It Started With An Alright Scene

Gerard's Pov
I was sobbing uncontrollably. Why would he wan't to end his life? I'm sure the breakup wasn't that hard on him. It couldn't of been. When i finally controlled my crying, I got up and went out to my car. I drove to the hospital, not listening to Pencey Prep like i usually did. I listened to the silence. I never noticed how the quiet could make me feel like i was going insane. I wished i was going insane. I wished that all of this was some strange hallucination brought on by some mental illness.
When i got to the hospital, I went to the front desk. The lady sitting behind a computer eyed me suspiciously. "May i help you?" She asked me. "Frank Iero. What room is he in?" She hesitantly typed something into her computer. "Your Gerard way, Right?" I nodded my head. "I hope you don't mind me saying this, but I think that you and Frank's relationship was very sweet." I gave her a confused look. "I know you broke up with him so he wouldn't go to jail. He told me about it. I've been his nurse. By the way, hun, he's in room 242." I whispered a thanks to her and walked to the elevator. I went to floor two and looked for room 242. When i found it, i knocked on the door. I hear a faint "Come in" and opened the door. When i saw frank, my heart broke. He had dark red marks around his neck and he was laying in the hospital bed in a gown, with ivs going into his arms. He looked up at me. "Gee?" I hesitantly walked towards him. "Yeah, Frankie. Its me." His eyes went wide and he had an angry expression on his face. "GET OUT! I HATE YOU!" The beeping of his heart monitor started to go really fast. Nurses came rushing in. I just stood there in shock. "Get him out of here! I don't want him in here! LEAVE, GERARD!" The nurses started to pull me out of the room. When i was out, they closed the door. I leaned against the wall and started to cry, for the millionth time today. Ten minutes later, the nurse that was at the desk came over and sat on the floor next to me. "Gerard, Its okay. He's just a bit stressed right now. He didn't mean what he said." I shook my head and looked up at her. "Did he tell you that?" She looked down at the floor. "No, he didn't. But before you came here, he kept telling me how much he loved you and to tell you that he's sorry that he screwed everything up." "He didn't screw anything up... I did." i said with my voice barely above a whisper. She didn't look like she heard me, so i stood up off of the floor and left. I can't stand hospitals. Everything about them scares me. I'm always scared that if they find out i'm slightly off center, they will send me to a mental hospital.
After i'm back in my car, i turn on the radio. Hear you me by Jimmy eat world is playing. I turn it up and lay my head on the steering wheel. I cant cry. I'm trying to, but i just cant. I don't think i have any tears left to let fall. After the song is over, I lift my head and try to buckle my seat belt. After it's buckled, i drive to my house. When i get there, I just go into my room and lay down. I know i wont be able to sleep. I cant sleep in this bed. The only bed iv'e been able to sleep in is Frank's, So i just lay there. It hurts me so much to think of what Frank said to me today. It makes me want to cry, but i cant. Before i even realize what i'm doing, im out of my bed and walking toward the bathroom. I open the cabinet. I pull out bottle after bottle after bottle. I open them all and started to swallow each and every single pill dry. After they are all gone, I stumble back into my room and lay down on my bed. I deserve this. I did all of this to Frank. I was the reason he was sent to jail the first time and almost a second time. I made him want to kill himself. I made him hate me. I did all of it, and i don't want to do anymore.

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