Honey, this Mirror Ain't Big Enough for the Two of Us.

Chapter 9- Gerard/Ray
I…I can’t believe that just happened. My lips feel like they’re on fire, in a good way. He leans closer to me again hesitantly, and I eagerly respond. But as soon as our lips touch for the second time, the door is thrown open and Ray walks in. I panic and quickly pull away, shoving Frankie off my lap. He falls hard on the bed, glaring at me. I try to inconspicuously gesture to Ray while hiding my beet red face between my hair, and he turns around to look behind him. He shouts, “Fuck!” in embarrassment, and resumes a position of casualness.
Ray looks at us, a smug smile on his face. “So, are you ready to talk to me or do you need a minute to compose yourselves?”
Frank laughs a bit too loudly. “I have no idea what you’re talking about, Ray,” He says, his lack of acting skills showing blatantly. I hide my face in my hands, embarrassed at the entire situation.
Ray continues, seeing right through our pitiful excuses. “Well, Frank, both yours and Gerard’s hair is extremely messy, your shirt is hiked up past your bellybutton, your pupils are dilated, you were sitting on Gerard’s lap when I walked in, and your ‘friend’ here is currently hiding his wildly blushing face. So I am pretty sure you do, in fact, have an idea about what I’m talking about.” Frankie looks down in shame. Ray clears his throat, “I’m happy for you two, it’s about time this happened. Just be careful, you need to be protected,” He says, taking on a serious tone. Frank and I both look up at Ray, mortified that he is giving us a speech about this.
We both start to yell at him in unison, “Ray, that is NOT your concern-” “-You think we don’t know what STD’s are?” “You wipe that stupid smirk off your face!-” “-I can’t believe this happened. Oh God.”“-You’re only like ten years older than me anyways, Ray.”
He sits down in between us, holding up his arms. “Shut. Up. I was kidding, no need to go apeshit on me. I won’t tell anyone, okay? Your secret is safe with me.”
I hear Frank exhale in relief, and I, too, release a breath I was not aware I was holding in. Frank quickly asks Ray a question, changing the subject. “So, where were you this morning? I was super late for therapy.”
Ray looks down, fiddling with a button on his doctor’s coat. “I, uh, had to visit someone. An old friend.”
I look at him curiously. “Who’s your friend?” He clears his throat, and speaks in a quiet voice, “Her name was Nia. She was in this same place a few years ago. I brought her flowers.”
Frank keeps speaking, oblivious to Ray’s use of past tense. “Aw, that’s sweet. What does she look like?”
“She’s dead. She committed suicide three years ago, today.”
A heavy silence hangs in the air, and I know that Frank is regretting asking. “…I’m sorry, Ray.”
He looks up, staring through the present to something different.

Ray-
Nia woke up early that day. I didn’t notice how distracted she was. Her hallucinations were getting worse at night, and her reality was blurring into fiction. She didn’t eat, or sleep for the days leading up to it, no matter how much I coaxed her to. I knew she had a past in self-mutilation; her arms were proof enough of that. I never thought I would get that bad for her without her telling me first.
I had brought her her breakfast from the cafeteria that morning, seeing as she was in no state to be around other people. As I opened the door, I called out to her. “Nia, c’mon, gotta wake up now. I brought you food, wanna try eating something?” I looked up, expecting to see her in her bed, curly red hair covering her fitfully sleeping face. I instead saw an empty bed and a smashed window. The tray I was holding crashed to the ground, the plate and cup shattering at contact with the hard floor.
I ran to the window, looking out to the ground below. Her body laid face down, arms and legs bent out at unnatural angles, her neck impaled by a shard of glass. Covered in a pool of blood. I let out a sob, my face contorting in unspeakable grief as I screamed, screamed an inhuman sound that brought other doctors running to see what happened.
Being pulled away from the window. Restrained by strong arms that kept me from her. My fault, all my fault. If I’d just come earlier, she would be here. I could have stopped her. My entire fault. Screaming, fighting. Yelling. Sobbing. Darkness.
They carried her body to the morgue in a black bag. She hated black. Always said it was too depressing and ugly. She was right.
I start at Gerard’s hand on my shoulder, shaking me lightly. I rub my eyes, clearing them of the few tears that have fallen. He exchanges a glance with Frank, communicating in the silence.
I look at them. “She had pale skin, so pale. Dark Brown eyes that reflected the light around her beautifully.Fire engine red dyed hair, black roots showing through. A crooked front tooth that showed when she smiled. A soft and sweet voice, light and airy. I…I loved her,” I say to them as more tears well in my eyes, fighting to escape.
“Her addiction overtook her. She became one with the drug. She needed to escape. There was only one way out… She didn’t leave a note.” I bite my lip aggressively to keep my tears contained, but it is in vain, as they start to trickle down my face.
There is silence for a while, my tears falling. After a while, Gerard clears his throat and begins to speak. “I know how you feel. My brother killed himself when he was fifteen. He was bullied, physically and vocally. I was too busy to notice it. I miss him and blame myself for not being there for him every day. He was the only one who cared.” Gerard puts his arm around me, rubbing my shoulder reassuringly.
He says to me quietly, “Everyone’s got baggage, Ray.” Frank pats my leg comfortingly. I nod silently.
I think back to a few hours ago, when I visited her grave. She would have loved those flowers I left for her. They were in every color I could find.

Except black. She hated black.

Notes

Is this okay? ugh, I hate this chapter. I've written it three times, this is the best draft.
(Nia Lovelis is the fucking hottest btw. Look her up.)
Kthnksforputtingupwithmebyeeeeeeeeee
XXX MourningGlory XXX