Keep Me Safe from Myself

**Gerard POV**

I didn’t want to leave her, but this was the opportunity of a lifetime.

It was tough being without her, after all she’s been through. Things were finally starting to look good for us. Ray drove up to New Jersey to finalize our plans, bringing Bob with him. Ray said he was a buddy of his from Chicago, which I didn’t have a problem with. He was a really cool dude, at least I thought so until he met Hannah. It was like a switch went off in him, his eyes grew dark and he couldn’t keep them off of MY girl. I’d snuck my arm around her waist to let him know that, even flashing him a challenging glare, but his mood didn’t change.

The flight to New York was really short, we really didn’t need to take a plane but Bob insisted. I guess the idea of being stuck in a car for more than a few hours with all five of us didn’t strike him as fun. Not my fault Ray gets carsick.

The flight was short but boring. It didn’t have any TV, and since it was so short there wasn’t even anyone walking around offering water or coffee. I almost died, going more than thirty minutes without coffee made my skin crawl.

I walked into our hotel rooms with Mikey and Bob. Frank and Ray were sharing the one adjacent to ours. Thankfully the couch was a pull-out, so Bob slept on the couch while me and Mikey shared a bed.

The next few mornings consisted of practical jokes and song recording. And of course calling Hannah. I tried to call her at least once a day, but every time I did so much as pick up a phone it was:

‘Gerard help me with this’ or

‘Gee can you go do that’

I swear to God, Bob was the neediest asshole I’d ever met. He could never do anything on his own, and it was always myself that had to help him. Ray was trying to keep me calm every time he requested my assistance but it wasn’t enough. It was always when I was talking to Hannah, too. Then and only then. Or if we were talking about Blaze, or Hannah, Bob would walk in and completely change the subject. I could tell Frank was getting pissed too, I mean Bob hadn't even met Blaze and he seemed repulsed by the idea of her.

Tonight was the night I was planning on confronting him. It was our last night here, after all. I was deep in thought, trying to finalize one last recording Frank’s dad had requested. It was personally one of my favorites, of course I’d written it before I had met her. The one person who dragged me out of one circle of Hell and into another. But at least here, I had someone worth fighting for.

“Live and breathe and die alone
I think I'd love to die alone
I think I'd love to die alone”

I glanced up, peering through the clear pane of glass separating myself from a man with big headphones. His hair was a dirty blonde color, similar to Mike’s. He gave me a thumbs up and ripped his headphones off, then rubbed his scalp. Those couldn’t be comfortable, they were huge and lanky, the foam around the ears were ripped and tattered.

It was late, almost eleven. I stood up and walked out of the recording room and slid my phone from my jacket pocket. I held the home button-

“Siri, call Hannah.” I waited a few seconds, then heard a familiar ping.

“I can’t find a ‘Harold’. Shall I make a new contact?” Fuck. As helpful as Siri could be, she was a pain in the ass. I unlocked my phone and typed in the passcode, 3293. I plopped down on the couch next to Frank. He gave me a slightly confused look when a goofy grin covered my face, a familiar ‘Helloo?’ ringing through the speakers.


“Might this be the phone of the beautiful Ms. Daze?” My grin grew wider.

“Blaze is on the phone? Gimme gimme gimme!!”Frank climbed over me, reaching for the phone. I held it out of his reach and shoved him off of me. He hit the floor hard, and sat there, arms crossed and a pouty look on his face.

“Actually, this is her sister, Hannah. May I take a message?”

I rolled my eyes. There was no doubt they grew up together. Frank let out a huge “HA!” and I kicked him, a slow trail of giggles escaping his lips.

We talked for a few more minutes, trying to say all that had been pent up within ourselves. It was only one more day, but it felt like a lifetime.

“Yeah, we- hold on.” I turned my head from the receiver, and covered it with my free hand. “Yeah, Bob?” I rolled my eyes. What the fuck did he want this time?

“Matt fucked up the soundboard, we need your help!” He shouted from the other room.

“How the fuck am I supposed to know how to fix it?!” I let out a long, disappointing sigh. I can’t ever just have a normal conversation with my own girlfriend.

I wrapped up our conversation with a “Love you too, sweetheart.”, and got up from the black leather couch. Frank grabbed my leg playfully, wanting me to drag him across the floor, but I really wasn’t in the mood. I ripped my leg from his grasp and stalked off back to sound room.

“What the fuck is it this time Bob.” I whipped my head around the doorway. Matt had passed out on the blue couch nestled in the corner. Poor guy works all day, he deserves a break. I turned my attention back to Bob, my annoyed expression clearly visible on my pale face.

“What? Oh, never mind. It was nothing.”

I slammed my fist into the wall, punching a hole through it. Bob took no notice and continued to edit my vocals. I grabbed my leather jacket from the couch, almost tripping over Frank in the process.

“I’m walking back to the hotel, need to clean my mind.” I barked at him before he could ask. He nodded once and stuffed his earbuds back in his ears. You could hear ‘American Nightmare’ blasting through the headphones. I slammed the door shut, making eye contact with Ray. He quickly turned his head, not wanting to look at me. What the fuck was their problem?

My walk wasn’t as peaceful as it would have been back in Jersey. At least there it was quiet, dark, and peaceful. Here it was just bright billboards and a God-awful stench that just covered the entire state. I decided against calling Hannah back, she was probably already asleep. I’d hoped a nice stroll would calm me down, but it just seemed to make it worse. What the fuck did Bob have against my girlfriend? Did he know her? Ray was always sticking up for him, I mean I get they’re friends and whatever, but what’s with the “You wouldn’t understand” ’s and the “Just drop it” ’s?? You’re damn right I don’t understand so why don’t you fucking tell me!

During my internal rant with myself, I found myself in front of the hotel we were staying at. I’d just grown more and more pissed off with every step I had take. This was it, I was done being left in the dark. I pushed the double doors opened and pounded the red ‘up’ button. The red velvet interior walls of the elevator offered no comfort as I rode back up to our floor.

I slid the access card in the door and barged in. Mikey flung himself in an upright position, looking around like a bomb had gone off. He looked at me, clearly pissed off, but showing slight hints of fear. I waved my hand in the direction of the door, and he quickly made his exit. I didn’t want him to get mixed up in this, even if he already was.

Bob was staring out the window that covered about 80% of the wall adjacent to the bed. He sat in a green bean bag chair Frank had impulsively bought the day before. I had to admit, it was comfy.

“Bob.” I hissed between gritted teeth.

“Hey, Gee. Do you mind fetching me a beer?” He replied calmly, like I wasn’t about to rip his face off.

“I’m not getting you a fucking beer. What the hell is your problem with me talking to Hannah, or her in general?” I tried to keep my cool, but I was losing it with every word that travelled between my lips.

“Beautiful night, isn’t it?” He spoke, dodging the question. “One might say almost as lovely as the Daze sisters you and Frank are so infatuated with” He emphasized the last few words. I lost it.

“What the fuck did you just-“ I was interrupted with a knock on the door. I heard a quiet beep, then Ray rushed through the door, a panicked look on his face. Frank walked in after him, rubbing his eyes. He was clearly not happy with being woken up.

I shook my head, my mouth uttering a gasp in disbelief.

“Gerard, just go to bed.” Ray finally spoke. He let out a overdrawn yawn, desperately trying to end the conversation.

“No Ray, I’m not just going to drop it this time! He can’t just keep-“ I started to fire off.

“Gee, Let it go. You don’t understand.” He looked up, his eyes challenging mine.

“THEN MAKE ME UNDERSTAND, RAY!”

Bob finally spoke up, his voice still as calm and soothing as it had been when I first walked in. “Ray, he’s right. If this is going to work, then we need to clear the air. Fetch Mikey, will you? I’m not saying this more than once.”

“Bob, don’t do this-“ Ray protested, but Frank left the room silently. He brought back a very disheveled Mikey. His hair was a tangled mess, and he was mumbling something about sleeping. Bob stood up and leaned against the window, a soft smile forming on his lips.

“Gerard, could you please make us some coffee? This will take a while.”

Notes

So sorry for the late update!! It's been a busy few days. I haven't forgotten about you guys I promise <3

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Xoxo
-Hazel