Lock the door

Frank P.O.V

It had been two months since the, ah, incident. I was still pretty screwed up mentally but Gerard helped me cope, pulling me from the brink on a daily basis. He had gotten me speaking with Ray and the others on a normal basis and I could pretend to be normal. But sometimes I think his helping hurt me. I would feel on top of the world (GERARD IS KISSING ME), and then something would happen and suddenly I would be begging to die or crying uncontrollably. Dealing with the mood swings hurt me, and it hurt him. I hate remembering the face he made when he found me curled up on the floor, the start of a suicide note in my hand. It had been dark and closed off, he’d scared the living shit out of me with his quiet, calmly crazy demeanour.

I was scared. I was living with him, and he cared about me and I loved him, wanted to make him happy for it, but all I could do was mess him up. I had hurt, Mikey, him, Ray and Bob so badly. I didn’t deserve to live.

I also didn’t deserve to get kicked out of highschool.
“But- But I have almost perfect grades! You can’t fucking do this!”
“Mr.Iero, I’m afraid I can and will. You’ve been absent for almost a month and have been causing disruptions in class. I can’t put all my students at risk just because of one person, Mr.Iero.”
Fuck it, she wasn’t even pronouncing my name right. I stared at her with desperate eyes, chewing on my lip so hard it began to bleed.
“Please, I’m really not a danger to other students! I haven’t done anything.”
“You may not be a physical danger, but you are a danger to our learning environment and our student’s mentalities.”
“That’s total bullshit! Most of them don’t give a rat's ass about me, and the ones that do were fucked up before they met me.”
“Mr.Iero! swearing is certainly not helping your case.”
My hands curled tightly into fists at my sides, my breathing becoming heavier as I fought a rising tide of anger. I bit down even harder on my lip, liking the pain.
“You gave me the impression there wasn’t even a case. I’m just kicked out, left for the dogs and that’s it. I’m nothing to you aren’t I?” I spoke tightly, my eyes prickling with hurt and… And a little sadness.
“Of course you aren’t nothing! It’s just that sometimes we’re forced to make difficult choices and-”
“Oh shut up. I know, I know, superiors yada yada yada. Can’t you do something for your fucking self!?”
“If it were my choice I would’ve kept you in. But its the district superintendents choice, and I can’t overturn that no matter how much I want to, Mr. Iero.”
I wanted to overturn the table or something, throw all the papers on the floor and beat my fists until I bled. But I didn’t. I just slumped back in my chair, letting my head loll back so I could stare at the ceiling. That fucking ugly ceiling. I wish it would break, along with everything else. Just crumble into dust so I couldn’t see it anymore. I imagined a wind sweeping through, blowing away all the people, all the dirty buildings and leaving nothing but golden dust motes where cities once stood.

When I opened my eyes though, everything still stood. I blinked and exhaled slowly, fancying that I could see my soul leaving my body. I sat up and looked at her, knowing it wasn’t her fault. It was this messed up shitty ass fucking society.
“Are you alright Mr.Iero?”
I laughed bitterly, twisting my lips into a pale ghost of a grin.
“Yeah, I’ll be fine I guess. Thanks for giving me the news at least.”
I shuffled out of the office, walking back down the halls. I tried to stand up straight, to put up some semblance of living. I’m not sure it worked.

--X--

Mrs. Tenar, the principle, watched as Frank left the front doors. He looked broken, resigned to being nothing. She cursed loudly, leaning her head on the window. If he’d gotten angry, if he’d flipped the table or something it would’ve been easier to forget him, to not feel as guilty. But when she’d seen him try to smile, she’d wanted to cry. She slumped down against the wall, struggling with mixed emotions. She was a single mom, she couldn’t afford to lose her job. But she couldn’t just let it go after seeing Frank die inside like that. He’d been a good kid.
She’d seen him hurt before, but he’d never broken. She rubbed her eyes tiredly.
“Mrs. Tenar?”
she straightened up in shock, she couldn’t let herself be seen like this.
When she opened the door to talk to the secretary, she was smiling.
"How may I help you?"

Notes

Sorry for the short boringish chapter, but its nessecary (how do you spell that? I always forget). I've been depressed lately and the story is going to reflect that mood probably. I also now have an Idea for how to continue this, so I'll actually update. How does staging a revolution sound?