We reached my destination, Dr. A. Calvin, room 187. “Dr. Calvin will see you in a moment Lena.” She smiled sympathetically, “Good luck.” One thing I hated was peoples sympathy, they always talk to me like I'm the fragile cancer patient and that I could break down at any moment. That was a load of bull crap, all of the teens, children and adults I met who were suffering from cancer were very strong and brave.
I door clicked open and Dr. Calvin walked in. She had tall dark shoulder length hair and stunning blue eyes. She always looked happy and hopeful, but today she looked defeated. “Lena I'm very sorry to inform you.. But your cancer came back again...” I didn't know what to say, I wasn't shocked, this wasn't the first time its happened... But I was still upset. I just wanted to be normal...
“Chemo therapy just doesn't seem to be helping you Lena..” She said sadly. “You can choose to be released or you can chose to stay here and receive chemotherapy even though its not helping..” I didn't know what to say, I felt a small tear roll down my right cheek. “I... I... Should ask Emily..”
I sadly walked towards my car parked in the hospitals 'employe and patient' parking. My parking spot was right in front of the buildings main entrance. I felt horribly nauseous and dizzy as I tried to make my way to the car. It probably wasn't safe for me to be driving, but I didn't want to call home and make Emily drive me.
I felt a rising and searing feeling in my stomach as I vomited partially on my car and on the pavement. Ew, not this again. I just kept puking and puking. Once I stopped vomiting I unlocked my car, making sure to avoid stepping in the puddle of fluids grabbed a paper towel and wiped off my face. At least its not bloody...I said to myself as I glanced down at the puddle of green bile.
Jesus, I didn't even eat that much... I grabbed my phone and opening up the two messages I had from Emily.
Emily: Good luck at your Dr's appointment! <3
Emily: I have to get some groceries okay, I'll be back soon!
Poor Emily, she didn't know what was happening. She actually thought I had a chance, she thought that maybe I would be okay. That's why she's my bestfriend, she's so positive, nice, and supporting. We became best-friends after Mikey introduced us. Mikey, Emily and I were the three stooges. We were always getting into trouble, but always having fun.
Emily and Mikey's parents were like my parents. Mikey's older brother Gerard became my older brother. Emily's parents felt like they owed me some kind of debt after I helped their daughter overcome her depression.
I was always their for Emily and Mikey and they were always their to comfort me too... I slept over at Emily's a lot when I got older after my dad kicked me out when I was sixteen. Emily's parents didn't mind, they treated me like I was their daughter.
Emily's parents moved on to another town but couldn't bare to separate Emily and I, so they let us stay here and agreed to pay half the rent on our apartment. Emily and I use to both work at Urban Planet, but I had to quit... Its hard to go to chemo and balance a job and go to college at the same time.
I cranked to volume up on the radio trying to distract myself from my thoughts. I have led a great life, but I miss the days when everything was normal.. When I didn't have to worry about whether or not I was going to survive another year or month or day. The song 'Come as You Are' by Nirvana came on and I started singing along softly. This was one of me and Mikey's favorite songs...
A familiar song came on, I recignized it. It was Gerard's voice. I knew this song... What was it again... I think the song was 'The World Is Ugly.' Its a beautiful song. Even though Mikey was apart of My Chemical Romance, I loved the band so much.
“I hope all of you enjoyed that song!” The radio announcer beamed happily. Maybe a little bit too happy. “Theirs a rumor going around right now, that Mikey Way actually wrote that song about someone he left back home here in Belleville. But anyways, after this break we will play some Pierce The Veil!”
I turn down the radio before the announcer had any time to play the commercials. Don't get me wrong, Pierce the Veil is one of my all time favorite bands, but I just needed sometime to think... Maybe this song was about me...
Is that even possible..? Would he... Does he miss me? I was shocked and sad. I pulled my car into the underground parking area and walked up the stairs to my apartment. “Em. I'm home...” I said, no response from her. Oh right... I remembered. She's at the store...
I got ready to take a shower, but picked up my guitar and started singing. Something I did only when I was alone. I started singing a song about my cancer,
Turn away,
If you could get me a drink
Of water 'cause my lips are chapped and faded
Call my aunt Marie
Help her gather all my things
And bury me in all my favorite colors,
My sisters and my brothers, still,
I will not kiss you,
'Cause the hardest part of this is leaving you...
Now turn away,
'Cause I'm awful just to see
'Cause all my hairs abandoned all my body,
Oh, my agony,
Know that I will never marry,
Baby, I'm just soggy from the chemo
But counting down the days to go
It just ain't living
And I just hope you know...

Notes

Hey!
I hope you enjoy this chapter as much as I enjoyed writing it! Now that finals are done, I can finally write! *few* Anyways, I wasn't really expecting eight subscribers already wow! You guys are the coolest 8) Keep commenting, rating, and subscribing!
xoxo,
The Ghost Of You
PS: Yes, I know Gerard did write Cancer, but I wanted to change it up a little, you'll see! :* trust me bros. xD