Give Me a Reason to Believe

"Hi." I replied taking hold of his outstretched hand and shaking it. "It's really nice to meet you."
"Likewise." He smiled when I released his hand.
I looked at both Gerard and Lindsey, waiting for either one of the to bring up a topic of conversation. I wanted them to say something, anything would've been fine with me as a matter of fact.
Mikey too shifted his gaze towards then also in anticipation for any possible conversation topic. The four of us stood there awkwardly staring at each other unsure of what should and shouldn't be said. I'm sure Mikey had a million questions, the first probably being "Why did you try and steal from my brother's house." then the second would probably be him asking Gerard why he decided to adopt a thief. That was one question who's answer I was eager to hear but did not anticipate hearing it anytime soon.
"So ummm...Happy birthday Charlotte. How old are you now?" He said awkwardly running his hand through hair.
"17" I stated flatly.
"Oh that’s really cool. Are you looking forward to starting school yet? I mean it is senior year. That's exciting."
"Yeah I guess so. I mean schools, school. Every year people say they're going to make this one better than the last and that they won't be make stupid decisions again. We always set high expectations for the new school year but they always turn out the same in the end. They all end up being just disappointing as the last. So I'm pretty sure it'll mostly be the same."
"How so?" Gerard interjected after Lindsey motioned us to the dining room. Dinner was finally ready.
Gerard, Bandit, Mikey and I gathered at the table. As we sat Lindsey went around handing us plates ready served. I watched as every one received a plate and also thought carefully about how I was going to answer Gerard's question. When Lindsey was seated I glanced at Gerard. I was half expecting him to look at me in anticipation for an answer but he never did. He was whispering something to Mikey. I couldn't make out any words but I had a suede uncomfortable feeling that they were talking about me.
"So what did you mean by this year will be somewhat different."
'Damnit' I thought to myself. 'He really wanted to hear an answer from me.'
"Well for one," I said clearing my throat."I'm living in an actual house with a family and room that I don't have to share."
Gerard eyed Lindsey who smiled subtly at him.
"And second," I continued," This year I'll actually have at least one friend. Other than that everything will basically be the same."
The table lapsed into an awkward silence. I saw Lindsey's smile disappear and was replaced with pity. Pity, everyone pitied me and I hated it. I got enough pity from teachers who thought I acted out because of my troubled past and that I had no friends. I didn't need any from the family I was set to live with.
"To a year of changes." Mikey smiled holding up his glass.
"A year of changes." Lindsey and Gerard said in unison both holding their glasses up.
"A year of changes." I mumbled half ass. "Hopefully."
As dinner dragged on, Mikey was the one to keep me taking and interested. He seemed like the type of person who, even if he didn't understand things, he wouldn't try to for the sake of the other person. He was also very passionate about a lot of things, music being one. His passion reminded me of that of Gerard and I understood how and why they were so protective of one another. I appreciated that he was careful not to bring up certain topics and noticed when I got uncomfortable. He asked me a lot about my future and what I wanted to do with my life. It was a question I had never been asked before nor something I had ever thought of before. I was always more of a live in the now type of person. When I answered his question with 'I don't know" he looked at me curiously then nodded. He never brought up the topic again, he might have forgotten about it but I never did.
After Happy Birthday was sung and the cake was cut, which tasted fabulous, Gerard set Bandit to bed. She was fussy about it at first but complied when Lindsey and Gerard agreed to tuck her into bed. The three of them disappeared leaving me alone with Mikey.
"I know you probably don't want to hear this. Shit you probably won't even believe me but I don't care." Mikey began. "You probably have been living her for the past few weeks thinking this is all some type of game. That Gee and Lindsey have some sick and twisted hidden agenda for adopting you. I can promise you here and now, even after only meeting you a few hours ago that, that is not the case. Gee's talked to me on the phone about you and I could already tell how much you mean to him.
He cares for you a lot. I know this because he talks about you the way he used to talk about the band. Whether you realize it or not you are important to them and they will do anything to ensure you make it through this year okay.
“He’s trying to treat you like his own flesh and blood but you keep pushing back. You’re pushing everyone who’s trying to show you any type of compassion away. In the end it’s going to hurt you more than it hurts them. You need to realize this before it’s too late. I know it’ll take time because of whatever landed you in that orphanage but you’re not there anymore. That’s all in the past I know it’ll be hard but you have to try to get past it. Once you do, I promise you’ll start to see things a whole lot differently.
“When that day comes we’ll all be here. You’re our family now, and in this family we would die for each other. Our bonds run deep because of the stuff we’ve lived through. It drew us closer together rather than farther apart. Please let that be the case for you. Just stop pushing everyone away.”
I stared at Mikey. I was a loss for words, he basically just threw everything out on the table for me to see. No one had every done that to me before. Everything is always sugar coated around me. They just accepted that I wouldn’t change. It was to the point where I started to believe I wouldn’t ever change.
Here was Mikey though, sitting across for me, his eyes full of sympathy and honesty telling me different. For once in my life I was being told different.
“I do-” I was cut off before I could finish because Lindsey and Gerard rejoined us at the table.
I looked up at them then I turned my gaze back to Mikey. He was still looking at me. I wondered if Gerard had any idea what Mikey just revealed to me. If he did he was great at hiding it. He didn’t seem to notice my body tense when they stood next to me.
“I should probably get going too” Mikey said standing up. “Dinner was wonderful Lindsey thank you.”
I stood up from the table and followed as Gerard and Lindsey let Mikey to the door. He and Gerard were talking about getting together sometime next week. After they both exchanged goodbyes Mikey turned to me.
“I almost forgot this is for you.” He said pulling an envelope out of his pocket and handing it to me. I tentatively took the envelope in my hand and turned it over. One the front it read Happy Birthday. I looked backup at him and his again outstretched hand. Almost on impulse I threw my arms around him and hugged him. His body stiffened at the sudden hug which was clearly unexpected by everybody in the room. When the initial shock wore of he too wrapped his arms around me and hugged me back.
“Thank you.” I said when I pulled out of the hug.
“Don’t mention it. After all you are my new niece.” He smiled jokingly. Gerard and Lindsey were looking at me wide-eyed and hardly paid any attention to Mikey when he walked out the front door.
Once he was gone I cleared the table all while still holding his card in my hand. I had no intention of putting it down.
“You didn’t have to clean the table.” Lindsey commented. “It’s your birthday. You are exempt from chores today.”
“Thank you for today. For everything” I said looking between Gerard and Lindsey. “Thank you”
‘Thank you too Mikey’ I thought as I walked back to my room. ‘Thank you for showing me I have a reason to believe in love again.”

Notes