” Brian asked, his hands folded in his lap.
“My dad. My fucking dad. I thought they locked him up. I thought he was never going to see the light of day again. I thought he was gone.” I sobbed, my screams of terror turning into whimpers of pain.
“He won’t get you Frank. I promise.” Brian whispered as he climbed to his feet. “It’s late and Gerard needs to come to bed. Do you think you can keep it down for me?” I hesitated before nodding, angrily wiping the tears away from under my eyes.

Gerard slid quietly into the room and thanked Brian before closing the door and stumbling through the dark to his bed. “You can turn on the light.” I sniffed, curling up smaller on top of my covers.
“Thanks.” Gerard whispered before a bright light flooded the room, my eyes snapping shut against it.
“‘s alright.” I mumbled into my pillow as I waited for the tears to dry.

I could hear Gerard rummaging through his unpacked bag, frustrated noises echoing around his room as he hunted for what he needed. A relieved cry left his lips as he stood up, his shadow hovering over my bed before he flicked off the light, the rustling of bed sheets reaching my ears. “G’night Frank.” He murmured.
“Night.” I replied as I fumbled with my belt buckle, kicking my pants down to the bottom of the bed and tugging the covers up to my head.

****

Stifled sobs woke me from my sleep, my eyes taking seconds to adjust to the darkness as I pulled the blankets down from over my head. “I miss you Mikes.” Gerard whimpered, thinking I was still asleep. “I wish I hadn’t told him. I wish he wasn’t mad and you were still here. I mean, you are, but you’re not here. The hospital say’s you’re doing better. They say that you should be able to wake up soon. I hope you do Mikey, but then you can’t because mom and dad won’t be here and you’ll have to come somewhere like this and you’ll freak out and I can’t let that happen Mikes.”

“Gerard?” I asked, my nose stuffed up. A startled squeak emanated from the other side of the room before Gerard replied.
“Yeah?”
“What’s wrong?” I asked, strangely concerned about him.
“Nothing.” He sniffed, bed covers rustling as he tried to get comfortable.
“I know you’re lying Gerard. I’ve done it before you know. Pretend I’m alright when I’m not. It doesn’t help. It’s why I have a doctor.”
“I’m never going to be okay. I lost my mom and my dad in one day, my brother might never wake up and now I’m all alone.” Gerard took a deep breath, sighing when another sob broke free. “I’m all alone.”
“We can be alone together.” I muttered as I rolled over to face his bed, his eyes glinting in the moonlight coming in through the window.
“Thank you.” Gerard muttered as he smiled softly, the movement barely reaching me through the darkness.

****

“Oi, small dick, it’s time to get up!” Yelled Bob from the other side of the door, Ray’s familiar laugh reaching my ears.
“Fuck off.” I groaned, burying my face in my pillows.
“Come on! You have to show Gerard to school. Brian say’s you’re the only person he’ll talk to.” Ray teased, poking his head around the corner of the door.
“I said fuck off.” I groaned as I rolled away from them, smiling when I saw Gerard was still asleep.
“Brian will be mad if he has to come and wake you up.” Bob stated, his face paling as footsteps worked their way down the corridor. “Shit, Ray, let’s get out of here.” He squeaked as the door slammed closed, Brian opening it seconds later.

“Boys, up now.” Brian ordered.
“Brian, kill me now.” I retorted as I hugged my blankets closer.
“Frank, I’ve let you skip a whole week. You need to go back now. Gerard needs someone to show him around and make sure he gets settled. He won’t talk to anyone else. Please?”
“Fine.” I snapped as I rolled out of bed, my t-shirt twisted where I had slept in it, imprints from the duvet marring my thighs.

****

Gerard’s face went pale as we stepped onto the school bus, his binders clutched tightly to his chest, his eyes wide as he saw the people he had to see every morning for the foreseeable future. “Come with me.” I hissed in his ear as I worked my way towards the back, dropping onto the only free bench. Gerard slid in beside me, fear etched into his features. “It’s cool, they won’t hurt you, just don’t show them your weaknesses.”
“I don’t have any.” He hissed, his face still ghostly white.
“Really? Tell them that and they’ll find them for you.” I promised as I stared out the window, watching the trees fly past.

His reaction was even funnier when he saw the school, his jaw dropping as the stone walls came into view. “This is the school?” He asked in awe.
“Yup, welcome to Greenhaven, school for the troubled.” I snickered.
“Troubled? I’m not troubled.” Gerard denied instantly.
“Oh, everyone says that and most are right, at least for the first day.” I laughed as I followed him off the bus, gesturing to a squat building with slate grey walls. “That’s the admin office. It’s where we’re gonna pick up your schedule and a map. Everything else is in that building.” I motioned over my shoulder to the imposing manor house.

“It looks haunted.” Gerard whispered in my ear as we wandered through the corridors, his eyes on each of the paintings, tapestries and sculptures we passed.
“Probably is.” I replied as we sank into some chairs at the back of the classroom, my head instantly hitting the desk in front of us.

A familiar but distinct voice spoke out at the front of the room, murmurs of apprehension filling the room at the mention of a new teacher. “I’m Mr Iero and I’m your new homeroom teacher. Now lets set out some rules…”

I didn’t hear what the rules were. My heart was thumping in my ears, my stomach fighting to keep down the pop-tarts I had eaten for breakfast. “Frank?” Gerard whispered as I groaned quietly. “Frank, are you alright?”
“I need you to cause a distraction. I need to get out of here.” I whimpered as I slid my arms into the straps on my backpack.
“Sure.” Gerard agreed as he began tearing paper out of his notebook.
“Thanks.” I muttered as I climbed to my feet and ran from the room, ignoring looking at the figure at the front of the room.

****

Me and Gerard sat on opposite sides of Brian, his face angry as he spoke to the headteacher. I ignored every word that was being said as I tried to calm myself, my breathing ragged, Gerard’s eyes on my as my vision swam.

****

“Wha…?” I groaned as I sat up, my heart thudding against my ribcage as I saw my poster covered bedroom walls. “How the fuck did I get here?” I whimpered as I placed my hand on my forehead, hoping to quiet the pounding inside.
“I carried you.” Whispered Gerard. “You passed out and you wouldn’t wake up so I picked you up and carried you.”
“Why?” I asked, my voice hoarse.
“It was your dad wasn’t it? That man? It’s why you had to escape.”
“How did you know?”
“You have the same face shape. Your nose is the same too. But I guessed it was because Brian got really mad when he found out who took your homeroom. I brought you home.”
“Thank you.”
“You’re not going to yell at me for touching you?” Gerard asked incredulously. I shook my head and lay down again, squeezing my eyes shut. “Why not?”
“Because it means that I got away from him. Don’t let it happen again though.” I muttered.
“Promise.” Gerard muttered before he stood up and left, the bedroom door closing seconds later.

I curled up into a ball, my chest heaving as I thought about how close to him I had been. Even with all of my efforts, tears streaked down my face, eyeliner staining the pillows beneath my head. I sobbed quietly, using the cushions to block the sound, biting my fist to stop the noise breaking free. Nobody needed to hear me cry, not again. Not after all this time pretending to be strong.

Notes

So.. uh.... yeah.... can you tell I get bored??

Let me know what you think<3

~Toxic Rebel