Keep Me Safe from Myself

**Gerard POV**

I’d never seen so many wires hooked to someone still breathing in my life.

A blue material encased in glass slowly continued to rise and fall, rise and fall. Liquid slowly dripped from a bag, flowing through a needle that pierced through her arm. She was covered in plastic. Tubes around her face, braces and bandages covering almost every inch of her skin and skull. She looked metallic, robotic. As if what was lying on the gurney in front of me wasn’t even human. I looked at her head, what was once full of hair was now almost completely bare. They’d cut it all off, replacing it with gauze and more plastic/wires. It wasn’t her. Couldn’t be her. These kinds of things didn’t happen to people like her. All she’d wanted to be was a nice person. Make friends. She was barely 18, for Christ’s sake. She still had a whole life to live.

Monitors were beeping all around, desperately trying to do their job in keeping the host alive. My mind was only focused on one though. The screen that showed absolutely nothing. The small coins of metal taped to her face that emitted no response. Brain dead, the nurse had called it. There was nothing coming from her. She wasn’t responding to anything, No hope, they had murmured while they tried to assure me she was in no pain. I refused to believe it, she couldn’t be gone. I prayed with all my heart she’d come back to us. I’d never hear the end of it if she died.

I buried my face in my hands, fighting back a tear or two, before stepping out of the room. I ran my fingers through my hair and walked to the next room over. Mikey laid in silence, his face stuck in a glossed over gaze at the ceiling. He blinked a few times, and turned to me, coming out of a train of deep thought.

“Still nothing-“ He’d started to ask, and I quickly nodded, cutting him off. He went to sit up and I sulked over, giving him my hand to prop himself up with. A bright red cast covered the bottom half of his arm, his face cut to shreds. Half his head was wrapped up in white bandages, desperately working to heal an ugly gash on the back of his skull.

He let out a big sigh, trying hard not to cry, covering it with coughs before clearing his throat a few times. “Do you mind asking a nurse for more morphine? I think the fucking call button is broken. I really just need to sleep.” I mindlessly nodded and got up in a daze, walking almost zombie-like down the halls. My thoughts were a tad occupied at the moment, but I couldn’t refuse him.


***Flashback***


“I promise.”

The words slipped from Hannah’s lips like nothing was wrong.

I slammed my fist into the wall, causing a slight indent that now remained pressed into the pale yellow walls. I screamed, and heard a loud bang from the other side of the wall. They had every right to be pissed, but so did I.

I shoved my face into her pillow and shouted some more. If she would just listen to me for once in her life. This crazed motherfucker is after her, and all she can think about is her grades. Typical Hannah. Even in the most fucked of situations she cared little to none about her actual well-being.

I switched on the TV, desperately searching for something to take my mind off of things. After a few minutes I gave up, and made a mad dash for the kitchen. I snatched my keys off the table and started stampeding towards the elevator, angrily bashing the call button repeatedly.

“Too fucking slow!” I kicked the metallic sliding door and flew down the stairs. I quickly found my car and jammed my key into the ignition, speeding off towards the closest Starbucks I could find. Why was I so pissed off? My anger never got this out of control, unless I was drunk of course. I shuddered, and first at the thought, then realizing my phone was buzzing in my pocket. Mikey. I took a moment to collect myself and slid the answer key.

“What.” I answered, still a bit irritated.

“Gee, okay. Long story short, we popped a tire. Either bring us a spare or bring us home. Corner of Lane and Hodges. ”

“Maybe they can help.” I heard one of the girls in the background, the other muttering something, maybe in agreement maybe not. I silently thanked whatever God was out there, if there was one. Whichever the case, fate was on my side when I said Hannah should stay home.

“Fine. Gimme five minutes, I’m on the road anyways.”

I drove up to drive through and realized it would take longer than five minutes. There were at least 5 cars in front of me. I rolled my eyes and impatiently waited my turn before finally ordering my large coffee, and sped off towards Hodges. “Fucking Christ.” I slowed and pulled over slightly, letting a few ambulances pass by me before continuing on my way.

I continued the drive before I was forced to stop about a quarter mile away. Traffic was awful. It wasn’t even a busy road usually, why the hold up?

I pulled out my phone and called Mikey. Hmm, funny. It went straight to voicemail. Forgot to charge his phone again, most likely. I called Hannah’s and got the same result. Casey’s rang, and rang, and rang, before I gave up. I felt a lump catch in my throat. I turned off the car and opened the door, slamming it behind me. I got a few honks and an officer motioned for my to get back in my car. I stepped closer to him and he approached me.

“Sir, you really need to-“

“What happened?”

“Just an accident, Sir. Couple of teenagers, probably speeding.”

My breath caught in my throat. “Did you say teenagers.” I spoke after a moment or two. I pushed past him and sprinted ahead of me, ignoring the screaming officer behind me. People were standing all up and down the sidewalk, some awe-struck while others had their phones out. I had to fight my way through the crowd. When the grizzly sight finally came into view, I froze.

Casey’s car- it wasn’t even a car anymore. Just a big piece of scrap metal. A group of firemen were working on it. A white car was on the side of the road, its front end smashed to hell. The windshield was shattered and a white sheet ghosted over a lump on the hood of the car. I’d seen enough crime drama to guess what was under it. The front door of the white vehicle was opened, and brown glass bottles were scattered around it, some shattered, some not. A blue car stood in the middle of the intersection, an older woman inspecting the damage.

Two men in white hovered over a figure sprawled on the pavement, lying in a lake of blood that trailed over and ended at a drain pipe under the sidewalk.

Casey.

I watched in horror as they wrapped her up tight on a gurney and lifted her from the ground and into one of the ambulances. I watched as the sirens screamed and faded into the distance, to horrified to look away. A hand grabbed my shoulder and pulled me backwards, and I heavily flinched.

“Sir I’m going to ask you one last-“ I ripped away from his shoulder and turned to him, a tear crawling down my face.

“MY BROTHERS IN THERE.” I had the sense of being to call out Mikey’s name multiple times, forcing Hannah’s down my throat. Family gets you farther in these situations. They don’t care about a girlfriend.

“They’re using the jaws of life to tear apart the car you have to let them do their jobs!” He led my to the sidewalk, urging me to sit down.-

***End Flashback***

“Mr. Way… Mr. WAY.”

I was forced back to reality by a woman about my height. Her brown curls flowed past her shoulders, her eyes giving me a confused yet concerned look. I recognized the blue shirt with the yellow angel wing logo, at least she worked here.

“Um.. Yeah. Yeah.” I struggled for words, trying to remember why I was wandering in the first place. “Right, Hey my brother’s, um call button stopped working. He was wondering if he could get some more painkillers.” I finally stuttered out. She smiled and nodded, and I turned around, walking back to his room.

I stayed with Mikey until the nurse walked in with the drugs. Flicking the needle, she injected it into his IV.

“All my fault, its all my fault.” He mumbled, his voice trailing off as the morphing took effect, his head hitting the pillow and allowing him a few hours of shut-eye. I gripped the side of the door tight, reacting to his words until my brain screamed for me to stop. I looked down- my hand had turned an angry shade of red.

I walked back in the room next door and sighed quietly. My ears perked up to some rustling in the sheets. My eyes lit up with hope. Her hand was moving. Slightly, but still moving!

My flash of hope quickly turned to horror. It wasn’t just her hand anymore. Her whole body shaking .violently. Her IV ripped away from her skin and softly fell to the floor. The monitors went crazy and started beeping wildly.

“CODE BLUE.” Three females rushed into the room, one of them escorting me out the door. She slammed the door, half in my face, and slid the curtains shut. I took a step back.

“Charging!”
“Clear!”
Charging!
Clear!
Charging.
Clear.

The words repeated in my head, as well as being screamed from the room, gradually getting softer and softer. Fifteen minutes later I heard a few more murmurs that I couldn’t make out and the curtains opened swiftly.

She was lying flat on the bed, all the wires vanished from sight. She wasn’t moving, wasn’t breathing. Wasn’t living. I looked at the nurse and she just stared back at me and shook her head, her eyes full of melancholy.
Fuck, I buried my face into my hands.

How was I going to tell my brother his girlfriend was dead?

Notes

Did I scare you?... No..? Oh, ok >.>
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-Hazel