Some like to sleep, We like to play

An hour before the show time Riley comes and climbs into my bunk with me. I help him in and wrap my arms around him, burying my face in his hair as I try to calm myself down. I feel his little arms reach around me in a cuddle and he says "Why are you sad mommy?" I pull away from him and stroke his hair as I say "I'm ok baby boy. I just don't feel very good." He reaches a little hand up and pats at my cheek before pressing a sloppy kiss on my mouth then cuddling into my chest. I wrap my arms around him again and pull him closer to me letting a few more tears escape before wiping them away and telling him we need to go.
I make Riley and Bandit go to the bathroom before we leave the bus and make our way into the venue to the backstage room for the band with Ray. The rest of the band are already there and when we walk into the room Gerard rushes over to me and grabs my wrist saying "We need to talk" before pulling me back out of the room. We go down the hallway to an empty room and he pulls me in and closes the door. "Babe what's going on?" He asks once he's facing me again. I breathe deeply but say nothing as I stare at the floor. He reaches out and lifts my head back up holding it in place with his hand under my chin as he says "Z tell me. I can't go through this right now and if you need help I will get it for you. Anything you need I will do it I just need you to tell me what's going on." I flinch at him calling me by my name as he only ever does when he's mad at me and at the way he's so seemingly uncaring. I take a step back from him and bite my bottom lip to keep it from quivering. "I'm sorry to have bothered you. Don't worry about me" I snap as anger replaces my sadness as the thought that he doesn't care runs through my mind. I turn to leave but he grabs my arm and spins me around, pushing me back and slamming my back into the door. He grips my shoulders tight before shaking me a little and saying "Talk to me Z." I stare into his eyes as my thoughts explode out of me. "How the fuck can you even be with me? What do I possibly have to offer you? I hate myself so fucking much, I'm ugly and off putting and you're way out of my league and everyone else can see it so why can't you?" He stares at me and shakes his head, dropping his hands from my shoulders. "Babe how could you possibly think that? If anything you're way out of my league. You are so fucking incredible I can't believe you're mine, even after all this time. How could I not want you? You give me everything I could ever ask for and more and I would never trade what we have for anything in the whole world." I shake my head and he leans in and kisses me. "Babe what's got you thinking this way?" He asks when he pulls away. "These girls this afternoon. I walked past them with B and Ry coming back to the bus and they had been talking about you and how hot they think you are and one of them asked who I was so I told her I'm your wife and she made a bitchy comment thinking I couldn't hear her saying about how are you with me cause I'm ugly and how you could do better. She's right tho and I know that and you could be with like any girl you wanted now that you're getting kinda famous and why the hell would you stay with me?"
"Babe, I don't ever want to hear you talk like that ever again. You have no idea how fucking insanely beautiful you are, I still can't believe that you're mine. You are an incredible person and that's why I married you and when I promised you forever that day I meant it. I would never want one of those other slutty girls who only wants one thing from me. They'll never ever compare to you. I love you my beautiful wife, forever and ever."
I take a deep breath and reach up to wipe away the few stray tears that are falling and Gerard steps forward and wraps me in his arms. I melt into his chest and we stand there holding each other until there's a knock at the door and Ray calls out "Gee, ten minute call." We pull apart and Gerard takes my hand as we leave the room and go back to the dressing room. When we get there he goes to his bag in the corner and gets two pairs of noise reducing headphones and walks over to the kids. "B, Ry you guys need to wear these cause it's gonna be real loud ok?" He says as he kneels infront of them and puts them on. They nod and he smiles before standing up and walking over to me, giving me one last kiss before we make our way side stage.
Once the guys go on they start their first song and Bandit and Riley start to dance around like little crazy people. I alternate between watching the guys play and watch B and Ry dance around back stage. Three songs into the set I hear laughing behind me and when I turn around the guys from Avenge Seven Fold are standing there watching the kids dance. I catch the eye of the lead singer and he smiles at me before making his way over to stand next to me. He leans in and says "Cute kids." I smile at him and say thanks. We make small talk for a few minutes before I hear Gerard announcing their last song. "I'd like to bring some special guests out here for this last song. I've been catching glimpses of them side stage and they will really help with the song so I'd like to bring out Bandit and Riley Way." At the mention of their names they look up at me and I nod before ushering them to the stage where they run across to wrap themselves around Gerard's legs. The guys start playing 'Planetary (Go)' and Bandit and Riley go crazy dancing around and giggling as Gerard sings and dances around too. The crowd gets right into it and cheers and when Frank turns and dances around too while playing his guitar they go crazy. When the song is over Gerard says a final thank you and good night into the microphone before putting it back and scooping up Bandit putting her on his shoulders and then picking up Riley and propping him on his hip as they leave the stage. The crowd roars and the guys come backstage, Gerard putting the kids down and rushing over to the other guys for hugs and high fives.

Back at the bus Bandit passes out almost immediately as she sits on the couch and Riley climbs into my lap curling into my chest. Once the guys have wound down a bit I tell them I'm going to bed and I sit Riley on Gerard's lap as I pick up Bandit and carry her to her bunk. Once she's tucked in I go back to the lounge and take Riley's hand in mine, saying goodnight to everyone and take him into the bunk area with me. I pull the curtain back on Riley's bunk and kneel down ready to tuck him in. He doesn't climb in but instead wraps his arms around me and says "Bed with mommy" before pulling one arm away to rub at his tired eyes. I sigh and stand up, putting him in my bunk with me and pulling the blanket over us. We cuddle in the darkened bunk until Riley's breathing evens out and I feel myself relaxing enough to fall asleep too.

Notes