Lock the door

Frank P.O.V

Breathing hurt, but mildly. Like a chilli pepper had gone down the wrong way. It sounded like someone else was having trouble with the same chilli, but it wasn't me. The voice was disconnected, sounding a little lost. I felt like comforting the voice, it sounded like a puppy. A baby pug. They sounded like that, all breathy and crying. This one was searching for someone, crying out but only managing to make stupid little panting moans. I felt an urge to hug it, tell it everything was alright even though that probably wasn’t true.

Hugging it involved finding it right? I couldn’t find it with my eyes closed. I opened my eyes. Or, I would've, but there didn't seem to be eyes to open. There was just nothingness. It wasn't a void. There was nothing for there to be an absence of. It threw me off kilter, 'cuz I mean like, what the fuck. Had there been anything but this? I tried to think but I couldn't. Patchy feelings, snippets of a life seemed to flow past me, a something within nothing. Oh yeah. The school. Everything had turned to dust then? No. I'd walked... Home maybe. Home meant hurt though. I didn't feel pain. I hoped Gerard wouldn't find me again. I didn't want to cause him more pain.

Suddenly the pug cried out pathetically, right next to my ear. I tried to flinch, but flinch from what? To where? How? There was no depth, no orientation. My head hurt and things spun. No. I, what? who- me. where, gone. no. end. no. Empty.
Empty.
Everything was empty.
Gone.
Except for a shadow. It was there, and had always been there, but hadn't been there a second ago. It got brighter, stark against a light background as the space around me began to fill.

Shadow, in front.
Table, beside.
The room came into focus. There were walls and ceilings! And floors! Dear god, I'd never been so glad to see a piece of grey linoleum. I tried to get up, to kiss the faded beige paint and murmur sweet nothings to its solid, real, there, surface. The thing was, my legs didn't seem so eager to meet my new soulmate. They kinda of flopped rather than walked.

I frowned when the shadow caught me. I was pretty sure shadows weren't solid. Not like walls. I gazed longing at the nearby baseboard. Wait- floors are solid too! I pushed off the arm holding and flopped gratefully down. Approximately five seconds into my acquaintance with the floor, I noticed three things.
One, the floor smelled like cheesy feet and worse.
Two, it wasn't exactly standard to wish to make out with walls.
And Three, it wasn’t just a shadow.

I looked up, haltingly, into Gerard's eyes. I was lying on fucking floor that smelled like a fungi hotub, and I had no idea how I'd gotten home. And, fuck, it felt like my tongue had been caught in a chainsaw. When I tried to speak, my eyes began to blur. A thousand words of pain were contained in the salt that coated my chin and mixed cocktails with the iron in my mouth.
I wasn't supposed to let Gerard see me like this.

Notes

I kind of like this chapter. I like writing dream like states. maybe I should be evil and make him fall into a coma or something... :D
ANYWAY super sorry again for the whole not updating thing to any of you that like this. same thing about my other stories too, ugh.
and, as usual, THANYKOU FOR READING
also, what's with the whole rating thing? I mena, its not that much effort but it seems a rare thing. I rate pretty much every fic I read, but most of the ones I read have way more subscribers than raters which seems a little backwords or something. oh whatev, I'll shut up.