I'm Okay Now

"What!" I asked with my mouth wide open.
"Oh miss Katy, what I'm saying is I actually really like you. That's why I kissed you. I just got so mad at myself for kissing you and showing how I really felt, that I ran away. I was mad at my self, not you."
I uncrossed my arms from my chest and looked at him "oh" really was that really all I could say!? "Umm well.... I.. Uh.. I kinda really like you too" that sounded really cliche, but it was how I feel. I did like him, and knowing how he felt about me made my heart glow bright. Ever since I met him he made me feel safe. His hazel eyes looking into mine made me smile uncontrollably and having my head up against his chest for all the tears that fell out of my eyes gave me comfort and showed me that someone does care about me, and want to help. I don't think I've ever seen him smile this much before and it made me happy. He made me happy.
"Well I have to continue to 'teach' and you have to get back to class, so uhh let's go back in" he said, breaking the beautiful moment. I completely forgot that we where still in school, when I was with him, all of my surroundings magically seemed to disappear. I gave him a small nod before following him into the classroom and sat down.
"Why are you smiling" Mikey asked me. Realizing that I had a smile from ear to ear on my face, I quickly wiped it off.
"Why did u get rid of it? You look beautiful when ever you smile" did he really just call me beautiful? Nah he was just trying to be nice "thanks" I whispered to him and put another smile on my face for his amusement and also because I was actually felt happy. For the first time in forever, I had a reason to be happy.
The rest of the day continued normally. Every class I went to I was staring at the clock waiting for the day to end so I can see Gerard's face again. Finally the final bell rang and everyone walked to the door except for that one girl who pushed through everyone making sure she was the first one out. Oh ya, that kid was me. I practically ran to my locker and bad everything ready to go home in my backpack in a matter of seconds. I slammed my locker door shut to find Mikey standing right behind me.
"Hey mikes!" I shrieked cheerfully. That's a first, I've been really happy all day and I loved the feeling, it was like I was unstoppable.
"Hey Katy cat! Are you ready to get going?"
"Yep" I said putting a huge smile on my face. I followed him into his car and hopped over the door into the passenger seat. We talked and laughed the whole way home and it was incredible. I wish I could spend everyday like this, smiling at the littlest things and being able to say what's really on my mind, well that is if we could hear each other over the loud music that was blasting from the car speakers as we sang along to every lyric from sleeping with siren's "if I'm James dean, you're Audrey Hepburn"
*****
Once we entered his house We took a seat on his bedroom floor playing monopoly. I honestly loved this game but I sucked at it, and it took forever to finish. sooner then later Mikey caught up with my bord ness so we stopped the game, with him in the lead. I fell asleep on his shoulder untill I heard the front door slam open. I nearly had a heart attack before feeling Mikey's hand on my shoulder
"Relax it just my brother" he said in a soft tone trying to calm me down but my heart was bound to jump out of my chest. Why do loud noises always scare me so much?
"I'm starting to get hungry" I commented
"Yah I don't blame ya, it's almost 6 o'clock."
"Really! Had I been asleep for that long?" I asked, and he gave me a little nod. The last time I can recall was about 3pm when I started to get board of the game. Anything in between the three hours that passed I was sleeping. On Mikey.
"I'm sorry! I didn't mean t-"
"Don't mention it" he said as he quickly stood up on his feet, and i followed him down into the kitchen.
I saw his brother there sitting on the counter drinking coffee. I flashed him a smile as he gave me a bright smile followed by a wink in return. I couldent help but blush as I felt my face grow red, Trying to hide it was no use.
"So how was school today" Gerard asked both me and Mikey.
"It was great!" Mikey replied as he walked over to his brother as he whispered "she is actually happy! It's great!" I saw Gerard's bright smile appear on his face, but Since I wasn't suppose to hear Mikey's comment I played dumb.
"Umm.. Katy" Gerard began "I already set up the guest bedroom so u can sleep there for now on"
"Thanks for letting me stay,. Anytime you want me out just let me know"
"Your welcome to stay as long as you want!" He came over and wrapped his arms around me and pulled me in. Ahh a Gerard hug, their is nothing better then being up against his warm body. I couldn't help but close my eyes and allow the corners of my mouth to rise, everything around me seemed to disappear and I didn't even notice that Mikey had left the room until I heard his footsteps heading up the stairs, apparently that was a cue for Gerard to get things heated up. I felt his lips crash onto mine as I tasted his warm coffee breath, his tong slid across my bottom lip begging for an entrance which I was more than happy to give him and within a matter of seconds our tongs began dancing in each others mouths, oh it felt good. I allowed my hands to travel threw his hair and letting his hand move down my back in a slow soft motion. That's when I got a slap from reality. What the fuck was I doing! This is my teacher! My friends brother! How could I! I gently pulled him away trying not to be rude.
"I'm sorry I can't- it's just-"
"I know, I understand your not ready"
"No- well ya but that's not what I wanted to say. You're my teacher and I'm your student. This- it's just not going to work out... I'm sorry" it stabbed me in the heart to say that bit I could feel (if it was even possible), that it hurt him more. What I said made his eyes grow very sad and caused his hand to start trembling, what have I done.
"I- i" was all he could think of. I could have sworn that I saw some tears build up but he let me go and ran away so quickly that I didn't have the chance to get a good look. Just like that he left. He ran out the kitchen door and I could feel the hate he had for me. Once he left, I just sat on the floor crying wishing so badly I had a razor in my hand. I felt so lonely and this was something that can't be fixed easily. Look at the mess I made. My head was hanging low between my knees as I let a couple of tears fall, but once when one escape many followed and their was no use in trying to stop them. I probably crushed Gerard from the inside out. Even though I only known him for about four days, the look that he gave me when I told him that this wouldn't work out seemed to have burned him in ways I can't describe.
I tried not to cry loud, i would hate it for Mikey to find me like this but sure enough he came downstairs and saw me covered in tears.
"Katy what the hell happened!" I felt his arms wrap around mine and I instantly felt better, but I was still a mess of emotions. I refused to let Mikey witness my crying face so I just shoved my head between my hands and continued to sob. Every breath I breathed I could smell that special sent that he had, you know the one that smells like manly flowers. But this time the aurora was a lot stronger then his usual smell. I felt really bad knowing I'm probably ruining his shirt with tear and eye liner stains but he didn't seem to care much about it. His grip on me got tighter as the tears continued to fall, wishing it was Gerard who next to me. Maybe if I cried long enough all the pain will go away.
It didn't work

Notes

I really hope that you guys are enjoying where this is going so far. But I also really wish that i would get feedback from you guys so I know how to improve my story. Please please please comment what's on your mind and what suggestions that you have for me either to improve the plot or to make me a better writer <3