Never Coming Home

Gerard's POV

I'm out of that bed and into the room as soon as I hear the first scream. I see Mikey's body, half covered in a thin blanket and the world seems to be spinning around me. I feel light headed for a second. Susan turns around, seeing me and helps me out of the room, but I turn around, freeing myself from her grip.
Ray is holding Hannah back with all of his strength. She's weeping her eyes out, screaming, trying to run to her past lover's corpse. She manages to break a free grip and runs over, hugging Michael's body for a few seconds, but Ray pulls her back again.
"But I could feel his heartbeat! I tell you, he's still alive!"
My heart sinks. She's in denial.
"HE'S NOT DEAD!"
"Susan," says Ray, as calmly as he can. "Please go get me a sedative."
"NO!" screams Hannah, struggling. Susan leaves the room for a minute and quickly returns with a syringe, plunging the needle into her arm, injecting the sedative.
Hannah fights for another few seconds, before the sedative manages to knock her out. Ray lifts her and carries her out of the room.
Susan quickly covers up the body but I'm already thinking too deeply into everything, remembering too many things I should've chosen to forget. But I chose not to forget.

Flashback

I'm not in the hospital anymore, I'm outside, on the battlefield. My horrors are surrounding me once again. But I see Frank is with me in the trenches. Mikey is in a hole dug into the ground on the other side, hidden from view.
It's freezing out here, but you wouldn't be able to tell. All of the fear and adrenaline is mixing, making you hot. The gunshots are deafening. I hear every shot, and it feels like every sound is hitting me in my body. I hear the shouts from the other soldiers around me, the commands from our commanders. But I look up and see something else, Michael's running out in the open.
"MICHAEL!" I shout. He's heading for these trenches, but he isn't going to make it past. I know it.
My fears come true. I hear the gunshot louder than other the others, it hits him in the chest. "NO!" I shout, I get up to run towards him, but a bullet is aimed at my head, and it misses me by inches. Frank has to hold me down on the ground.
"Gerard, don't!" he shouts. I'm struggling against him with all my might. But he's already got the upper hand, and all I can do is watch in pain as Michael shouts out in suffering, and Ray struggles to save him, against all odds. The gunshots aren't directed at him any more, the other side already knows he's dying. I continue to try and escape from Frank's grip, but it's no use.
My eyes widen as it dawns on me that my brother, my own flesh and blood, is no longer living...

"Gerard? Gerard!"
I hear the female voice of Susan, and she snaps me out of my living nightmares.
"It was horrible!" I shout, tears forming in the inner corners of my eyes. She closes me in on a hug, a sympathetic expression on her face.
"It's okay, it's okay. You're safe here now."
She must have dealt with this many times before. The warmth of her hug brings me further from the cold feel of war I was just experiencing.
"Let's go back to your bed, now." concern is showing in her eyes, and she helps me walk back into my hospital room, laying me back on the bed, pulling the covers back up.
"It's okay...it's all over. Take your medicine." she opens up a few capsules and pours the powder into a glass of water, stirring it until it dissolves. She walks over to me and hands me the glass. I drink thirstily, enjoying every sip.
Eventually I feel tired, and decide to fall asleep for a little while. I close my eyes, and wait for the nightmares to hit.

*********

I wake up when I hear two voices from outside the room. One of them is Susan's. I don't even have to listen for two seconds to know who the second voice is.
"Miss, please, I'm afraid I can't permit you to go in there."
"You listen here, sweetie. My lover's in that room and I am not going to wait another minute until I see him. I don't need any recognition from someone like you."
Lucy Cormen. Frank's lover. And as I predicted, she bursts through the door, running to the end of Frank's bed.
"Frank." she whispers in his ear. "I'm here, darling."
and unbelievably, I see Frank's eyes begin to move under the sockets. He eventually manages to open them and look around the room for a few seconds.
"L-lucy?" he looks up at her.
"Oh, Frankie." she says, kissing his on the cheek, leaving a prominent mark from her bright red lipstick.
"Where am I?" he asks.
"You're in the hospital. I just came in for a visit."
It suddenly dawns on him, as he remembers everything that happened, that Michael's dead. He gives me a sympathetic gaze for a second, but I give him a dismissive look, telling him to enjoy his time with Lucy.
"Gerard?" says Susan, walking over to me.
"Yes?"
"While you were sleeping, I've been told you have a letter."
I furrow my eyebrows, and she hands me a tattered, old brown envelope.
"Apparently it's from Clara Harwen." she says.
My gaze drops, for a second. This letter must be old if it's from Clara.
"Do you...know who she is?" she asks, curiously.
"Yes. Clara Harwen was my old lover. She's died.

Notes