Honey, this Mirror Ain't Big Enough for the Two of Us.

Chapter 5- Gerard
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My thoughts focus on Frank as I walk back to my room with Lindsey, trying to block out the nausea and agitation I have been feeling since I woke up this morning. Luckily, I was passed out in the custody of the cops during the worst of my withdrawal, but I can feel it continuing to creep up on me. I shove the negative thoughts out of my head and nod along to whatever it is Lindsey is saying to me. She leaves me immediately when I get back to my room, writing shit on her clipboard, probably how unresponsive I am to her. I groan at how shitty my body feels and walk over to my bed slowly, falling face down on it with a groan. I concentrate on not emptying the contents of my stomach onto the mattress for some time, wishing for the thousandth time today I had a fix. I wait until the wave of sickness passes before sitting up and leaning against the wall my bed is up against. I press my ear to the wall, hoping to hear something from Frank’s room. I stop as I realize how creepy and obsessive this is, how unnatural it is to be this infatuated with a person I just met.
I’ve known since I was twelve and masturbating to thoughts of my male English teacher that I was into guys. I have had several boyfriends in the past, but I was prone to fall for guys that were no good for me. As a result of my affinity for bad boys, combined with my feminine facial features, I was several of my middle and high school bully’s ‘experiments’. They used me; trying to convince themselves they were straight by forcing all the gay out of them in one quick, manipulative relationship. The worst of them was my most recent boyfriend, Bert, who I broke up with when he became too violent and abusive. We were both using at the time, and he continued to be my dealer after we broke up. He was always trying to get me back, offering me free heroin in exchange for a blowjob or a hand job. I was done with him, but he supplied the addiction. I resisted as best I could, which was not always. I’m not proud of it.
I pushed my past relationship’s memories out of my head. If Frank and I were in a relationship, things would be different. If frank and I were in a relationship. I pushed the thought out of my head. There is no way Frank would ever go for me. It would never happen.
I heard Frank’s voice through the thin walls. He was talking with someone, probably his curly haired nurse. His voice sounded uncertain, a bit rough, like he needed to clear his throat. “I…I honestly don’t know. I want to think that I’m not, but I look at him, and…. My parents would completely hate me if I was. More than they already do, anyways.”
I stare at the wall, blushing a bit. I was definitely not meant to hear that, I have a feeling Frank might have just said something very personal and private. It actually sounded like…no. It couldn’t be.Did Frank just come out? He did say ‘he’ after all. They must be here, if he’s looking at him on a regular basis. I bite my lip to prevent a large smile spreading across my face. I strain to catch any more snippets of conversation, pressing my ear tightly against the wall, but I can’t hear anything else. Who is the guy Frank likes? I feel the burning need to know way more than I probably should. Oh god, it’s just like middle school all over again.
The doctor that I can only assume Frankie was just talking to passes by my door, glancing in the small window looking in as he walks away. He meets my eyes and sees me, my ear pressed against the wall. He raises his eyebrows, obvious he knows what I am doing and why. I quickly jerk away from the wall and scratch my neck, overtly casual. He stops in front of my door, looking down, his arm moving slightly. I am worried for a moment that he is writing a note to Lindsey, that they are both going to bust in here and lecture me about patient confidentiality, but he bends down and a piece of paper is slipped under the door. He stands up, flashes me a tiny smile, and walks away without a word. I wait until I am positive he’s gone before running over to the door, crouching over to pick up and unfold the note.
On it is written in a large, wobbly handwriting, “Don’t hurt him, Gerard. –Ray.”
I turn around and rest my back on the door, looking over to mine and Frank’s neighboring wall. I have no idea what this means. Why on earth would I hurt him? I ponder what meaning this note could possibly hold for a while, slumped on the ground like a ragdoll. I fold the note up and place it on my bed, meaning to examine it further later.

But first, I have to pay a friendly visit to a certain short, hazel-eyed, beautiful boy.

Notes

Chapter 5, in which Gee is a clueless idiot.

This chapter is so short, I am ashamed. Not even a thousand words. I am so sorry, hopefully the next chapter will be longer? No promises.
feedback is lovely and magical and beautiful and a gift. ;)

note- this work is also on archiveofourown.com, under the same name. give it some love?
kthnksbye,
XXX MourningGlory XXX