The innocence of our being

"You ready to keep going?" My therapist asked me. I took a shaky breath and nodded.
***Flashback***
A few days passed and everyday, all I would think about was Gerard. I would watch him everyday in french class as he drew. I loved watching him draw, He would get so focused on it, almost as if nothing else existed. Today, the French teacher told us to pair up for a word search. I stood up and went straight for him. "Hey, um do you want to be my partner?" I asked him and he looked up at me. He had big glowing hazel eyes. He smiled at me and I saw his tiny teeth. "Yeah, you can sit here." He pointed to the empty desk next to him. I went and sat down. "My name is Frank, by the way." I told him. He giggled. "I know, Frank. The teacher yells at you like every day." I felt my cheeks get hot. He chuckled a bit. "So, how do you like it here? The school, I mean." He didn't look up from his paper. "It's okay, i guess." I nodded my head. I circled a word on my paper and he did the same. "Who's that girl you hang out with everyday? The who wears a rose in her hair everyday?" I looked at him. "Jaymie?" He nodded his head. "Why?" I asked him. "She offered to let me sit at lunch with you guys today." Thank god for Jaymie. "Oh, well are you going to?" I asked. "Yeah, if that's okay with you." I nodded. "Yeah, of course."
We spent the rest of the period working on our worksheets. After class, I walked to my locker and got some books out of it for after lunch. I stopped to talk to my friend Vic for a bit, then headed off to the cafeteria. I saw Jaymie and Gerard sitting at a table talking. I walked over to them and sat down. "Hey guys." I greeted them. They both said hello. "So, I didn't know you knew Gerard, Frank." Jaymie said to me. "Yeah, he's in my French class. She nodded. "How do you know him?' I asked her. "He helped me out. Kellin was being annoying and Gerard told him to leave me alone." She said quietly. I nodded my head.
For the rest of lunch, we sat making small talk about nothing in particular. We all exchanged numbers and said our goodbyes.
After school, I drove home and went up to my room. I pulled my phone out.
To Gerard <3: Hey, It's Frank."
Gerard<3: I know, I have your contact saved
To Gerard<3:Oh...duh. haha so what's up?"
Gerard<3:Just texting you and my boyfriend, Billie.

My heart sank everytime I read that message. He had a boyfriend? Wait... this means he was gay! YES!!! I suddenly got super excited. I jumped up off my bed and started to dance around like a freaking maniac. I jumped on my bed and had a one man mosh. I plopped back down and picked up my phone.
To:Gee<3: Oh, that's cool. Do you want to sit at lunch wuth us again tomorrow?"
Gee<3: Hell yeah, you guys are pretty cool
To Gee<3: Thanks :)
We talked for a while and I finally fell asleep.
***Flashback over***"That's the first time you found out he was gay?" My therapist asked me. I nodded my head. "Frank, how do you feel about all of this?" He asked me. I looked up at him. "Like absolute shit. I miss him like crazy. He was my everything. My whole world revolved around him. I used to thank god everyday for giving him to me and now I cuss him out for taking him away"

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