Am I the Only Hope for You, Cause You're the Only Hope for Me
Chapter 2
Mikey arrived home to discover that his best friend was not in the living room like he was supposed to be. He automatically thought the worst and rand down to the dark and silent basement, hoping that his brother hadn't done anything stupid yet. He never knew how Gerard would react to find a stranger in hi territory, and he didn't look forward to finding out.
The black room was illuminated by the sliver of moonlight that peeked through the small window. He noticed that some of Gerard's sketches littered the floor, along with broken glass, and he half expected to dicover Frank strewn on the ground bleeding to death. He was relieved to find both boys asleep in oppostie beds, still breathing.
He considered waking Frank and dragging him into the living room, but instead changed into his pajamas, consisting of a random t-shirt and a pair of sweatpants, and climbed into bed next to Frank. There was nothing strange about it, since the boys had long since shared a sleeping bag on the Way's living room floor, but there was something more intimate about them actually sharing a bed. Mikey tried to push the though away, but found himself instinctively scooting closer, like he would do when Gerard was in an especially bad mood. He eventually gave up on trying to stay away, and sucumbed to the force that pulled him towards Frank, and huddled up to him in an almost protective manner. There were no feelings between the two, hell, they were like brother.
(And no, Mikey does not have feeling for Frank. They're extremely close Friends, and it's kind of explaining how Mikey feels the same as he does towards his brother, it'll make more sense in a bit.)
*
*
Frank was surprised to open his eyes to an unknown room. He felt movement next to him and recognized his best friend lying to next to him in a bed, a fucking bed, not the living room floor. Suddenly everything fell into place, and he remembered how, if he hadn't gotten up the guts to snoop around, Gerard would be dead; he could be dead anyway. He quickly sat up to look at the bed next to him, and was relieved to see Gerard's chest rising and falling in even patterns.
Frank felt like it was his duty to make sure that Gerard didn't cut his days on earth short, even if life really sucked sometimes. He felt responsible, since he was the only one that knew, although if Mikey stepped into the bathroom, it would be pretty clear of Gerard's intentions the previous night. Frank also felt like he couldn't like Mikey find out, he was already worried about his brother, he didn't need another reason to worry.
To make sure that the suicide attempt was kept a secret between Gerard and Frank, he carefully got out o bed to place the pills in their respective place. It was difficult not to wake the man next to him, but he eventually managed to crawl from his side.
The counter was covered in approxomitely ten perscription bottles and two over the counter. A number was written on each, most likely representing how many he was going to take. At the end of the row, a letter was placed on the counter, folded as many times as was possibled, and 'Mikey' was scrawled across with shaky hands. Frank knew that he wasn't supposed to open it, that it wasn't meant for his eyes, but he needed to know what Gerard had planned for his last words.
'Dear Mikey,
I know that you're wondering what you ever did wrong, and the answer is nothing. You're the best brother that anyone could ask for, and you have ntohing to do with why I am lying on the cold tile with no life left in my eyes. Maybe one day you'll understand how it feels for everyone to look down upon, you, but truthfully, I hope that you never experience the pail that I have felt throughout my life. You'll probably hate me for this, accuse me of taking the easy way out, and that's okay. I deserve it, I'm a selfish cowards who can't handle being hurt by everyone around me anymore.
I don't know if you recognize the numbers on the bottles, or even bothered to look, but the number of pills I would take was not chosen at random:
9/10: (1980) (First two bottles) My amazing baby brother was born.
2/1: (1996) (Last month) The day I went to school in drag, and my brother even helped me pick a dress.
3/5: (1994) First time we saw the Pumpkins together.
9/5: (1994) When you bet your best friend, the one you never stop talking about, and makes you happy, but you claim can never replace me.
7/11: (1996) The day I got my acceptance letter to SVA, due to the application you sent in.
And, I saved the worst for last. 6/9: (1993) The first time you started cutting. You have no diea how much it hurt me to see those scars on you wrist.
The dates represent the most important days of my life, and they all revolve around you, because your the most important person, ever, and never let anyone tell you otherwise. The one thing that I want you to take from my life, is that you're the best, and without you, I surely would have done this years ago, and I definetely wouldn't have left a letter, because no one would have deserved a goodbye.
Yours Truely,
Gee. I love you little brother.'
Frank felt tears flow once he finished reading, and though he wanted to work on hiding the pills from Mikey, he couldn't will himself to move.
"Please don't tell him," someone said behind him, someone who was definetely crying.
"Gerard," Frank turned around to see a red eyed Gerard standing before him.
"Please Frank. He can't know, I won't do it, I won't, but he can't know about any of this." Frank nodded an okay, because he didn't want Mikey knowing either, and even so, Gerard clearly didn't want him to find out, and at least realized what his actions would've caused. Frank motioned Gerard towards him and easily sucumbed to Frank's embrace. "Shit Frank, what've I dont. I almost hurt Mikey." Frank continued to hol him as he babbled on. Even though they were both pratically strangers, they understood each other perfectly at that moment.
"Listen Gerard, you're going to be okay. You're going to go back into your room and lay down, and I'm going to clear all proof of what happened. And in a few hours I'll wake you both up and we'll go to Starbucks."
The black room was illuminated by the sliver of moonlight that peeked through the small window. He noticed that some of Gerard's sketches littered the floor, along with broken glass, and he half expected to dicover Frank strewn on the ground bleeding to death. He was relieved to find both boys asleep in oppostie beds, still breathing.
He considered waking Frank and dragging him into the living room, but instead changed into his pajamas, consisting of a random t-shirt and a pair of sweatpants, and climbed into bed next to Frank. There was nothing strange about it, since the boys had long since shared a sleeping bag on the Way's living room floor, but there was something more intimate about them actually sharing a bed. Mikey tried to push the though away, but found himself instinctively scooting closer, like he would do when Gerard was in an especially bad mood. He eventually gave up on trying to stay away, and sucumbed to the force that pulled him towards Frank, and huddled up to him in an almost protective manner. There were no feelings between the two, hell, they were like brother.
(And no, Mikey does not have feeling for Frank. They're extremely close Friends, and it's kind of explaining how Mikey feels the same as he does towards his brother, it'll make more sense in a bit.)
*
*
Frank was surprised to open his eyes to an unknown room. He felt movement next to him and recognized his best friend lying to next to him in a bed, a fucking bed, not the living room floor. Suddenly everything fell into place, and he remembered how, if he hadn't gotten up the guts to snoop around, Gerard would be dead; he could be dead anyway. He quickly sat up to look at the bed next to him, and was relieved to see Gerard's chest rising and falling in even patterns.
Frank felt like it was his duty to make sure that Gerard didn't cut his days on earth short, even if life really sucked sometimes. He felt responsible, since he was the only one that knew, although if Mikey stepped into the bathroom, it would be pretty clear of Gerard's intentions the previous night. Frank also felt like he couldn't like Mikey find out, he was already worried about his brother, he didn't need another reason to worry.
To make sure that the suicide attempt was kept a secret between Gerard and Frank, he carefully got out o bed to place the pills in their respective place. It was difficult not to wake the man next to him, but he eventually managed to crawl from his side.
The counter was covered in approxomitely ten perscription bottles and two over the counter. A number was written on each, most likely representing how many he was going to take. At the end of the row, a letter was placed on the counter, folded as many times as was possibled, and 'Mikey' was scrawled across with shaky hands. Frank knew that he wasn't supposed to open it, that it wasn't meant for his eyes, but he needed to know what Gerard had planned for his last words.
'Dear Mikey,
I know that you're wondering what you ever did wrong, and the answer is nothing. You're the best brother that anyone could ask for, and you have ntohing to do with why I am lying on the cold tile with no life left in my eyes. Maybe one day you'll understand how it feels for everyone to look down upon, you, but truthfully, I hope that you never experience the pail that I have felt throughout my life. You'll probably hate me for this, accuse me of taking the easy way out, and that's okay. I deserve it, I'm a selfish cowards who can't handle being hurt by everyone around me anymore.
I don't know if you recognize the numbers on the bottles, or even bothered to look, but the number of pills I would take was not chosen at random:
9/10: (1980) (First two bottles) My amazing baby brother was born.
2/1: (1996) (Last month) The day I went to school in drag, and my brother even helped me pick a dress.
3/5: (1994) First time we saw the Pumpkins together.
9/5: (1994) When you bet your best friend, the one you never stop talking about, and makes you happy, but you claim can never replace me.
7/11: (1996) The day I got my acceptance letter to SVA, due to the application you sent in.
And, I saved the worst for last. 6/9: (1993) The first time you started cutting. You have no diea how much it hurt me to see those scars on you wrist.
The dates represent the most important days of my life, and they all revolve around you, because your the most important person, ever, and never let anyone tell you otherwise. The one thing that I want you to take from my life, is that you're the best, and without you, I surely would have done this years ago, and I definetely wouldn't have left a letter, because no one would have deserved a goodbye.
Yours Truely,
Gee. I love you little brother.'
Frank felt tears flow once he finished reading, and though he wanted to work on hiding the pills from Mikey, he couldn't will himself to move.
"Please don't tell him," someone said behind him, someone who was definetely crying.
"Gerard," Frank turned around to see a red eyed Gerard standing before him.
"Please Frank. He can't know, I won't do it, I won't, but he can't know about any of this." Frank nodded an okay, because he didn't want Mikey knowing either, and even so, Gerard clearly didn't want him to find out, and at least realized what his actions would've caused. Frank motioned Gerard towards him and easily sucumbed to Frank's embrace. "Shit Frank, what've I dont. I almost hurt Mikey." Frank continued to hol him as he babbled on. Even though they were both pratically strangers, they understood each other perfectly at that moment.
"Listen Gerard, you're going to be okay. You're going to go back into your room and lay down, and I'm going to clear all proof of what happened. And in a few hours I'll wake you both up and we'll go to Starbucks."
6/23/13