Chapter 15- Frank

Helping Gerard back to his room is slow going to say the least. Even with all of my efforts being channeled into keeping him upright and moving forward while being careful not to spill the cup of water, the larger man’s knees are shaking far too much to support himself. The way we are walking’s also starting to attract the stares of others milling about in the hallway. As more stares fall on us, I discreetly try to pull the back of Gerard’s shirt down past the curve of his ass to hide any… bodily fluids that might have leaked through the worn denim of his pants.
Gerard himself seems to be in a trance, eyes glazed over and dulled. His hair lies limp with sweat and grease over his forehead, pushed to the side to show his face. Whether this is intentional or not I cannot tell nor think is important right now, but it sure is important as hell that I do something, anything, about the fat tears streaming silently down his face.
Still several hallways away from Gerard’s room, I catch sight of a small figure with black hair coming out of a uniform grey doorway. Jamia. She can help. I softly call out to her in the empty hallway, my voice cracking halfway through my plea. “Jamia, I really need your help here, please-”
I stop as soon as her head whips around, and she immediately takes in Gerard’s trembling figure and my strained face. She is at my side in an instant, speaking in her soft and clear worry-laced voice. “Oh my god, Frank, what happened? Did you do something to him?”
I glare at her, carding a hand through my limp from sweat hair and reposition Gerard so he rests higher on my shoulder. His face falls forward limply and I try to take a deep calming breath.
“No, I didn’t fucking do this. Of course I didn’t do anything to him,” I snap at her, quickly realizing my ‘deep, calming breath’ did jackshit. She glares back and speaks in a hushed whisper, as if sensing the severity of this situation. “I didn’t mean it like that, don’t get so defensive. But seriously, if you need help from me, I need to know what happened.” I start to open my mouth to explain how I had knocked Gerard’s ex-boyfriend out in the middle of him raping Gerard, and that he may be looking for us at any moment. But I am stopped when Gerard suddenly stoops down, his face parallel to mine and eyes oh so close, burning with a strange intensity. My thoughts of talking with Jamia are forgotten as he shakes his head, eyebrows creasing slightly, and I know in this moment I cannot tell anyone about Bert or what has happened. I softly stroke the side of Gerard’s face, a nonverbal understanding. He pulls away, back to his state of half animation. I remember that I have to lie about what happened to Jamia, and clear my throat before doing just that.
“He had a bit of an...accident, and I really need your help to get us back to his room and help me clean him up. Please, we’re kind of desperate here,” My voice takes on an edge of hysteria as the seconds face into minutes of standing in this hallway, and Jamia senses this, nodding to herself or me, possibly both at once. She slips herself under the other arm of Gerard, instantly relieving some of the pressure (literally and figuratively) on my shoulders and correcting Gerard’s posture. I shoot her a smile which she returns quietly and we walk through the last few hallways before reaching Gerard’s door.
Jamia holds the door open for me and Gerard to pass through, and I guide Gerard to the bed, seating him softly next to me. I motion to Jamia and she comes to sit on the other side of me, taking the paper cup of water and paper towels from my hands and methodically dampening the brown napkins. I take a deep breath, realizing this is going to be hard for me, possibly traumatizing for gerard, and just downright awkward for Jamia.
Moving off the bed, I lower myself to my knees in front of Gerard, taking his face in my hands softly and getting his attention. I brush the tears still rolling down his face away, leaving only sticky tracks in their place.
“Gee, we need to clean you up, okay? Otherwise it’ll be very...uncomfortable, and your pants are gonna get stained,” I say quietly as if talking to a child, smoothing the inky hair off his cheeks. I mention to Jamia with a slight head nod, “This is Jamia, my friend. She’s gonna help me, cause this is kind of a big job. Are you okay with her being here?”
Gerard glances through his hair at Jamia, who tentatively reaches over to rub soft circles on Gerard’s back. I can feel him flinch slightly but he gives a short, jerky nod and I nod back, more to myself than to him.
I clap my hands lightly onto Gerard’s shoulders, aware of his hypersensitivity to intrusive touches. “Um, your pants need to come off. Do you want to, or…” I trail off as Gerard reaches down with trembling fingers to undo the button and zipper of his denim jeans. Suddenly none of us know where to look, and as Gerard slides off his pants, followed by his boxers (both of which I recognize as mine), there seems to be a twin sigh of slight dread from Jamia and I.
Okay, okay this is progress. I make a slight twist with my hands still on Gerard’s arms and he seems to understand me and turns around, laying down on his stomach with his head pillowed in his forearms.
I sit at the very top of the bed in front of Gerard’s hidden face, and give a small nod to Jamia. She seems to have figured out several minutes ago that Gerard had been raped, and slowly started to dab around his thighs and posterior with a now damp paper towel, washing off the blood and other, more fowl fluids from his pale skin. I watch her face for signs of disgust or surprise, knowing this is far too much to ask her to do, but I know that I weren’t to sit in front of Gerard, so he could see me, this would be too much for him.
A soft sob escapes from Gerard’s lips under his nest of tangled black hair, and I lean down slowly to level myself with his face. He looks up at me with reddened and veined eyes, tear tracks fresh on his skin, and I rest my palms softly and oh so slowly on his face. He pulls me forward my the shoulders suddenly, burying his face in my neck and stifling his sobs. I dimly remember that night where the roles reversed so many weeks ago, when he held me and cried with me as I shook so violently. My eyes burn with tears I harshly blink back, glaring up at nothing, just so angry at the world for this situation we have been placed in, all of us in this godforsaken place. Jamia pretends that nothing has happened, continues wiping steadily.
After many moments of silence the quiet girl clears her throat, prompting me to glance her way. “It’s as good as it’s going to get at this point, but I think it would be best if you just fully bathed, Gerard,” Her speech is decidedly directed at Gerard but her hazel eyes lock with mine and her eyebrows quirk upwards as her lips purse. Her face makes it clear she is not helping me with this next part. I nod slightly to her, rolling my eyes. Gerard makes a small sniffling sound when I pull away from our tight embrace, and I press a chaste kiss to his lips and slowly move us both onto our feet.
I try to find the largest, most ill-fitting pair of pants I brought with me to minimize the contact with any injured or raw areas Gerard has, and I end up handing him a pair of oversized red plaid sweatpants. Jamia sits on the bed with a tired plop, and I can tell this whole ordeal has been draining for her too. She shoos me away when I move to talk to her, and it takes me a second of blinking to realise she wants me to explain this all later. Oh well.
It seems Gerard can stand on his own now, but I lace my fingers in his for reassurance to him and we walk into the hallway. The showers have to be somewhere on this floor.

Notes

in which Jamia is a really good friend and wow gerard+ no pants = awkward as fuck

BOOM A FUCKING CHAPTER. I kept my promise. This time.
we are nearing the end of this fucking rollercoaster, ladies (and gents? do guys read fanfics? if you are male tell me)

I came out to my mom, big mistake. My homosexuality is apparently a "phase" and a "Choice" and "fake". I'm so glad she has this ability to judge me and label me as she pleases with no repercussions. Parenthood.

I will try to get another chapter up within the week.

I relapsed, but then I threw my blades away. cold turkey, yo.

I have a tumblr. my-chemical-cabaret

kthnksbye,
XXX Mourning-Glory XXX