hell is all cages & screams of the doomed

***** Emilys POV *****

I ran and I ran and I ran. I never stopped crying. I never stopped running. I always knew this day would come. I always knew he didn't love me! I always knew he loved her!! why?! why must life be so cruel. why must I have fell in love? why couldn't I have just had no feelings for him?!

I ran for about 10 minutes before arriving at the place I used to call home. I walked through the front door and into the bathroom. Kat must not be here or I would have seen her car in the drive way.

I closed the toilet lid and sat on it. head in my hand and I kept crying.

he never loved me. he used me to distract him. why must life be this way? so cruel. so full of lies and the people that use the lies to trick others.

my thoughts started dropping through a black hole. I felt as if my whole body was being sucked in. I had nothing I could do to stop it. I just fell. and fell.

I couldn't help but think what would happen if I just left... life has no purpose. we are all dying from the moment we are born. nothing we do can stop it. we are just like a flower. created then dying the moment we live.

maybe I should just speed up the process... maybe I should leave... no one would miss me... no one would cry for me. no one ever cared. and I know Gerard and Jade wouldn't even care if I burned down this house. they are to stuck in each others love. the love that was once mine. but no longer is.

they say we are all created for a reason. but I don't see mine. maybe it was to learn betrayal. because if it is... I have learnt it. and my time on this world is over.

no one will miss me. no one will cry for me. no one will bury me. no one will notice I'm gone. so why don't I just end it? I know no one will even try to save me.

I come back to my senses and lock the bathroom door. I walk over to the cabinet and pull out a blade. this will work perfectly.

I drag the blade softly over the topper half of my right arm. feeling droplets of blood drop from my arm. and I just want more.

so I drag it hard across my arm watching the blood poor out like a waterfall. it feels so nice to know I will be free. free from this curse of a body. free from all the pain.

I write on the mirror with my blood 'Free' and drag the blade heavily over my wrists. I start to hear crashing on the bathroom door but just ignore it. I feel free. free from all the pain. free from every thing. free from it all. I drag the blade heavily over my wrists before saying 2 words. My last words before I start falling through the black abyss once again.

"Good Bye"

Notes

well Im sorry if this is kinda deep. :P I don't know why but I was just feeling this way.

I kept thinking why we live? what's out purpose? would we be missed? do we even have a purpose? why is life so cruel? is it better to never love? what would it feel like to die? is it nice? what does it feel like to drag a blade across your skin and watch the blood flow away?

I don't know why but I just feel that way right now. don't be worried I wont kill myself or cut but I just some times wonder what it would feel like.

well also im sorry its been 4 days :P but I will see you people later.

magic out--