***Rosalie’s POV***

I was inconsolable for the first few hours after he left. Danny had found me and carried me to my dorm, where he gave me a warm blanket and a cup of tea. I couldn’t speak, but I thanked him with my gestures. His face was void of emotions as he laid me in my bed and left.

I ended up just lying there for two days. I only got up to pee or eat. And I didn’t do that often.

When I was finally able to move my body, I found that all the CDs he gave me were gone. Our pictures were gone. Even the drawing of his eye.

And the ring.

This landed me in bed again for the next couple hours.

The next weeks were unbearable. I had gone to the campus clinic and was told to just get bed rest. I was excused from classes indefinitely, but work was still sent to me via email. I usually did the work to keep my mind from wandering.

One evening I decided to look at myself in the mirror. I screamed when I did.

My face had lost its’ roundness; my cheeks now looked hollow. My eyes looked tired, dead. I had visibly gotten skinnier, and to be honest I looked sick.

I ended up on the floor, crying.

It was now nearing Halloween, and I was at the brink of just giving up. My depression had taken my body by full force, and it wasn’t pretty. Every single thought was negative: “Kill yourself. Cut. Go die. Why would a man like Gerard love a bitch like you?”

The urge to harm myself was overbearing. Inside I was screaming to release the pain, to feel something other than this numbness. And I gave in.

My cat now looked like it had climbed a very strange latter that oozed red paint. I stood over the sink, water running cold. I gazed up at my white eyes and knew this would be the end of me.

I shouldn’t be so attached to Gerard. It’s borderline psycho. But something about him made me full, and I felt like a person again around him. Now I feel empty.

I wondered if he ever thought about me as the water turned red.

---

I sat on the couch in a long sleeve sweater and sweatpants, waiting for the heat to kick in. It was unbearably cold in here, maybe because of how skinny I was. There was a knock on the door and my heart almost stopped. Slowly, I got up and shuffled over to the door.

“Who’s there?” I croaked. My voice sounded strange to me.

“It’s Danny. Can you open up?” He said, sounding worried. I sighed, I really didn’t need a lecture of how much people felt sorry for me right now. This was my fault.

I twisted the knob and pulled open the door. Danny stood there, looking anxious. When he saw my face his eyes bulged for just a second, but went back to normal. Anger also shot across his face, which surprised me.

“Come in, dude.” I said, trying to sound casual, but I ended up sounding like a panicked cat. He bit his lip and walked past me onto the couch. I followed, sitting in a pile of blankets.

“Sorry I didn’t check on you earlier… how are you doing, Rose?” He asked, rubbing his hands together. I could see worry in his eyes, but also… pain…?

“It’s fine, Danny. I’m ok. “ My voice cracked, making my lie even more stupid.

“Rosalie… I hate seeing you like this. I know we’re only just friends but you look…” He couldn’t even finish his sentence. He looked away, clearing his throat.

“Danny, it’s nobody’s fault but mine. Don’t worry about me.” I whispered. Without warning, he pulled my frail body into a hug. My throat tightened, but his warm skin also comforted me. Before I knew what I was doing I broke down into tears.

“Shh, Rosie. It will be alright.” He cooed, rubbing my bony back. For the first time in forever, my heart seemed to beat again. The open wound twitched, trying to close.

The rest of the day Danny spent at my dorm. I talked to him about everything (besides my self-harm) and he listened.

When he left, I felt my life drain away again.

Notes

The next few chapters will be short, longer ones will come after this mayhem

Poor Rose.

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