I'm Okay Now

I walked into my house after I got home from school being proud of myself for making a new friend,Mikey. sure we only talked for 45minuets but i felt like I knew a lot about him. I slowly entered the house a lay torealize that my dad was awake. Crap! This wasn't going to end well.
"how was school" he asked me with a rude tone. I pretended I dident hear him and continued my way up the stairs trying to avoid any arguments.
"I asked how was school" his voice was full of anger and I already knew how this was going to end.
"horrible" I replied. It was normal for me to feel depressed as soon as i stepped into this house, anyone would. No matter how many times I cleaned. No matter how many windows are opened it still smelled. Ho matter how many happy people where in here it was still sad.
"WHY CAN YOU EVER BE A HAPPY PERSON" he yelled at me wail storming in my direction. I tried to run up the stairs to escape but he caught me by the hair which made me scream when he tugged on it multiple times. He grabbed my arm and threw me to the ground. I landed on my back which hurt like a bitch but it wasn't anything I hadn't felt before. I lied there in pain searching for an escape but when I saw him stepping on my hair I realized I didn't have an easy way out.
"you cant do anything right!" he hollard. his face was completely red out of anger. "dad please let me go" I begged, then he punched me in the stomach. It hurt so much, like everything inside of me suddenly left. I couldn't hold in the tears much longer so I let the water run out of my eyes feeling it burn against my cheek. Even more came out when he started to throw punches into my rib cage. I let out a scream.
my father was too drunk to even realize what he was doing to me. He pulled out his pocket knife and started to drag it acoss my arm, each time putting more pressure on the blade. I started crying hopelessly as I remained there on the floor with my father pinning me down. I started to scream as I felt blood drip down my arm.
"Shut up!" he hissed at me as he cut one more thick cut into my wrist. I felt the sharp pain as well as a lot of blood, struggling to run away from grasp, and after a few tryes and a patch of hair pulled out I finally did it. I bolted to the bathroom where I locked the door and began to let go of all the tears i tryed to hold back.
the blood continued to come out of the cuts that my dad made with no way to stop it. I was left crying on my bathroom floor for the rest of the night in shame.
I woke up the next morning on the bathroom floor covered in blood. It hurt to stand up but when I did, I checked in my dads room to see if he was still sleeping. Thank goodness he was. I reentered my bedroom to find that I only had one clean shirt left and that was a plain short-sleeve black shirt that showed off my arms and neck. as i put it on, all of my cuts from last night where showing and they where completely noticeable. I panicked for a few seconds but then I found my oversized hoodie lying on my chair.
I left my house with my backpack over my shoulder and a bagel in my hand. Hopefully this would be a good day.
I entered first period first, with no one els was in the room. Today had too have been at least 90 degrees and having to wear this hoodie was going to make my life a living hell. I already began to feel the heat pile up on my back as sweat dripped down from my forehead. I looked around the room to make sure no one was in sight, then I took off my jacket to let some of the heat escape my skin. When I looked down at my cuts I noticed They where deep and wide, and gave me a burn anytime I moved my arm. Sadly they where definatly nowhere close to healing so I would be stuck wearing long sleeve shirts till the end of the month. I looked up only to see the teacher walk in. I panicked for a seconded but then managed to throw my hoodie over my head and slip my arms through the holes, which cuased me a lot of pain, but hopefully the teacher wouldent see them. But when I looked up I noticed the teacher giving me a horrified expression knowing that it was too late, Mr.Way has already seen my scars.
He stoped dead in his tracks.
'what was that" he asked with his voice a little shaky.
What is what" I said, trying to play dumb. He wasn't buying it.
"The cuts on your hands, what are they from?" he seemed very worried and caring but I sure as hell not going to tell my teacher that I had an abusive father at home who beats me up every night. What would they do if they found out. Send me to an orphanage? I just looked at Mr.Way without saying anything.
'"Katy..' he paused for a minute "you aren't... cutting yourself....are you" I continued to stare at him, if I cant tell him that my father abuses me then cutting would be my only excuse left. I do cut myself, a lot actully. I have nothing left to live for and no one loves me so why not, but I make sure I do it in unnoticeable places. I looked down in shame hoping we would understand what I was trying to say. "you arrant going to tell anyone,.. are you" I asked, looking directly up at him, our eyes meeting each others
"Listen Katy, if you need to talk to anyone about this, you can always come to me" he paused for a couple seconds, I began to feel really nervous but he continued to talk. "but if this continues then I'm going to have to find you some help." he looked down at his feet then back into my eyes, and I gave him a small nod. "good" was all he said with a polite smile on his face, and walked over to his desk. the bell rang and a group of students flooded into the room. Throughout the rest of the period we both pretended that the whole conversation between us never happened.

Notes

4/7/14
i really hope that everyone understands what happened. It's been a day and I'm still really pissed off that I can't go into my other account. I'll be posting a bunch of chapters tonight
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