Pay the price

A crush. On me?

He can't have a crush on me. Maybe he was talking about someone else...no, then why would he tell me? if he liked some other kid why would I care, and why would he want to tell me anyways.

he definetly meant he had a crush on me. That's probably why he came here everyday to try and talk to me, but yet I ignored him. What does he even see in me?

Im a whore. I literally met him while fucking some other random guy under the bleachers at lunch, and he gave me a detention right after for my mouth.

I was best friends with his baby brother for years and never met him once. I only knew him as the guy who bought me and mikey booze and cigarettes which I really need to get a hold of. I've been craving a cigarette since I got here and it's driving me crazy.

i need to talk to him about this obviously but the problem is what if he doesn't come back to the ward. I never thought of gerard like a boyfriend but when I think about it he's the closest thing to a boyfriend I've ever had.

I live with him (well besides the ward) and we both care for each other. He's protected me at school a few times from other people besides billie ray and bob, and we've already fucked.

i actually think id enjoy having a boyfriend. I think it would be good since then I'd be tied down to one person and not fucking five a night without feeling regret. I'd never cheat on anyone if I was in a relationship. I'd never want anyone to feel like they've been betrayed because even though I've never dated anyone I know the feeling of betrayal and it sucks.

"Frank are you okay?"

"Huh?" I said looking up. "Oh hey Jamia yeah I'm fine." I replied going back to staring at the ceiling.

"Something interesting up there?" She laughed as she came over to lay on my bed with me.

"Yeah just all my thoughts why?" i joked.

"I wish I could see your thoughts on the ceiling. I think it'd be cool and it would make my job a hell of a lot easier."

"Jamia shut up." I laughed playfully hitting her arm. "Trust me you probably don't want to know what goes through the heads of most of your patients. You'd be scarred for life."

"Yea but if I knew everything I'd be able to help out more."

"You already do help, or help me at least. You're my only friend and you have no idea how much it means to me that you're in my life. Seriously thank you so much."

"Hey man I'm glad you're in my life too but it sounds to me like you've got a love interest." She smirked

"You heard our conversation didn't you?" I asked referring to mine and Gerard's.

"Yea I did." She admitted. "So what are you gonna do? Do you like him?"

I sighed. "Honestly I don't know. I'd like having a relationship and shit, but I wanna talk to him first. I'd never thought of him y'know...like that before he brought it up."

"Okay so talk to him."

Wow no shit Jamia. "Yea but what if he doesn't come back because he didn't mean to let it slip that he liked me. I'd have to wait till I get out of here." I groaned.

"I'm sure he'll come back, and frank you get out of here as soon as you prove it to us here that you're ready and aren't going to harm yourself anymore."

"Jamia you already know I'm fine!" I yelled getting angry. "Why can't you let me leave!?"

"Frank calm down!" She said sternly.
"I don't make the decision and you sitting there during group meetings telling all the other doctors to fuck off isn't helping you out get out any faster."

"You're right." I said giving in.

----------------------

"get away!" I yelled slapping this random guy who wouldn't stop following me.

he hissed at me and kept following. "Seriously this is your last chance get the fuck away now before I hurt you." I spat through clenched teeth.

This time he barked at me. Okay this fucker is annoying. I set my tray of food down and decked him in the face. He screamed and ran away making a big scene.

I looked around to check if any doctors had seen me, but who I saw watching me I wasn't expecting.

There was mikey with Jamia just walking into the recreation room. Jamia was scowling at me looking disappointed while mikey looked scared shitless.

This should be fun.

Notes

Sorry for grammar I'll fix it later

xoxox
mcrlove