Pay the price

I can't believe it. I'm out. After almost two and a half damn months I'm free of that fucking psych ward. I'll miss Jamia but we have each other's numbers incase we want to talk or meet up, or if I feel suicidal again.

now my only problem is that I don't have a place to stay. Mikey and Gerard haven't visited me in almost two weeks and Im not sure what Gerard knows at this point in time.

I stopped and sat down on a bench outside a small store. I sat and thought for a while before deciding that I wasn't going home and that I was going to man up and go to Gerard's apartment.

the worst he can do is say no and avoid me. If that happens I'll just suck it up and find a place to stay, I can handle this. Or at least I should be able to, because really after all the shit I've been threw lately this is nothing.

I continued my walk with only a small white bag in my hands containing my phone, my cigarettes, a lighter, and of course all of my medicine.

eventually I arrived at Gerard's apartment that had housed me for so long until the incident at school. School. That was another thing I hadn't really thought about. I don't really know if I can go back anymore after everything. I always thought that was my only way out of this town but maybe I'm meant to be stuck here.

i knocked on the door, and heard a 'coming one second!' On the other side. We hadn't talked in so long I wasn't sure what was going to happen but when he opened the door and saw it was me his face was one of shock.

At at first I worried until he pulled me into a bone crushing hug. "Oh my god you're back." He sighed in relief and then released me shutting the door to the apartment behind him.

"Yea I'm back" I answered "...hey gee I was wondering if I could stay here maybe?" I whispered quietly.


"I thought you were automatically coming to stay with me?" He said

"Yea but after what happened with mikey I wasn't sure." I admitted

"Woah woah woah back up. What happened with Mikey?"

"you didn't send him to visit me?"I asked

"No I didn't." He said seriously. "What did he do?" He asked again this time more firm.

"He uh came to talk to me about us....after you told me that you liked me....he said you were a wreck and didn't want to face me about it so he did." I said. "He didn't tell you any of our conversation?"

"No nothing I didn't even know he went to see you, but uh frank what happened in that conversation...about us." He said saying the last part quietly.

"He asked if I liked you back."

Gerard looked at me with extremely hopeful and worried eyes. "What did you say?"

I sat down on the couch and motioned for him to follow. He did and I began to speak carefully telling him my thoughts. "I never thought of you like that until you brought it up.
I had time to think while at the ward and well...yea I like you. I don't know how far you meant, but I decided that if you'd ever ask me to be your boyfriend that I'd say yes."
I took a deep breath and continued.
"I want to put the past behind us and move on. I may not be on speaking terms with Mikey but I'm living with you and that's all that matters. So yea my final answer is yes gerard I like you."

"So then will you be my boyfriend?" Gerard asked staring straight into my eyes.

Notes

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