Pay the price

When I woke up I felt horrible. Gerard had tried to drag me out of the shower but I kept yelling at him and we got into a pretty big fight.

It ended pretty badly too.

/Flashback/

"daddy?" Nathan asked running into our room obviously being woken up from his nap by our screaming, only wearing a pull up and holding a stuffed animal in one hand.

I guess me and gerard just didn't want to stop yelling at each other over basically nothing and mikey had went to buy something a couple minutes ago so no one was watching nathan.

"frank I'm trying to help you can you not be an ass!" Gee yelled

"I don't want your help I'm fine!" I yelled back not wanting to hear any of his bullshit

"you're a fucking whore! You won't even listen to me anymore! You need help!" He screamed "you're crying for no reason in a five hundred degree shower! something's wrong!"

"daddy?!" Nathan yelled a little louder this time trying to get our attention.

"Fuck you I'm not a whore! I'm fine!" I said with tears streaming down my face.

"thats all you ever were! A stupid fucking who-"

"DADDY!" Nathan finally screamed and gerard stopped mid sentence and turned to Nathan.

"SHUT THE FUCK UP DADDYS BUSY!" Geard screamed angrily scaring me and Nathan.

Gerard almost instantly realized what hed done and ran over to Nathan to apologize but Nathan just ran and locked himself in his room.

Geard came stomping back to our room and then he did something I'd never expect. He hit me.

He slapped me hard and then spat in my face
"this is all your fucking fault." He hissed and then went to bed without saying anything.

I didnt want want to sleep with him or even be near him at that point I was so upset, so I left the house and went to an old motel I used to have clients come to meet me. I got a room and then went to bed after crying. Because he was right this was all my fault.

/present time/

I just laid on the shitty motel bed watching tv and wallowing in self pity. I just kept thinking about what he said. How it was my fault and how I was a whore.

I'm not a whore is what I keep telling myself but I know in reality I am. I've probably fucked more men than Hugh Hefner has fucked girls.

I dont even even know why Gerard would go near my junk or want to fuck me other than to just simply get off. Not because he loves me not because he wants to bond just because he needs a whore to make him feel good.

my phone ringing threw me out of my thoughts.

"Hello?"

"Frank where are you?!" A very worried sounding Gerard asked frantically.

"I don't know, a place." I said expressing no emotion.

"Frankie please where are you I need you to come home." He asked again.

"Hm that sucks." I said not paying any attention to him.

"Frank I know your mad but please come home so I can make it up to you." He begged.

When he said that a little fuse went off in my head making me angry and hurt. "What are you going to do to make it up? Fuck me like the whore you said I was"

the line was silent for a minute before I heard crying
"frank you have no idea how sorry I am just please believe me and come home."

"why do you need me home so bad?" I asked.

"Shit-I..frank if you aren't home by five tonight I can't make it up to you.." He said sounding defeated.

"What there's a time limit on how long I'm allowed to mad now?!" I asked getting annoyed.

"frank you don't understand. Just please come home I promise I can make it up to you." He pleaded

"why? Maybe I'll just chill where I am and go test out how rusty my hooker skills are. Maybe find some random dude with a big dick to fuck me for a couple bucks since y'know I'm a whore and all"

"Frank don't even fucking joke about that." He said seriously.

"Why? What's its matter? I know our relationships done. I know you want to take Nathan and leave but you won't because you're scared I'll kill myself and you can't live with the guilt and my kid." I snapped.

"..you...you heard me..."

"Yep almost all of you and Mikey's conversation."

"Is..is that why you were crying and didn't want me to help you out of the shower." He asked quietly.

"Yep."

"Fuck. " he said and then I just heard crying for a while before he spoke again.
"I fucked up big time and I don't blame you for hating me. But you have to come home. I can't do anything except say I'm sorry over the phone and if you come home I promise frank, I promise I'll make it up to you, no matter what it takes. Just please come home for me- no don't even come home for me come home for Nathan or hell even Mikey but just know I'm sorry and I really want to fix this" he said his voice cracking multiple times

"I'm sorry frank I really am." he said and then I hung up.

I looked at the clock. '2:37 pm'
two and a half hours till five

Notes

I keep trying to write the last chapter but it's like I just can't end this fic! Idk what to do ughh!!
thanks again

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