Very Much Alive
Heaven Help Me
-Frank's POV-
"Actually Ray, I need to ask you something..." Oh boy, how should I even start this? It was going to be difficult to be vague about it yet still accurate. It's not like I could just out right say "Oh Ray, I have this weird man-crush on Mr. Way, and he may like me back. I know because he pinned me against the wall - I'm pretty sure he had hard on too! - but we were interrupted so I'm wondering what I should do?!" Yeah, that would probably end with Ray putting me in an asylum, Mr. Way getting fired, and we'd never see each other again. What to say, what to say... "Well, there's someone I like right now. A lot. I only just met this person, but we really connected, like, we're into the same music and movies. There's a bit of an age difference between us..." I trailed off. Ray was quiet for a while, he seemed to be processing this. Then he turned to me and smiled. Not just any smile, he was literally beaming.
"OOOOH, Frankie's got himself a crush! Come on, who is she?" I felt my heart break a little. Like I said, I never really came out as anything- not gay, straight, bi, whatever. I wasn't going to tell him, either. He seriously looked like the biggest fan girl right now.
"Oh shut it, Ray. And they don't go to Belleview, you wouldn't know 'em," I lied, making sure to avoid specific gender-based pronouns. "But I don't know what to doooooo!" I whined.
"Well Mr. Lovebird, I think you should go after her. Girls love a good chase, am I right?" 'I wouldn't know!' "Who cares about age anyway... If you get along and share common interests, just go for it. What's the worst that could happen? Are you nervous because she's taller? The whole world is taller than you, I'm sure you make up for it in-"
"OKAY, Ray, got it! Thanks man, you're the best. I'll see what I can do..." By that time we had arrived at school. He parked and we headed to homeroom. I felt like I was going to throw up. 'What if Gerard's mad at me... what if he never talks to me again, I wouldn't blame him... should I even talk to him?' So much was running through my head at once, it was hard to calm back down. I had to play it cool in front of everyone, especially Mr. Way.
Homeroom was a total bore. We had to sit in assigned seats (Ray and Mikey were placed on the other side of the room facing away from me-Damn Mrs. Cothran...) and bo could talk. The announcements came on over the intercom. It was the usual 'welcome back to hell' speech, a reminder about a staff meeting at 3:30 and a quick rundown of what we were having for lunch. Nothing important, so I just plugged in my headphones and listened to Black Flag. I was headbanging to the beat of "Damaged" when Mrs. Cothran came up behind me.
"Now Frank," she screeched, making me jump, "take those earphones out right now. You know the rules-no electronics in school," The whole class was looking at us now, I'm sure my face was a nice shade of pink. She lowered her voice, "I know I'm supposed to take it away, but it's only the second day back, so I'll let it slide just this once." I faked a smile, taking my earbuds out and thanked her. Once she was turned around again, I reinserted them into my ears and turned it on half volume as a precaution.
"Teacher's pet..." the kid next to me muttered. "Oh fuck off," I hissed back, apparently not so quietly.
"Frank Iero!" Mrs. Cothran turned back around. "Wait, are you still listening to that, that noise? That's it, you have detention on Friday afternoon." The class let out a chorus of snickers and sneers which she attempted to hush. If my face wasn't red before, it certainly was now. Ray shot me a sympathetic look, but I didn't return it. I glared at her and the other dumbasses, silently cussing them out. I really didn't care about being in trouble. Teachers hate me, I know, but seriously-detention for listening to music and saying the f-word? BIG DEAL! I don't wanna go to stupid detention on Friday when I could be hanging out with Ray!
Once that episode was over, the bell rang and I bolted for the door, not bothering to wait for Mikey. I wanted to hurry up and get to Art. I was in no mood to be late today on account of other idiots. Mikey ran and caught up with me. We just walked in silence, he probably didn't wanna anger me off any more than I already was. I might be shorter than the average male, but if I was pissed, I could take down a fucking bear.
I stomped into the classroom. Not many were there yet, not even Mr. Way. Mikey followed after me, keeping his distance like a fearful little puppy. He took the seat next to mine without a word or glance. I tore my backpack open and threw all my supplies on the desk. I knew I was acting like a little kid, but I didn't give a care. Compared to yesterday, today was going like shit. Since we had a bit of extra time, I leaned over to Mikey.
"Oh yeah, why didn't you ever come to art yesterday?" His eyes widen, though I'm not sure why.
"Not now, I'll explain later..." he replied. He seemed all fidgety this morning. 'Fine. Don't tell me,' I thought. I was too frustrated to care at that moment anyway.
Soon enough, the bell rang, the students quieted, and Mr. Way entered in the room. The second I saw him my whole body relaxed, yet was also excited to see him. Today he adorned black slacks that hugged his ass fantastically, another white button up, a light grey tie and a grey trench coat. I couldn't tell which outfit I liked better- yesterday's or today's. He avoided eye contact with me, sending the momentary giddy feeling back to hell.
"Mornin' kiddies, hope it's been a good one for everybody," he grinned. Mr. Way went back behind his desk and pulled out a manila folder stuffed with papers. "These are your drawings you turned in yesterday. I graded them all last night, and I must say, they were all pretty decent. A few were totally amazing!" Now he picked the time to look at me. He quickly smiled, innocent as could be, and moved on. A stout little redhead started passing out the drawings as Mr. Way had instructed. When she finally got to me, she stopped and examined it.
"Wow, this is really great. Where'd you learn to draw like this?" I did not appreciate her looking at my work, and I was definitely not in a mood to play around. I just wanted my damned paper!
"Nowhere, now gimme back my paper-" I tried snatching it out of her hand, but she pulled back.
"The detail in her veil is amazing. You can see the emotions on her face... I just love the whole concept of it. I'm Terra by the way!" Damn this girl was perky. She stuck her hand out in front of me. I gave it a disgusted look, which she only scoffed at. "Never seen a hand before?" Sarcasm... I like her.
"Frank Iero, now give me my paper," She smiled, contented with a name and gave me the drawing. I watched her walk away, still grinning. I laughed under my breath. 'She's a crazy one.' I flipped over the art work. It had a very obvious 100% on it in red ink. A little note was scrawled in magnificent handwriting at the bottom. Frank-I'm really sorry about what happened yesterday. Can we please talk about it after school? I'll be in the Art room.
-G
Well, now I was depressed - he had regretted yesterday evening. It's not like it mattered, I never had a chance anyway. Why would he, of all people, want to even be associated with me? It did give me a sliver of hope, however small. He at least still wanted me to stay and still was going with the first name basis. ' 'Gee' -what a cute little nickname for him!' What? It was.. and I'm allowed to fan girl over him if I want. I think he had been watching me read the note. When I looked up again, he staring at me in a rather serious manner, solemn yet determined. I nodded at him, which made him grin. Mr. Way then went back to whatever he was doing.
Once all the papers were passed out, Mr. Way turned on the overhead projector and started his lesson with a PowerPoint on Edvard Munch-the guy that painted "The Scream," a bunch of naked ladies, and is thought to be the first expressionist painter in history. It was all leading to the point that for our first real project, we will be creating a painting using expressionism. By that time, the bell rang and class was dismissed.
"Uh Frank, hold on a sec," Mr. Way said. Once the last kid got out, he resumed talking, one hand resting on his jutted out hip. "So what do you think?" I was confused at first, but then remembered the note.
"Yeah, about that, Gerard I-"
"Look, I don't want to talk about this here, not right now. Just please come to the art room this afternoon," he pleaded.
"Of course. I promised you yesterday, and I still brought Pansy if you wanted to, um well... yeah. Uh, well I, I need to get to class. See you later," We both smiled at each other and I hurried along to the next class. My heartrate had no doubt increased nearly double by that point. Just being around him made me dopey and nervous, let alone talking. 'Damn that sexy little fucker... He'll be the death of me, him and his toned body and gorgeous face! Oi, I really need to sort myself out...'
"Actually Ray, I need to ask you something..." Oh boy, how should I even start this? It was going to be difficult to be vague about it yet still accurate. It's not like I could just out right say "Oh Ray, I have this weird man-crush on Mr. Way, and he may like me back. I know because he pinned me against the wall - I'm pretty sure he had hard on too! - but we were interrupted so I'm wondering what I should do?!" Yeah, that would probably end with Ray putting me in an asylum, Mr. Way getting fired, and we'd never see each other again. What to say, what to say... "Well, there's someone I like right now. A lot. I only just met this person, but we really connected, like, we're into the same music and movies. There's a bit of an age difference between us..." I trailed off. Ray was quiet for a while, he seemed to be processing this. Then he turned to me and smiled. Not just any smile, he was literally beaming.
"OOOOH, Frankie's got himself a crush! Come on, who is she?" I felt my heart break a little. Like I said, I never really came out as anything- not gay, straight, bi, whatever. I wasn't going to tell him, either. He seriously looked like the biggest fan girl right now.
"Oh shut it, Ray. And they don't go to Belleview, you wouldn't know 'em," I lied, making sure to avoid specific gender-based pronouns. "But I don't know what to doooooo!" I whined.
"Well Mr. Lovebird, I think you should go after her. Girls love a good chase, am I right?" 'I wouldn't know!' "Who cares about age anyway... If you get along and share common interests, just go for it. What's the worst that could happen? Are you nervous because she's taller? The whole world is taller than you, I'm sure you make up for it in-"
"OKAY, Ray, got it! Thanks man, you're the best. I'll see what I can do..." By that time we had arrived at school. He parked and we headed to homeroom. I felt like I was going to throw up. 'What if Gerard's mad at me... what if he never talks to me again, I wouldn't blame him... should I even talk to him?' So much was running through my head at once, it was hard to calm back down. I had to play it cool in front of everyone, especially Mr. Way.
Homeroom was a total bore. We had to sit in assigned seats (Ray and Mikey were placed on the other side of the room facing away from me-Damn Mrs. Cothran...) and bo could talk. The announcements came on over the intercom. It was the usual 'welcome back to hell' speech, a reminder about a staff meeting at 3:30 and a quick rundown of what we were having for lunch. Nothing important, so I just plugged in my headphones and listened to Black Flag. I was headbanging to the beat of "Damaged" when Mrs. Cothran came up behind me.
"Now Frank," she screeched, making me jump, "take those earphones out right now. You know the rules-no electronics in school," The whole class was looking at us now, I'm sure my face was a nice shade of pink. She lowered her voice, "I know I'm supposed to take it away, but it's only the second day back, so I'll let it slide just this once." I faked a smile, taking my earbuds out and thanked her. Once she was turned around again, I reinserted them into my ears and turned it on half volume as a precaution.
"Teacher's pet..." the kid next to me muttered. "Oh fuck off," I hissed back, apparently not so quietly.
"Frank Iero!" Mrs. Cothran turned back around. "Wait, are you still listening to that, that noise? That's it, you have detention on Friday afternoon." The class let out a chorus of snickers and sneers which she attempted to hush. If my face wasn't red before, it certainly was now. Ray shot me a sympathetic look, but I didn't return it. I glared at her and the other dumbasses, silently cussing them out. I really didn't care about being in trouble. Teachers hate me, I know, but seriously-detention for listening to music and saying the f-word? BIG DEAL! I don't wanna go to stupid detention on Friday when I could be hanging out with Ray!
Once that episode was over, the bell rang and I bolted for the door, not bothering to wait for Mikey. I wanted to hurry up and get to Art. I was in no mood to be late today on account of other idiots. Mikey ran and caught up with me. We just walked in silence, he probably didn't wanna anger me off any more than I already was. I might be shorter than the average male, but if I was pissed, I could take down a fucking bear.
I stomped into the classroom. Not many were there yet, not even Mr. Way. Mikey followed after me, keeping his distance like a fearful little puppy. He took the seat next to mine without a word or glance. I tore my backpack open and threw all my supplies on the desk. I knew I was acting like a little kid, but I didn't give a care. Compared to yesterday, today was going like shit. Since we had a bit of extra time, I leaned over to Mikey.
"Oh yeah, why didn't you ever come to art yesterday?" His eyes widen, though I'm not sure why.
"Not now, I'll explain later..." he replied. He seemed all fidgety this morning. 'Fine. Don't tell me,' I thought. I was too frustrated to care at that moment anyway.
Soon enough, the bell rang, the students quieted, and Mr. Way entered in the room. The second I saw him my whole body relaxed, yet was also excited to see him. Today he adorned black slacks that hugged his ass fantastically, another white button up, a light grey tie and a grey trench coat. I couldn't tell which outfit I liked better- yesterday's or today's. He avoided eye contact with me, sending the momentary giddy feeling back to hell.
"Mornin' kiddies, hope it's been a good one for everybody," he grinned. Mr. Way went back behind his desk and pulled out a manila folder stuffed with papers. "These are your drawings you turned in yesterday. I graded them all last night, and I must say, they were all pretty decent. A few were totally amazing!" Now he picked the time to look at me. He quickly smiled, innocent as could be, and moved on. A stout little redhead started passing out the drawings as Mr. Way had instructed. When she finally got to me, she stopped and examined it.
"Wow, this is really great. Where'd you learn to draw like this?" I did not appreciate her looking at my work, and I was definitely not in a mood to play around. I just wanted my damned paper!
"Nowhere, now gimme back my paper-" I tried snatching it out of her hand, but she pulled back.
"The detail in her veil is amazing. You can see the emotions on her face... I just love the whole concept of it. I'm Terra by the way!" Damn this girl was perky. She stuck her hand out in front of me. I gave it a disgusted look, which she only scoffed at. "Never seen a hand before?" Sarcasm... I like her.
"Frank Iero, now give me my paper," She smiled, contented with a name and gave me the drawing. I watched her walk away, still grinning. I laughed under my breath. 'She's a crazy one.' I flipped over the art work. It had a very obvious 100% on it in red ink. A little note was scrawled in magnificent handwriting at the bottom. Frank-I'm really sorry about what happened yesterday. Can we please talk about it after school? I'll be in the Art room.
-G
Well, now I was depressed - he had regretted yesterday evening. It's not like it mattered, I never had a chance anyway. Why would he, of all people, want to even be associated with me? It did give me a sliver of hope, however small. He at least still wanted me to stay and still was going with the first name basis. ' 'Gee' -what a cute little nickname for him!' What? It was.. and I'm allowed to fan girl over him if I want. I think he had been watching me read the note. When I looked up again, he staring at me in a rather serious manner, solemn yet determined. I nodded at him, which made him grin. Mr. Way then went back to whatever he was doing.
Once all the papers were passed out, Mr. Way turned on the overhead projector and started his lesson with a PowerPoint on Edvard Munch-the guy that painted "The Scream," a bunch of naked ladies, and is thought to be the first expressionist painter in history. It was all leading to the point that for our first real project, we will be creating a painting using expressionism. By that time, the bell rang and class was dismissed.
"Uh Frank, hold on a sec," Mr. Way said. Once the last kid got out, he resumed talking, one hand resting on his jutted out hip. "So what do you think?" I was confused at first, but then remembered the note.
"Yeah, about that, Gerard I-"
"Look, I don't want to talk about this here, not right now. Just please come to the art room this afternoon," he pleaded.
"Of course. I promised you yesterday, and I still brought Pansy if you wanted to, um well... yeah. Uh, well I, I need to get to class. See you later," We both smiled at each other and I hurried along to the next class. My heartrate had no doubt increased nearly double by that point. Just being around him made me dopey and nervous, let alone talking. 'Damn that sexy little fucker... He'll be the death of me, him and his toned body and gorgeous face! Oi, I really need to sort myself out...'
Notes
Well aren't you lucky! Two updates in one day?! I usually write part of the next chapter before I update the day before. I got in trouble and had to deal with dumbass teachers today so I basically modeled Frank's day after my own (exclude the sex-god teacher) So I had plenty of inspiration... Another chapter will be up tomorrow! Hope you all enjoyed
-xo OfSaintsandSinners
Love it.
1/25/16