Never Coming Home

Gerard's POV

I don't believe it. No, I really don't. They're probably just lying to make me feel better, or something. I laugh. "You're joking."
"No, she's not." says Susan.
"How, then?" I raise an eyebrow in question. I don't find it very possible.
"You don't think I'm Alice?" say the child, looking up at me.
"No." I say. "It's not very plausible in the scenario."
"Alright then. How would I know that my mother was called Clara Harwen. She had bright blue eyes and light brown hair, published a book before the war started and gave me away?"
They words leave her voice confidently, she couldn't of heard that from Susan, I never told Susan that she published a book, or what she looked like.
"How did you-"
"Jaquie told me."
I literally just stand there for a second, saying nothing. The shock hits me like bricks, but my expression doesn't change. "I see."
Susan's smile falters. "Gerard could I see you for a second?" she says.
I nod blankly, and we walk back into our room. "Why aren't you happy?" she says to me, genuine concern glinting in her eyes.
"Of course I'm happy, I just didn't expect it."
"You don't look happy."
I don't say anything, I just stare out into space.
"Gerard Way you are going to tell me what's wrong right now or I swear to God I will get us a plane ticket home tomorrow."
"It's really nothing, I shouldn't even be complaining."
"Complaining? I just found the one thing you came all this way for? How is there any possible way you could be complaining?"
"I just...wasn't prepared."
"Prepared?"
"She reminds me of...her."
Susan tenses a little bit at the mention of Clara. I don't know why, is it a woman thing? I don't know.
"Is that it?"
"You don't know..."
"I never know, do I? I'm sorry that I've never had a lover die, Gerard! I'm sorry that I've never gone to war! I'm sorry I can't be Clara for you! That's all you ever talk about! Clara, Clara, Clara! That's it isn't it? Clara! Even when I find the one thing you came all the way to another country in hard times like this to find."
And I don't respond. There's silence. But then I hear a tiny voice speaking from the other room through the door.
"Did I say something?" she whispers to Frank and Lucy. I walk over to the door and see Lucy kneeling down, giving her a hug from the side. "No." she says. "Gerard's just a bit peeled."
She nods, and I turn back to Susan. "What do I have to do, Gerard?" she says. "What do I have to do to make you happy? Nothing's ever good enough is it?"
I mumble to her. "All I said was I needed to make sure she was alive. I just needed someone I love to be alive."
"What about me?"
"Of course, but-"
"But? But what?"
"Listen-"
"No, you listen. You are going to go do something with that child for one hour. If you're still unhappy after that, then tell me."
I sigh. "Alright. But what?"
"Go in the kitchen I'll make you two a drink. Just TALK."
"Fine."
I sigh and walk outside our room, back into the living room. Susan's still in our room, her arms crossed in frustration.
"Somebody's on their cycle..." says Frank. Susan darts him a sharp look and he looks down, whistling.
"Come on." I say, gesturing to Alice. "You like coffee?"
"Yes."
And with that we walk into the kitchen, closing the door. "Susan could make us some coffee soon. She said she would."
"Ahh."
But the only bad part about this idea is I'm not good with conversations. AT all.
"So...you seem to speak English pretty well..."
"Do I?"
"Yeah? Do you...only speak German and English?"
"No."
"What do you speak?"
"English, Dutch, French, Spanish, and Latin."
"Impressive."
"Thanks..."
And then the hiatus...what do you say to your daughter that you just met?
"I heard every word, if you want me to leave, I'll be on my way right now."
I look down at her, not saying anything. I really do see Clara in her. I don't know why I didn't recognize it before. And with that she turns and begins walking away.
"Wait." I say.
"Yes?" she turns back to face me.
"...You look a lot like your mother."
Her eyes soften when I say this.
"Sorry for your loss." she says. It's obvious what she means.
"Isn't it half yours, too?"
"I never knew her."
"Never?"
"No. I've seen old photographs, but that's been it."
"I'm sorry about your loss, too."
"My loss?"
"Jacqueline."
Her eyes drop. "Oh, yes, Jacquie."
" I can relate to you."
"You can?"
"Yes." we both sit down at the table. "I never had a mother either."
"Really?"
"Yes. Only a father, but he was never very bright."
She chuckles. Maybe we have a bit more in common than I thought. A new adventure away form this hell we reside in...

Notes

I hope you guys enjoy this chapter, even though it isn't very good, it's in that stage of writers block so I might just be using raw material for a while, sadly. Anyways, Happy reading ^_^