I sat at the bar, a beer clutched between my fingers, the music thumping in my chest. My eyes scanned the crowd for my baby brother, hoping he wasn't getting himself off in too much trouble, still unsure if he knew the real reason I chose this bar.

See, there was a live band playing tonight, and I needed to see them, to see him. Since the day in the comic book store, just before I left for college, I haven't seen him, but my heart longed for him. Mikey tried to avoid mentioning what happened in the warehouse, but it would pop up occasionally and my heart would shatter all over again.

Today though, this was the day I would finally see him, and hopefully realize that the hole in my heart had been fixed.

I spotted Mikey through the crowd and raised my hand, wincing when I saw the look of pure anger on his face. “Why this bar?” He asked as he came to a stop in front of me. “Why tonight?”
“Because I wanted to drink.” I replied, hoping that would fill his thirst for knowledge.
“So it doesn’t have anything to do with the band playing here?” He asked, his eyes squinted.
“Nope, why would it?” I asked, hoping my face wouldn’t give away the blatant lie.
“Oh, I don’t know. Maybe because you’re dead ex-boyfriend is fronting it?” He slurred, leaning on my arm for support.
“Wow Mikes, thats low. One, he’s not dead and never was, two, you’ve had too much to drink and mom is going to kill me.” I answered as I sat him on the bar stool. “Now, stay here, I have to pee.” I muttered before walking off into the crowd.

A figure stood in front of the mirror startled me, him to apparently as he jumped back when I stepped in, his hands dropping to his sides. When he turned, my heart stopped, my lungs freezing as I tried to breath in. “Sorry. I’ll, uh… come back later.” I stammered.
“No, it’s cool. I was just going.” He replied.
“Have I seen you before?” I asked, playing it cool.
“I don’t think so…” He muttered, hesitation in his voice.
“Comic books...Deadpool…If it helps, my name is Gerard.” I introduced, waiting patiently for the penny to drop.
“Oh yeah! I remember. Sorry dude, I have been so out of it man. Time just flies by.” Frank laughed, reaching his hand out to shake mine.
“Yeah dude, totally does man. Well, good luck out there.” I smiled as he backed out of the room, a grin crossing his face.

---

Watching Frank on stage was like being in another world. He became someone else, someone energetic, full of life. His whole body filling with happiness, but his eyes still lacking that sparkle that he always had.

His eyes would occasionally meet mine across the room and I would grin and pull a face, ignoring the strange looks Mikey would give me before he drank yet another shot or polished off yet another beer.

Mikey’s hand reached out and grabbed my shoulder, his face a very pale shade of green. “You alright?” I asked as I placed my beer on the counter. He shook his head softly, clutching his stomach. “You gonna hurl?” I asked again. He hesitated before nodding, his eyes widening as his hand went to his mouth. I shook my head slightly and climbed to my feet. “Let’s get you to the bathroom.” I sighed and practically dragged him down the corridor, the music getting quieter as I lowered Mikey to the floor and rubbed circles on his back, pasty chunks spilling over his lips as he emptied his stomach.

He stood up five minutes later, his hands on his stomach, his glasses wonky. “Thanks.” He croaked as he stood in front of the sink and ran his hands under the tap.
“It’s cool. Lets get you home okay?” I asked, gaining a nod in reply.

I leant Mikey against the cool metal of my car and opened the door, lowering him gently in before buckling his seatbelt and climbing in myself, keeping the door open when Frank motioned towards me. “Leaving so soon? I was hoping we could have a drink together.”
“Sorry Frank, my brother’s sick, maybe another time?” I asked. He nodded and pulled a sharpie out of my pocket, pulling my arm towards him and scribbling a number on it.
“Call me tomorrow, we can organise something.” He grinned before backing away enough for me to close the door and drive away.

---

With my dad’s help, I managed to get Mikey undressed and into bed, the covers pulled up to his chin and the curtains pulled all the way closed. Once we were sure he wasn’t going to throw up again, we left, sitting on the deck and smoking.

It was a companionable silence, one that didn’t need to be broken, not by anyone, but as soon as my dad saw the number on my arm, his eyes lit up, a grin crossing his face.

“Who’s the lucky guy?” He asked, clearly hoping I was finally moving on. “And what’s his name?”
“Well, uh… you see, the thing is dad, his name’s Frank…” I started, unsure of what to say next.
“Are you sure you want to do this?” My dad asked, clearly serious. I hesitated before nodding.
“I just want to be friends if nothing else.” I whispered.
“Okay, just be careful son, now, go and get some sleep. It’s your first full day back here tomorrow and we’ve got to move you back in.” He joked as he placed a kiss on my forehead. “The basement’s all yours again.”

---

With everyone else in bed, my thoughts were finally allowed to run free. Images of Frank ran through my mind, memories of the time we spent together. It hurt, remembering it all at once, but maybe it was for the best, maybe it would help me make a decision as to whether I was going to call him or not.

I tugged the blankets over my shoulders and curled up in a ball, my breathing heavy as I rolled over, unsure or what to do. If I called him, I was preparing to open old wounds, but if I didn’t, I would never fully heal.

“Tomorrow.” I whispered to myself as I shut my eyes and evened out my breathing.

---

A knock on the door startled me, the smell of coffee causing me to roll over and sit up, my head spinning at the sudden movement. “Ooohhh.” I groaned as I put my hand on my forehead, ignoring the strands of hair stuck to it.
“Looks like you have a worse hangover than me.” Mikey mumbled as he placed the coffee on the table next to me.
“Shhh.” I said as I reached for the mug and drank it down, scalding my tongue in the process.

“So?” Mikey asked, his legs crossed as he sat at the end of my bed.
“So what?” I replied, ignoring his looks as I stared into the bottom of my mug.
“You got his number.” Mikey stated, brushing the fading, black numbers on my arm.
“I never forgot it.” I whispered.
“Are you gonna call him?”
“Why does it bother you? Last night you were mad at me for picking that bar and now you want me to talk to him? Make up your bloody mind Mikes.” I snapped, wincing when he pulled open the curtains.
“Because you’re gonna start moping again and that won’t be good.” He chuckled as he slid from my bed and helped me to my feet. “Now, lets get you put back in the basement, then we can talk.”

At about 3pm, we gave up moving my things, deciding that it would just be easier to dump the boxes and leave me to unpack in my own time. I dropped onto my old bed, the mattress sinking under my weight. “So, call him or not?” Mikey asked, holding out my cell phone. I hesitated before taking it from his hand, holding it loosely in my right.
“Call him.” I replied, watching Mikey as he left the room and tugged the door closed behind him.

I pressed the digits and held the phone to my ear, almost hoping that it wouldn’t ring, that maybe he would see the unknown number and ignore it. “‘lo?” A half awake voice asked on the other end of the phone.
“Hey, it’s Gerard. I was… uh, wondering if you wanted to maybe organise something?” I stammered, my words blurring as my nerves started rising.
“Uh, sure. Hang on, give me a second.” Frank muttered as he moved about, the sound of bed sheets moving suggesting I woke him up. “Right, when’s good for you?” He asked, his voice more awake.
“Uh, any time I guess. I’ve just come back from college so I haven’t really got anything to do.” I replied, uncertain as to whether I should have announced my lack of social life to him.
“Tomorrow, eight, same bar as last night. I’ll be stood outside.” Frank said.
“Sure, that’s good for me.” I replied, grinning.
“This your number?”
“Yeah, ‘tis my cell.” I replied.
“Look, I gotta go, I got college classes this afternoon so I gotta get ready. I’ll see you tomorrow?” He asked, slightly uncertain.
“Yeah, totally. Sure… Bye.” I said excitedly as I hung up.

I placed my head in my hands as my heart started pounding, my vision going blurry as tears reached the edges. I took a deep breath and wiped them away, cleaning myself up before I walked to the kitchen, ignoring Mikey’s gaze and accepting the pancakes mom gave me.

Notes

Have an update at 2am on a school night xD

Let me know what you think guys!!

~Toxic Rebel